Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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andrey

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post27 Apr 2008

Andrey, to be honest, when you talk like this, for me it is more like Vaishnavism. Did you study with the Hare Krishna or is it from a previous birth?

I find Hare Krishna movement having lifestyle similar to the BK, (celibacy, even offering food, keeping photos, BKs also sing and dance and celebrate, some rituals like worshipping of books etc) but knowledge is very different.

In the West, one always has to have or is always looking for girl/boyfriends. It is very much cultural matter. In other cultures it is not accepted to stare at people at the streets to kiss and hug in front of everyone, to have boyfriend etc. There is promoting of certain lifestyle. Also vegetarianism and religious practices are more innate to some cultures, whilst to others to be religious is a shame. In some cultures it is normal to marry, but not to have boy/girlfiend. The BK lifestyle is connected with the lifestyle in Indian culture where it originated. If you make it different in the different places it is no more the same thing.

There is also advantage in being single. It is said a family man has 1000 concerns, whilst the single has a single concern - how to marry.

ermine

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post27 Apr 2008

omshanti
could you give me this name of this film: "the movie was Korean."
omshanti
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ex-l

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post27 Apr 2008

'Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter ... And Spring' by Kim Ki-duk.

BKs might go glossy eyed at it because it is "spiritual" and "about The Cycle". Initially it is very, very beautiful shot. But, in my opinion, that turns out to be its best idea and it is spoilt by unnecessary cruelty, sadism, so sadly typical of too much Korean media. Stones are tied to fish, frogs and snakes and killed, ropes strung around cockerels, a turtle is flipped on its back, humans and cats get it too ... PETA would hate it and quite rightly so.

It is a morality tale and so it might pass BK musters ... but it also includes a torrid sex scene during the breaking of Maryadas and so might seed bad Maya for some (Hmmn ... how long until someone shoots a hot ex-BK movie in India?).
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alladin

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post27 Apr 2008

Thanks ex-l for filling in the info, I was also browsing on the web to get the director's name straight! I remember the scenes in which animals are being tortured. I had probably fallen asleep by the time Shrimat was being broken, or Baba mercifully narcotized me! What a shame!
(Hmmn ... how long until someone shoots a hot ex-BK movie in India?).

And what makes you think that it hasn't happened already and is circulating in VIPs' rooms and special quarters?

Maybe we can recycle ourselves and play in it (paid, pls!), unless they require virgins only! :lol: They would probably be able to find many volunteers for this kind of service, recruiting in the troops of frustrated BKs! ( Sorry, I am bad, but it's ex-l who started it!)
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ex-l

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post27 Apr 2008

ex-l starts everything bad ... God got it wrong about the beginning of the Copper Age too.

How about, Farah Khan's Om Shanti Om?

An enjoyable romp, both a homage to and parody of Bollywood, that might lead an ex-BK to "Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc". Thanks to it I now have an enjoyable memory of the old Om Shanti mantra and no longer feel it is entirely tainted by the BKs appropriation of it.

Omshantiom.jpg
Omshantiom.jpg (230.83 KiB) Viewed 7631 times

ablesan

not sure

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post27 May 2008

Hey Enlightened one,

I just heard about the Brahma Kumaris an hour ago, before that, it never entered my reality. I guess every path is valid if it gets you to where to want to go. That's what creation is, infinite possibilities and infinite probabilities ... of the same one thing ! Enjoy ... if you want to know who the "B" is, let me know;

Q: Hello.

B: And to you, good day.

Q: Right now I am at a crossroads.

B: Oh, very exciting!

Q: Yes it is, as far as my career goes, but also I think in the direction of my whole life right now.

B: Oh, whole life! All right.

Q: Yes. And I know where I want to go, but I am not really sure how to get there.

B: Now, have you heard about the idea before of doing what excites you?

Q: Yes.

B: Have you applied that idea at every given moment in your life?

Q: Probably not every, no; but I am trying to more and more.

B: All right. I'll let you say, "trying" for now. Remember that you do not necessarily need a particular idea that functions as a career that you will do for the rest of your life -- to be able to do at any given moment what excites you the most at that moment, with integrity.

Again, it may be simply an issue of learning to place your trust in a positive frame of reference, as opposed to placing trust in a negative frame of reference. Do remember -- do remember. and we do not mean that this indicates it must take a long time.

