paulkershaw is right master creator, you need to verbalize what’s going in your heart and head right now. Your questions may be an attempt to have some one tell you that magic point on why Raja Yoga is right or wrong. This point is actually already in your self. It could be why you are here. Well, as my duty as Neo, I will give you that point my BK friend.
I lost faith in Raja Yoga; I started to doubt the validity of what the BKs, and the Murlis were telling me.
I put a top 10 list somewhere in this forum, real reasons why I left but I spiced it up in a David Letterman Late Show style, so the order of my reasons were not put in the order I really prioritized them. I don’t think anyone actually got it though. Maybe not a lot of Late Show fans here
.
Anyhoot, in one point that’s it.
Faith/Belief.
I am a hard core perfectionist who believes in all or nothing (it’s the death of me) and when I was a BK it was about ALL. Read everything, did everything, and was totally hypnotized from staring at that dot all the time coupled with reprogramming verbal suggestions.
As I started to do Seva, I also needed to be the best. Any good public speaker knows they should only speak about things they are very, very knowledgeable in, so I was then enmeshed with the constant studying of everything I had to not just talk about but also criticize.
As my knowledge grew I became less and less naïve about all the different aspects of psychology, philosophy, spirituality, metaphysics, technologies, and sciences which are related to Raja Yoga and spirituality in general.
In the beginning of my Raja Yoga days I did what the Murli said, throw away all your books about other things and only study this. After I was adept in Raja Yoga, for the sake of Seva, I had to become adept in what other humans saw as spirituality.
I was a person in a group, a tribe, and took in and believed what they told me, I did what they told me to do, and I had the great power that came from such a large and prosperous group of people. The BKs.
But as I became worldly, my single frame vision of being a BK changed into a perspective of a bigger picture of being a human being. I saw what I perceived as ‘wrongs’ in the BKWSU which was suppose to be ‘right’. My awareness moved from the state of being a member of a tribe to an individual. I took responsibility for what was true in my heart and head and I moved into world and out of the BK tribe.
Let me tell you, like ex-l said (and reading that post brought tears to me eyes), leaving is no picnic. You may have to fight your way through hell, I certainly have, but you gotta look at your self and be responsible for your self. Well I guess you could just suppress the conflict you are going though right now, otherwise you need to ask yourself what you believe and what is right and wrong for your soul. If they are right and you stay with them then everything is grand,
but ... but ...
if they are wrong and you don’t at least search for the real truth you are to say the least, irresponsible and a bad care taker for who you really are. Also your a fake and irresponsible person to the people you interact with on a day to day basis.
Having said all that, at the end of the day no one really knows what is happening down here, not really. So what ever you decide, just have faith in your self don’t take things too seriously, just make it a priority to enjoy your life. This is, at least in part, why we are all here, in the long run. You’ve come a long way, all of us here have, and that’s something to really be appreciative and grateful about.