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Sanvean Joined: 08 Feb 2006 Posts: 27 |
Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 12:24 pm Post subject: hello, Iīm a new XBK |
Hi!!! Sorry for my terrible english, anyway Iīll try to write something about me. Iīm from Brazil. I left Brahma Kumaris eleven years ago. I stayed there for five years (from 18 to 24 years old) and I used to be a brahmin paka. I was very happy there. I did a lot of sacrifices and I changed a lot. When I left, my world falled to pieces. But I studied and became bachelor, I got married and I had a son. I think Iīm very lucky. The main problem I need to face was the thinking that the world will be destroyed. This is very negative. The other problem is the feeling that you are special. So, I have a ilusion that I have a special rule in this world. This is bad because we think we are better than others and we donīt need to do efforts in this world like everyone... I fight to find my values and my spiritualitty. I love God and I talked with him, but I canīt feel Him anymore. I tried to return do Brahma Kumaris as a friend, I worked a little bit for them, but this experience affected me. Iīm doing therapy since I left Baba. And this feeling used to be common, that I left God and not a sect. Itīs hard to me to talk about Brahma Kumaris. I had a strong relashionship with the institution and I have some Bk friends yet. I thought about create a community of XBK in Orkut in portuguese (www.orkut.com - very popular in Brazil). It would be easy to express myself in portuguese. But Iīm afraid... Anyway itīs really good to find a place to share some experiences. Thanks and sorry again for the very bad english... sanvean
jim brady Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 19 |
Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:04 pm Post subject: |
A very warm welcome to the site, hope you stay a while, your English is excellent Can you tell me why you left? What was it that caused you to lose faith? Jim Brady
howiemac Joined: 18 May 2005 Posts: 142 Location: Scotland |
Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:10 pm Post subject: Re: hello, Iīm a new XBK |
Hi Sanvean a warm welcome to the forum
Sanvean wrote:
I love God and I talked with him, but I canīt feel Him anymore.......this feeling used to be common, that I left God and not a sect
God is not the sole property of BKs - God is here for every human soul, and is always available to us, regardless of what we have done, always loving every one of us unconditionally. If you can't feel him/her anymore then you are blocking him/her out - many things can do this: negative and wasteful thoughts, negative feelings such as guilt, insecurity, misery. Whatever, you don't need to be with the BKs to be with God. They have created this dangerous myth that leaving the BKs means leaving God - the two things are not connected. Try to sever in your mind the connection between the BKs and God, and between the BKs and meditation - meditation is very beneficial in opening up to God. Other avenues to explore include giving up meat and alcohol if you take them, as they will pull you down, away from God. A pure diet and a pure mind takes you close to God - you do not have to practice the BK ways to become more pure. There is no need to be celibate, but lust will get in your way, the focus has to be on love. Love yourself first, and love for others will follow - you are a child of God, and God loves you.
gyaniwasi Joined: 22 Feb 2004 Posts: 167 |
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:02 pm Post subject: |
Hi Sanvean, Welcome. It's nice hearing from someone in Brazil. You said:
Quote:
this feeling used to be common, that I left God and not a sect.
but you also said:
Quote:
I fight to find my values and my spiritualitty
And that is most important. I hope you find the kind of support you need here and look forward to your sharing more experiences with us. Take care. Gyaniwasi _________________ "Those were the days my friend ...."
Joel Joined: 09 Nov 2004 Posts: 102 |
Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 12:51 am Post subject: Re: hello, Iīm a new XBK |
Sanvean wrote:
Hi!!! Sorry for my terrible english, anyway Iīll try to write something about me. Iīm from Brazil. I left Brahma Kumaris eleven years ago. I stayed there for five years (from 18 to 24 years old) and I used to be a brahmin paka. I was very happy there. I did a lot of sacrifices and I changed a lot. When I left, my world falled to pieces. But I studied and became bachelor, I got married and I had a son. I think Iīm very lucky. [....] sanvean
So probably you knew Ken. Ken, Charlie and Denise were the examples when I joined the BKs. Strong, independent individuals with keen intellects who seemed to be living fully, creatively while also being part of the BK family. I held them up as examples for myself to emulate while cutting out ("purifying") my own heart and brain, trying to replace those parts of myself with something more Godlike. As in many other aspects of my life, the failure to achieve what I initially set out to accomplish I now consider to be fortunate, in fact among my greatest personal successes. Glad to hear you have a wife and child, Sanvean. I think it is possible that you could contact divine creative wisdom, love, compassion, forgiveness, etc.--the qualities we ascribe to God--within yourself, whether or not you choose to associate those qualities with a personal, external God.