But do remember that your society has impregnated all of you with so many beliefs, so many different definitions, that it may simply take a little while before you play all of them out. Bring them all back up to the surface to determine and decide for yourself which of those definitions really represents the life you really prefer. And therefore, which of those definitions you want to keep, and which of those definitions you want to change. It may simply take a little while to do that, because you have so many definitions.

Have things, in your estimation, using your language, been generally improving?

Q: Oh, yes!

B: All right. Does that allow you to feel happy?

Q: Very much so.

B: Does feeling happy allow things in your life to generally improve faster?

Q: Yes.

B: All right. So the happier you are, the faster they will improve -- according to your preference, yes?

Q: Mhmm.

B: So be as happy as you can. That is one of the things each and every one of you can do. And it is not a matter -- it is not a matter of the idea of saying: "Oh well, yes, all well and good to have a nice attitude, but that doesn't really affect the nature of things in my life." Oh, yes it does.

Attitude is everything. It is the main lever, the main dial, the main pointer that takes you down the hallway of events. Because there are
many probable hallways -- of styles of events, of how things in your life might manifest. When your pointer is always happy, then you
always go down the hallways that represent the happiest and most synchronous events.

So the idea of what can you do is, first, to be in that place in the present, to be in that energy state in the present, where you are happy with whom and what you are to begin with. Full self-validation.

Full self-validation. Full self-validation. No doubt, no regret, no guilt in the negative sense. Full integrity; full trust in a positive notion, the positive direction you know you are, the positive idea you know you are.

And also remembering that you don't need me to remind you of these things; that the interaction we are having now, you are perceiving, not because of me, but because of you, because you are creating this interaction in your reality.

So any time you feel you need a pep talk, understand you have the capability of allowing any portion of yourself to give it to you. You do not have to rely on a seemingly exteriorized reflection -- because all you're hearing right now are your own words anyway, not really directly mine.

My vibrational intention is aligned, in that sense, with what you really desire to hear. But remember: your capability of hearing what I am saying comes from the fact that you are actually telling yourself these things, because that's the reality you prefer.

So if you understand that you are capable of hearing these ideas because that's the reality you prefer, then you are capable of manifesting that reality, because it's self-contained to begin with. Understand?

Q: Yes.

B: Does this help you?

Q: Yes, it does.

B: Well, thank you very much.

Q: Thank you.

B: Sharing!


I hope you enjoyed that.

Regards,
ablesan@yahoo.com
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ex-l

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post27 May 2008

Is says, "B" is Bashar. A "multi-dimensional" channelled being who speaks through medium Darryl Anka from "what we perceive as the future". Yes, sure ... ask him who BapDada or the Brahma Kumari God is please and what is his game plan.

guest123

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post05 Sep 2008

Please, if you have the chance, read the following book. I have just finished it and it is really an eye opener!

"Re-member: a Handbook for Human Evolution" by Steve Rother.

I feel that it might help you get a better view of yourself and a better understanding of who you are.

bansy

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post05 Sep 2008

Hi guest123, welcome to the forum.

Could you give a little description or summary of what the book contains? What is meaning of "The Group" and "Lightworker" which the author is part of? Is there some connection to "Kryon" (this was talked about in this forum previously).
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rayoflight

beyond BK

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post25 Mar 2009

Was this last question ever answered? Because I have read many messages from The Group and they have been quite interesting and enlightening. Here is the link if anyone is interested in exploring them: http://lightworker.com/beacons/

However, I was interested in this thread because of its' title. I am wondering what an ex-BK might expect from getting into a "normal" relationship after having been so "detached" from intimacy for so long.

There is a lot of baggage that follows us. It's hard enough to find a functioning relationship when we're not BK's so what is it like post BK life? Would anyone care to share their experience? I must admit I did have a fling with a non-BK once and it was great because I knew I would never fall in love with him. I saw him as a soul even when we were being body conscious :shock:.

I am really talking about true intimacy and honesty between two people. Not just a fling to make sure we're still alive. I used to think that spiritual people had it all together because they were enlightened and wise and would therefore, probably make great friends and even partners.

