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catlady Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 26 Location: USA |
Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 9:26 pm Post subject: Dating a BK |
Tete, I found your earlier comment to be very helpful:
Quote:
This was a small circle of friends and some didn't live in the same state. Back then there wasn't a XBK chat or other support group. Many found great friendship and I think comfort in each other. It helps to have others question or bring up concerns they have rather than someone they are in love with. I remember asking about things that didn't make sense to me and having it bring up conflict. Since we are from the outside looking in, some of the questions may seem hard for them as they haven't resolved them yet. Many questions I am just having answered today.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am also someone on the "outside looking in" who has been involved for sometime with an XBK. I have found this topic to be very timely as, though we have shared much and seem to have many things in common, he has recently pulled back, and I am uncertain as to the future of the relationship. I know that I, too, have made mistakes, largely based on my past experiences and baggage. I am hopeful that we can evolve past this stage. Catlady _________________ Catlady
anova Joined: 03 May 2004 Posts: 9 |
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 2:13 pm Post subject: |
Catlady, you may post my private reply to you on this site. Sorry folks Stephen and I split up. The reply to Catlady is a little bitter but I'm still in recovery. I'm sure that my reward for really loving someone deeply and sincerely trying to help them (even though it wasn't wanted) will be someone else who will love me and value my presence in their lives...xbk's need not apply (well not unless you have it sussed anyway). I would like to take advantage of Catladys topic to say a huge thank you to all of you who sent kind words of encouragement to me, they really were a light in a dark place. Stephen and I had one special thing in common we are both spiritually inquisitive, that's hard to find in this world. Was it worth it? Ask me again in six months, right now it doesn't feel like it. Administrator: I'm real (blond, five foot five, slim, human) and so is Stephen (tall, dark, troubled, probably a shadow of his former self) sorry to blow your theory. You guys hang on in there, this is a beautiful world, love life, love being human, see a loving God all around you, come on it's warm out here in the Sun. Anova x
kyra Joined: 19 Apr 2004 Posts: 66 |
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 3:01 pm Post subject: |
anova wrote:
Catlady, you may post my private reply to you on this site. Sorry folks Stephen and I split up. The reply to Catlady is a little bitter but I'm still in recovery. I'm sure that my reward for really loving someone deeply and sincerely trying to help them (even though it wasn't wanted) will be someone else who will love me and value my presence in their lives...xbk's need not apply (well not unless you have it sussed anyway). I would like to take advantage of Catladys topic to say a huge thank you to all of you who sent kind words of encouragement to me, they really were a light in a dark place. Stephen and I had one special thing in common we are both spiritually inquisitive, that's hard to find in this world. Was it worth it? Ask me again in six months, right now it doesn't feel like it. Administrator: I'm real (blond, five foot five, slim, human) and so is Stephen (tall, dark, troubled, probably a shadow of his former self) sorry to blow your theory. You guys hang on in there, this is a beautiful world, love life, love being human, see a loving God all around you, come on it's warm out here in the Sun. Anova x
Anova, It is sad it didn't work out, but your right - you can’t help someone who doesn’t think they need it. You would make more of a dent banging your head against the wall. Not all us xbks are messed up - some of us found our way again. I can only hope your ex finds his when he is ready. Nothing is in vain and neither was your relationship. I'm not sure what the note to the admin was. I would be disappointed if anyone was making allegations of the validity of users on the forum. After all this is not a secret group which needs to be infiltrated and thinking so proves futile. I sincerely wish you all the best! I hope the pain of separation is healed soon, there most definitely is someone out there for you. Continue to enjoy the sunshine, as I do here! Much love, Kyra
catlady Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 26 Location: USA |
Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 1:54 am Post subject: Dating a BK |
Kyra wrote:
Quote:
anova wrote: It is sad it didn't work out, but your right - you can’t help someone who doesn’t think they need it. You would make more of a dent banging your head against the wall. Not all us xbks are messed up - some of us found our way again. I can only hope your ex finds his when he is ready. Nothing is in vain and neither was your relationship. I'm not sure what the note to the admin was. I would be disappointed if anyone was making allegations of the validity of users on the forum. After all this is not a secret group which needs to be infiltrated and thinking so proves futile. I sincerely wish you all the best! I hope the pain of separation is healed soon, there most definitely is someone out there for you. Continue to enjoy the sunshine, as I do here! Much love, Kyra
in response to Anova's comments:
Quote:
Catlady, you may post my private reply to you on this site. Sorry folks Stephen and I split up. The reply to Catlady is a little bitter but I'm still in recovery. I'm sure that my reward for really loving someone deeply and sincerely trying to help them (even though it wasn't wanted) will be someone else who will love me and value my presence in their lives...xbk's need not apply (well not unless you have it sussed anyway). I would like to take advantage of Catladys topic to say a huge thank you to all of you who sent kind words of encouragement to me, they really were a light in a dark place. Stephen and I had one special thing in common we are both spiritually inquisitive, that's hard to find in this world. Was it worth it? Ask me again in six months, right now it doesn't feel like it. Administrator: I'm real (blond, five foot five, slim, human) and so is Stephen (tall, dark, troubled, probably a shadow of his former self) sorry to blow your theory. You guys hang on in there, this is a beautiful world, love life, love being human, see a loving God all around you, come on it's warm out here in the Sun. Anova x
It does seem to me that both Anova and Kyra are very loving and caring people with much to share. I do think that spiritual inquistiveness and reflection are very important qualities in someone with whom one considers spending time, and sharing love. That is one point I have noticed in several posters on this site. I have also noticed some are not so mature and balanced, and this, plus some of the rules of the BKs may be responsible for the various types of abuse that have been reported in other threads here. It is always hard to go through painful times, but as my mother always said, "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I think that we are often tested by life, but it is usually only to push us to grow. (I say that , having just returned home from the hospital after consulting on a young man who had tried to hang himself. I have no idea the reason for his act.) I certainly wish you the best in your future, Anova. I also trust that you will grow from your recent experience. Catlady _________________ Catlady
catlady Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 26 Location: USA |
Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 11:33 am Post subject: Dating a BK |
I would also venture to say that the willingness to separate from and abandon lokik (outside) relations produces the mindset that a BK need not care about the feelings of non-BKs. I think that this is very dangerous to relationships. _________________ Catlady
Teresa Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 9 |
Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 4:20 am Post subject: |
Hi everyone, been bit quiet of late, although still keeping up to date with the chat !! Well thought id share my news, im on cloud 9, since our last dis agreement which was bought on by to much drink things have been great, our relationship keeps getting better and better. We are now living together, plus to top it all he proposed to me on Valentines day !! so fingers crossed all looks good, he makes me very happy in all departments, the BK`S havent come into it, yeh ok he does bit of meditation, was supposed to go to meeting on sunday but never made it as had other things to do.. I know he will want to go to another meeting not saying he is dismissing his faith, he said that he takes what bits he feels helps him to become a better person !! Teresa
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