Sanvean Joined: 08 Feb 2006 Posts: 27 |
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:14 am Post subject: Hi Jim |
jim brady wrote:
Can you tell me why you left? What was it that caused you to lose faith? Jim Brady
Thanks for the welcome. Iīll create a new topic in XBK issues...for XBKs ONLY about the reason I left. The hole history. This is because itīs very easy to identify me with my history and this chat is open. Anyway I can tell you that I didnīt lose my faith. I left Brahma Kumaris because I falled in love for a guy (Yes, Iīm a woman - ). Howiemac, Thanks for the words. I think that my problem are the wastful and negatives thoughts. I know that meditation is very good, but itīs hard to meditate. I usually think about BKs. Sometimes I write to God and now I praying. I feel myself like a bhagat, but I think that this is not important. I went to a mass in lutheran church two months ago and I could feel God through the music, the wise words and the feelings. But I donīt have any identification with Jesus. But I think that would be important to find a group to have spirituality. Alone is too hard, but maybe this is my way... Gyaniwasi Thanks for your words. Itīs good to talk openly about this experience and find support here. I used to talk about BKs with my husband. He made the course and he tries to understand me, but I think that is difficult for someone that didnīt have this experience. Itīs very nice to be here. Joel I knew Ken very well and Charlie (he visited Brazil once and I talked with him in India). They are great souls. I talked to Ken many times. I always had a good relationship with the instruments here. I think that I need to learn how to walk alone, without support.
Joel wrote:
Glad to hear you have a wife and child, Sanvean. I think it is possible that you could contact divine creative wisdom, love, compassion, forgiveness, etc.--the qualities we ascribe to God--within yourself, whether or not you choose to associate those qualities with a personal, external God.
My family is very important to me. When I left BKs, I rebuild the relashionship with my parents and brothers. They help me a lot. I love my husband and my child too. My husband and I are looking for the spiritual way to walk together, without fanatism. thanks by heart Sanvean
Joel Joined: 09 Nov 2004 Posts: 102 |
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 3:20 pm Post subject: Re: Hi Jim |
Sanvean wrote:
My family is very important to me. When I left BKs, I rebuild the relashionship with my parents and brothers. They help me a lot. I love my husband and my child too. My husband and I are looking for the spiritual way to walk together, without fanatism. thanks by heart Sanvean
Oops! Well, congratulations. Some bias slipping in there! HAZUKASHII I've met many people who don't have to do anything out of the ordinary to be "spiritual." It is only the concept of some judgmental people that life is other than spiritual. Judgment connects to guilt, and suddenly a person believes s/he has to do something special--join some group or pray at some church--to recover their spirituality. Those who are full of life don't worry about such things, even when they go to church.
howiemac Joined: 18 May 2005 Posts: 142 Location: Scotland |
Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:29 am Post subject: Re: Hi Jim |
Sanvean wrote:
itīs hard to meditate. I usually think about BKs. Sometimes I write to God and now I praying. I feel myself like a bhagat, but I think that this is not important. I went to a mass in lutheran church two months ago and I could feel God through the music, the wise words and the feelings. But I donīt have any identification with Jesus. But I think that would be important to find a group to have spirituality. Alone is too hard, but maybe this is my way...
Hi Sanvean - all paths to God are valid - you will find the right one for you. I had some positive interaction with Christianity before encountering the BKs - it was Free Church of Scotland, which, like the lutherans, is evangelical. Like you I felt God there, and kept going for a while, despite having no identification with Jesus. Anyway, Jesus' message was to follow God, not to worship Jesus. It does help a lot to have a group of fellow travellers to share with - I miss that aspect of BK life, but this forum helps in filling the gap. Alone IS hard, but we are never truly alone - God goes with us. I believe i am a 'BK soul' but that being with the BK organisation and following their rules is detrimental and damaging to me (and others) - I do believe I have the full support of God and of angelic Brahma in finding my true path outwith the BK religion. I believe there are many other BK souls in the same position - including some other members of this forum - you may be one too, or your true path may lie elsewhere, only you can know - there is nothing wrong with devotion or being a bhagat - we have to be our true selves and not try to fit into someone else's ideas of who or what we are. Have faith and you will find your way love howiemac
Sanvean Joined: 08 Feb 2006 Posts: 27 |
Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:32 am Post subject: |
Quote:
Judgment connects to guilt, and suddenly a person believes s/he has to do something special--join some group or pray at some church--to recover their spirituality. Those who are full of life don't worry about such things, even when they go to church.
I agree, Joel. I donīt know what is the right thing. I donīt believe that I need to go to a church to recover my spirituality, but maybe it could be a way... Iīm not feeling myself full of life.
Quote:
Have faith and you will find your way
Howiemac, Your words are like water. Iīm not sure what kind of soul I am. When I left BKs, I was sure that I was a warrior soul. Who knows? But I have faith Iīll find my way. love brothers
Sam Joined: 18 Feb 2006 Posts: 47 |
Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 7:46 am Post subject: New to new |
I am a new XBK too, and I know that I do not need the BKWSU institution, or any institution to be with god or in remembrance of god. Sometimes the institution helps, sometimes it hinders. God is here for me if I am a BK, XBK, or never heard of the BKs. I appreciate reading your posts as they help me. I have only recently left the institution. I will read your posts on the hidden forum when I have time. About to have lunch now! My very best wishes, Sam
Sanvean Joined: 08 Feb 2006 Posts: 27 |
Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 7:55 am Post subject: |
Hi Sam,
Quote:
God is here for me if I am a BK, XBK, or never heard of the BKs.
Iīm happy to listen this. When I left, the beggining was hard to me. We need balance to be in the world without fear or arrogance. I think we need new relashionships, new practices to go to the new reality well. I donīt thinks itīs easy, but could be very good. Good luck!
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