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In a relationship with a BK, and confused Goto page Previous 1, 2
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whitecandy Joined: 28 Nov 2005 Posts: 10 Location: Singapore |
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 5:05 am Post subject: |
Joel, Thank you for your response. I love this man sincerely, and yes..I agree..I don't see any reason why I should leave him. But..sometimes his attachment with BK makes me think twice. I am in confusion now. I love him, and he is leaving to Rajasthan next year, for one whole year. Leaving me here.
bansy Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 84 |
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:58 pm Post subject: |
Dear sis I'm sorry to tow the hard line, but it seems you don't love him enough. If you did, you wouldn't be asking us. You'll be packing your bag now. And he doesn't love you enough. If he did, he would have asked you before enrolling you on a course. I really do wish you good luck and love in your journey for a truthful relationship. Life is full of twists and turns. Go to the retreat. You're already halfway there just thinking about it. Learn about the twists and turns. But never fear to get off and take the exit at the next junction though. Think positive, you may see something at the retreat that will really open your eyes.
whitecandy Joined: 28 Nov 2005 Posts: 10 Location: Singapore |
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 11:32 pm Post subject: |
Some updates on me : He was surprised when I asked him about the murli. He never thought that I'm the curious type who does my own research on things and try to find it out myself. Things are so far okay with me and him. I noticed that he keeps a stack of murlis in his office.
kyra Joined: 19 Apr 2004 Posts: 66 |
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 12:08 am Post subject: |
Hi, It will become impossible for him to live a double life and he will choose one or the other, or nothing at all. The guilt those murli's inflict on people who love outside of the BK's is enormous. Nearly sent me over the edge. I chose my partner, best thing I ever did. Do you think I talk to one BK now? No. They all dropped me like hot cakes when they found out. So much for being non-judgemental. I hope it works out for you both. Kyra
Joel Joined: 09 Nov 2004 Posts: 102 |
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 1:45 am Post subject: |
kyra wrote:
Hi, It will become impossible for him to live a double life and he will choose one or the other, or nothing at all. The guilt those murli's inflict on people who love outside of the BK's is enormous. Nearly sent me over the edge. I chose my partner, best thing I ever did. Do you think I talk to one BK now? No. They all dropped me like hot cakes when they found out. So much for being non-judgemental. I hope it works out for you both. Kyra
Yes, Kyra, I can imagine the guy is conflicted between the love of immediate intimacy -- which is hard to deny -- and the intellectual mindset of right-and-wrong among BKs. Not everyone experiences the same heavy guilt trip from the murli language that you do, but it was enough to send one of the London BK women jumping off a balcony and eventually to suicide, and an unstable married student of mine into some sort of breakdown. These events (or rather, the BKs non-emotional non-responses to these events) were pivotal in my decision to leave. Among BKs to talk of such events is considered "spreading negativity" -- a disservice that takes others away from God. To supplement Kyra's perspective, a few BKs still contact me despite knowing of my being in a relationship; I can't say definitively whether it is friendship or "service to the old ones who have left" -- probably a mixture of both. In general I would say I definitely have more active unambiguous friendships among ex-BKs.
hanuman Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 174 |
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 4:15 am Post subject: In Relationship with a BK |
Dear WhiteCandy, My empathy is extended to you and yours. When I was young in gyan, BD sent me on a mission. It was a special mission in which I did lokik studies to become a veterinarian and do service to minorities and folks in academia. On the campus, I was introduced and fell in love with a smart attractive lady, who was taking some time off from her PhD studies at an Ivy League University. The relationship though platonic, lasted for a year. We were very much in love with each other and I was able with yoga power and her understanding to stay on the path of raj yog. There was a friendly separation and she got married to some one else and I to veterinary medicine as my second companion, BD being the first companion. The young lady and I remained good friends many years after her marriage. About a decade later, a lady who could with ease be a center fold, fell in love with me. She later dumped me after I expressed my determination to continue observing brahmacharya. I felt the rejection. However, raj yoga was a buffer in reducing the pain of rejection. A few years after I learned in a very practical way, that physical love was not an obstacle for my spiritual development. The obstacle was the non-acceptance of many in the BK community of my acceptance of physical love from ladies as I walked on the path of spirituality! I feel no guilt for physical loving! Indeed, it is the companionship with soul mates which has contributed to my spiritual growth. Behind every strong and evolved man there is the support and love of a strong and dedicated wise woman! _________________ Om Shanti, To my brothers and sisters. Love to you all, Errol bhai
zhukov Joined: 10 Apr 2004 Posts: 86 |
Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 8:30 pm Post subject: |
Joel wrote:
Not everyone experiences the same heavy guilt trip from the murli language that you do, but it was enough to send one of the London BK women jumping off a balcony and eventually to suicide, and an unstable married student of mine into some sort of breakdown. These events (or rather, the BKs non-emotional non-responses to these events) were pivotal in my decision to leave. Among BKs to talk of such events is considered "spreading negativity" -- a disservice that takes others away from God.
^^I would consider that an almost criminal abrogation of responsibility.
Joel Joined: 09 Nov 2004 Posts: 102 |
Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 4:04 am Post subject: |
zhukov wrote:
Joel wrote:
Not everyone experiences the same heavy guilt trip from the murli language that you do, but it was enough to send one of the London BK women jumping off a balcony and eventually to suicide, and an unstable married student of mine into some sort of breakdown. These events (or rather, the BKs non-emotional non-responses to these events) were pivotal in my decision to leave. Among BKs to talk of such events is considered "spreading negativity" -- a disservice that takes others away from God.
^^I would consider that an almost criminal abrogation of responsibility.
I'll leave that for Scotland Yard to decide. For me, it meant the group looked more like what I read about in The Guru Papers and less like a unique family of God in a position to change the world,... or my world.
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