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an old Ex Bk..
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bluewing Joined: 24 Feb 2006 Posts: 21 |
Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 6:21 pm Post subject: an old Ex Bk.. |
Hi, I am new here. also from Brazil, but not there now. I took the intensive course in 1982, and after my lokik sister (at the time bk) came back from Madubhan and London, me and 98% of the Bks left because we got very confused and rebelious about how things were done differently (not according to Baba?!)..but I went back, went to India 3x, left gyan, tried to come back, etc.. etc... I must say, I met beautiful, loving, interesting, caring people on this path, specially the ones from London ( needless to say 98% of them also left..). I am still friends with some of them and life has not been very balanced since I started this journey . always confused about good karma/ celibacy/ attachment/ destruction and God. I am very lucky to have found this site, or more lovingly saying: to have found you guys...let's keep chating...and helping each other...
Joel Joined: 09 Nov 2004 Posts: 102 |
Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:15 am Post subject: Re: an old Ex Bk.. |
bluewing wrote:
Hi, I am new here. also from Brazil, but not there now. I took the intensive course in 1982, and after my lokik sister (at the time bk) came back from Madubhan and London, me and 98% of the Bks left because we got very confused and rebelious about how things were done differently (not according to Baba?!)..but I went back, went to India 3x, left gyan, tried to come back, etc.. etc... I must say, I met beautiful, loving, interesting, caring people on this path, specially the ones from London ( needless to say 98% of them also left..). I am still friends with some of them and life has not been very balanced since I started this journey . always confused about good karma/ celibacy/ attachment/ destruction and God. I am very lucky to have found this site, or more lovingly saying: to have found you guys...let's keep chating...and helping each other...
Welcome Bluewing! The easiest way I find to avoid confusion about G.K/C/A/D and G is to live happily and true to myself without thinking about those issues, as many happy 'ordinary" people can be themselves without such religious/philosophical scaffolding. Probably I would have stuck with it, but after ten years of trying, I didn't seem to have that intense fire of yoga and love that was supposed to have transformed me. My first trip to Madhuban was at the end of 1981, so maybe we were there at the same time in following years. One guy I want to get in touch with is a Portugese fellow Henri, who I remember from the early days. One thing that was special was the feeling of family relationship.... but then the relationship with my own mother was great and as an adult, I don't particularly want to go back to what i was at birth.
bluewing Joined: 24 Feb 2006 Posts: 21 |
Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 2:34 am Post subject: hi there... |
Hello, Joel..nice to hear that you are from the 'old' group, please, nothing against everybodyelse, but you are right, there was such a feeling of closeness, friendship, lightness...yes, I also agree, today to me God can hear me and give answers or insights, I JUST HAVE TO BE MYSELF !!!! If you are talking about Henrique, he was from Brazil, then went to Portugal - Godly service-for some wonderful time ( I was there too for awhile) , married Monica, the sister in-charge of Spain at that time, they had a daughter together , now divorced but still in Spain...he was (is) very fun to be with, funny, talented and courageous...anyway...tks for the good advice, to be myself is the only answer to a light life !!!
Sanvean Joined: 08 Feb 2006 Posts: 27 |
Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 6:29 am Post subject: |
Hi Bluewing, Welcome! Itīs nice to have someone from Brazil here . I think I donīt know you, because I was there at 90īs. Itīs really good to find this place. I always have the feeling that we canīt be understand for anybody... I used to talk with my husband and my psicotherapist about the experience in BK, but I told them that I found this place and Iīm glad with this. Regards Sanvean
bluewing Joined: 24 Feb 2006 Posts: 21 |
Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:46 pm Post subject: Oi,Sanvean |
tudo bom? it is nice to know that we can talk openly about our experiences..for years I was lost trying to decide what to do , after you leave Bks, you feel so 'dirty', small' think you will be punished big time by God for leaving the path; I still feel that way sometimes, do you think phycotherapist or someone professional helped you at all? My sister has a 4 year old son and to me is really hard to accept naturally that it was a good choice for her (maybe is just attachment). I could never finish a school, because desctruction was always around the corner . Today I don't have any bad feelings towards Bks,but something was imprinted on me very strong that I have to work very hard on my happiness, and for us, brazilians (and women) to have a relationship was very easy, right? Ate a proxima...
Sanvean Joined: 08 Feb 2006 Posts: 27 |
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:34 am Post subject: |
Oi Asa Azul, Itīs really hard to overcome the feeling of beeing small. I remember when I left gyan I said to myself that I was a warrior soul, silver soul. Maybe itīs true, but I donīt care about this. Iīm trying to be an ordinary and happy person. But I have problems with my self estime yet. After Raja yoga, I lost my faith in myself. I think that a professional can really help us. I fight a lot to talk. Iīm doing analysis for almost 9 years. I have difficult to say to the psicotherapist the name Brahma Kumaris yet. Iīm afraid to blemish the institution. But now I said anyway. I think that is important to understand the reasons we entered in this path and why we left it. I know that itīs important for me to have a family and to be free. To be happy is our right.
Quote:
I have to work very hard on my happiness
Me too. The last year was horrible. I was in crise and I put my marriage in crises too. So, I looked for a psicotherapist again. He helped me to see myself, my body (itīs so hard to look for myself like a woman! I feel guilty )
Quote:
and for us, brazilians (and women) to have a relationship was very easy, right?
I didnīt understant this. Relatioship with God, people or boyfriends? I donīt speak english very well. So, itīs hard to express myself in english. But I try!!! Até mais!
Tete Joined: 26 Jan 2005 Posts: 169 |
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:02 pm Post subject: Welcome |
Bluewing, Welcome....I have been so excited about the three arrivals of female energy to the Chat: Sanvean, Sam and you. Regards, Tete
bluewing Joined: 24 Feb 2006 Posts: 21 |
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 9:22 pm Post subject: Hi, Tete, |
Thanks for the "feminine" welcome...are you a Libra too? I see your Avatar..how much do you believe in this astrology study? Does it make some sense to you? Although we are very unique for coming in different time/space/place. until next time,
bluewing Joined: 24 Feb 2006 Posts: 21 |
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 9:24 pm Post subject: TETE |
SORRY, i AM NOT TOO FAMILIAR WITH THIS FORUM BUSINESS YET, BUT LAST MESSAGE WAS FOR YOU...
Sanvean Joined: 08 Feb 2006 Posts: 27 |
Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 7:14 pm Post subject: |
I donīt know about these subjects. But I think we can write a new post on "Any and everything" about astrology. Iīm a libra too.
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