How many of you are laughing right now?
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joel

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post25 Mar 2009

Hi Ray,

I've been enjoying your posts.
I am wondering what an ex-BK might expect from getting into a "normal" relationship after having been so "detached" from intimacy for so long.

How can there be generalities about something so individual as intimate relationship? There is a kind of work that a living relationship needs to stay dynamic and vital. No special rules for ex-BKs other than 'every relationship is special'. Some lead to a downward negative spiral. One needs the presence of mind to get out of such relationships before they destroy your life.

The Pathwork books (channeled lectured by an entity called 'The Guide' through a Swiss woman, Eva Pierrakos as medium) were quite helpful to me for a time, although those generalities cannot compare to the process of individual discovery that I had working directly with a wise and mature therapist.
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rayoflight

beyond BK

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post25 Mar 2009

joel wrote:How can there be generalities about something so individual as intimate relationship?

Thank you for reminding me. I just, myself, posted about the dangers of generalizing about actors and I think it relates to this topic as well.

Getting intimate with someone is scary whether a person is ex-BK or not.
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enlightened

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post25 Mar 2009

rayoflight wrote:There is a lot of baggage that follows us. It's hard enough to find a functioning relationship when we're not BK's so what is it like post BK life? Would anyone care to share their experience?

Dear Ray of Light

I wish I could answer this one. However, having been a child under 10 when I first came into contact with the BKs, I did not really experience this kind of relationship before. Furthermore, it was even more frustrating when, on the one hand, the BK organisation was talking about having no sex, no partner, detachment, no marriage, no children etc and, on the other hand, I had been abused in more ways than one by a number of BK members (including sexually).

Now, I not only have the frustration of not having lived my childhood, adolescence and adulthood in a natural and free manner, but I have all the BK conditioning, repression as well as the traumas of abuse to deal with.

With regards to even thinking about having a partner/relationship, I don't even know where to start or how much of my history to share with people, even if I do find someone. It's extremely frustrating for me as there are so many things that I still either don't have experience of or I am still unable to do things that most people would have done by now.

Furthermore, as much as I would like to take risks right now, I am in such a state, feeling so so vulnerable and fragile, that I have to think twice about even entering into a relationship. My heart and soul a extremely fragile and there is still so much trauma to work through that where do I start. I so badly need emotional as well as physical support to help me through but am afraid of being hurt even more.

This is my personal dilemma at present.

Regards,
Enlightened
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rayoflight

beyond BK

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post25 Mar 2009

Hi englightened,

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. Your honesty is truly touching and I am certain that you will work through your dilemma with the care that you need, in order to heal in good time.
I am so sorry to hear that you endured abuse and such confusion with the BK's.

I feel that talking things out anonymously is very healing, asking questions and sharing is making progress one step at a time. There is a funny movie with Bill Murray called, "What About Bob?" that comes to mind. He is a man who needs to cure his insecurities so his therapist tells him to take baby steps. So you can only imagine, it being a comedy, how silly it is, but as we know, laughter is good medicine.

There is also another funny movie with Jim Carrey that came out last year called, "The Yes Man" which is about a man who's stuck in his life and attends a New Age conference that teaches him to say "yes" to everything that comes his way. I have tried this once and it does actually open up new avenues and new doorways within the thought process.

Of course, they're comedies, but their messages are important in order to dissolve the old programming that is deeply embedded in the hard-drives of our minds. I remember years ago reading a book called, "Do One Thing Different: Ten Simple Ways to Change Your Life" and it really worked! I first started with simple habits like getting out of bed. I generally get out on the left side, so I got out on the right side. It's a very simple mechanism to reprogram the mind bit by bit.

I know it's one thing to watch a movie and read a book and quite another to put it into action. But I think that if our true desire is to break free, then these messages will start to sink in slowly but surely, until one day we feel ready when someone randomly and casually says, "hey, let's go have dinner together." Our hearts may beat and we may become light-headed for a moment, but then we may say, "Okay. Let's."

I need to take my own advice too, englightened, so I'll write back when my own efforts start to bear fruit!

Wishing you all the best in your recovery,

rayoflight

jann

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Having a partner, getting married & becoming a mum, dad etc

Post26 Mar 2009

As you have learned to repress all that is natural about you, it will all come back to you.
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