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Surrendering the Ego Prematurely
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Kyzzie Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: Oxfordshire |
Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 7:05 am Post subject: Surrendering the Ego Prematurely |
Hello all. I was in gyan for about five years awhile ago and just found this site. I'm so pleased to see this forum exists because it was such a lonely experience coming away from the BKs. I was caught between two worlds, both believing the other to be.. well, you know the score! I learned much from my experience as a BK, but not so much from gyan, but about myself as a person; more particularly why I would surrender to an 'Outside Authority'. The specific point I have been mulling over is that of the ego. The ego is a core function of the individual. Without some form of ego, the organism cannot survive; it simply cannot distinguish between self and non-self; self and pathogens. It cannot discriminate. A poorly developed or damaged ego finds structure and 'holding' from a rigid shrimat. The ego absorbs the form of the organisation in a carte blanche manner and merges it into the identity of the individual. It is not difficult to see how this is not wholesome from a mental health stance. Weak egos are prone to the seduction of grandiosity (known as narcissism). What better than to tell the under-developed ego that they are of the Brahmin class (poof! Voila! Just like that they are transported up the caste system to the very top) and that they are in line to become the Kings and Queens of, no, not this dirty world that doesn't 'do it right', but of another, finer, pure world (ie. an idealised fantasy) that does and will recognise them. Such a soul becomes increasingly dependent upon shrimat and leaving gyan represents a major disruption to the psyche because the ego is now in a state of co-dependency with the BKs. People who have had the misfortune in life to not have a 'healthy' ego, should rather, be given the opportunity to heal, develop and form themselves before surrender. Otherwise it is like embarking upon celibacy when lust still abounds. As long as one has the desire, the struggle of denying it makes it just as important as indulging it. Celibacy only has meaning when the genuine time arrives when desire no longer abounds. Surrender of the ego only has meaning when the ego has played out its role and is ready to move to the next phase. Trying to force that requires the use of willpower. Willpower is a function of ego. The ego is trying to destroy the ego.. sounds a little like an auto-immune disease. Ken Wilbur, in his Fulcrums of Consciousness, discusses the vulnerability of falling into psychosis when actualisation is attempted prematurely and before the ego has reached a healthy-enough stage. One thing (amongst others) that endears me to the individuals within BK and the XBKs is that this is a group of people who, I believe, wish to live their lives in a good and positive manner. They are trying to become selfless and generous. I do not believe they realise how they are being manipulated to such a core level. I must question the motivation within the BK organisation and all other belief systems where the participants aspire to exclusivity. What type of Divine Being would stand in judgement saying 'you, you, not you, you, not you, not you, oh dear, you bit an apple with a worm in it, so are no longer veggie, you're out'. Surely, the truly enlightened, altruistic soul cares nothing of the rewards of the Golden Age nor seeks regal status. Doesn't surrender of the ego imply that one surrenders the wish for recognition or reward? That true enlightenment is modest and singular? And the motivation is entirely the sheer delight one feels from Grace? For myself, I desired that holding of the organisation at the time I entered into it. But as I look back, I no longer see it as spiritual development. I now see it as a risky attempt to compensate other more serious problems in my life at that time. It is only now after intensive psychotherapy and other forms of personal development (some good, some dreadful) that I now feel I understand what I was trying to accomplish. It was avoidance of my then-reality and following the seduction of a Fast Path to something superior. I suppose surviving a train wreck also gives you a new appreciation of life as it is. Thank you all so much for being here so that I can finally share these thoughts! _________________ If God wanted me up at 4am, she would not have invented sleep.
Joel Joined: 09 Nov 2004 Posts: 102 |
Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 7:26 am Post subject: Re: Surrendering the Ego Prematurely |
Kyzzie wrote:
Hello all. I was in gyan for about five years awhile ago and just found this site. I'm so pleased to see this forum exists because it was such a lonely experience coming away from the BKs. [....] Thank you all so much for being here so that I can finally share these thoughts!
Thanks for that thoughtful first posting. I don't think I have anything to add, except to say I feel lucky to share (virtual) company with someone as perceptive as yourself. Poof! You are part of the highest caste. Yes, it did seem very easy. Now I am better than all those bullies who kicked sand in my face, and who I now know will be torn into pieces again and again while I ascend gloriously into the lap of love.
Kyzzie Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: Oxfordshire |
Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:18 am Post subject: |
Thank you Joel. Nice to *meet* you! _________________ If God wanted me up at 4am, she would not have invented sleep.
Sanvean Joined: 08 Feb 2006 Posts: 27 |
Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 12:00 pm Post subject: |
Quote:
I learned much from my experience as a BK, but not so much from gyan, but about myself as a person; more particularly why I would surrender to an 'Outside Authority'.
Welcome Kyzzie! I´m trying to understand this yet. Very nice points! thanks for share your thoughts.
Tete Joined: 26 Jan 2005 Posts: 169 |
Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 12:45 am Post subject: A woman with spunk....what a novel idea! |
Kyzzie, Welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!! In my neck of the woods there is a radio host Ray Taliaferro who refers to God as a Beautiful Black Woman! I always got a kick out of that line. On occasion he calls God the Great Goddess in the Sky. The phone lines just lit up when he did that. So, I got a good laugh out of your line: Kyzzie,
Quote:
If God wanted me up at 4am, she would not have invented sleep.
Regards, Tete
howiemac Joined: 18 May 2005 Posts: 142 Location: Scotland |
Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 5:39 am Post subject: Re: Surrendering the Ego Prematurely |
Kyzzie wrote:
As long as one has the desire, the struggle of denying it makes it just as important as indulging it. Celibacy only has meaning when the genuine time arrives when desire no longer abounds.
Quote:
Surely, the truly enlightened, altruistic soul cares nothing of the rewards of the Golden Age nor seeks regal status. Doesn't surrender of the ego imply that one surrenders the wish for recognition or reward? That true enlightenment is modest and singular? And the motivation is entirely the sheer delight one feels from Grace?
Top stuff Kyzzie Welcome to the forum.
Sam Joined: 18 Feb 2006 Posts: 47 |
Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 11:48 am Post subject: welcome |
Thankyou for your insightful post. Maybe you can help me with the problem I detail on the XBK only forum? I think what you describe is what I may need help with. Sam.
Kyzzie Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: Oxfordshire |
Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 9:44 am Post subject: |
What a treat to meet all of you here! One of the hardest parts of leaving gyan was leaving some of the absolutely delightful people in it. yes yes yes.. I know the 'Attachment' thingy.. but heavens, life just HAS to be nicer with kind and bright people around! _________________ If God wanted me up at 4am, she would not have invented sleep.
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