Viewing profile - pinky

affinity to the BKWSU:
short description of interest in joining forum:
I left the BK's in the 90's after a breakdown and with depression. Before I completely left some caring and more 'savvy' people I knew recognised that I had depression and needed to go to the doctors. I was there when they discussed it with a more 'senior' member who did not really do much. There was open discussions between some of the 'purists' who said that drugs and medication weren't needed - just Baba!! But I was ill. I can remember sitting in Madbhubhan and saying to myself ' I cannot do this anymore'....and then in the following year I gradually moved out of the Centre, got a flat and went off the rails. I had no friends - because I had lost all of them since joining the BK's and becoming weird. I had no real friendships with my family because they had to watch my slow deterioration after joining this cult. I became anorexic during this time too. I somehow managed to keep my job and get through it. But I can remember after I had gone off the rails and had no one around me who loved one in the BK's contacted me or cared about me in a real way....I can remember sitting in the bath one time and considering killing myself and crying. What a ******* mess. That was in my 20's and now I am in my 40's but that time with the BKs has been a shadow in my life. I have never really recovered. I think I still feel the shame and guilt of 'failing' to stay. Maybe only now am I ready to have a look at what I got involved in and what happened to me.
Yes, I wish to remain entirely anonymous

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22 Aug 2015
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