I have problem of excessive sexual urges ...!!!

Hello,

I am sorry to bother you all with my problem ...

Well, the things is that I used to be BK for about 3 years and have tried very hard to curb my sexual desires ... I got married afterwards, have a son and was also close with a BK Sister who used to be close with me, but no sex till date ...

Is it possible to be with BK group having natural sex/sexual relations because, in spite of everything, I do get sexual urges and see the same in some of the BK Sisters of the centres, where they flirt with me, knowing fully well I will not do anything to them though some of them would love it ... I think!!! ...

Is it possible to be a BK and then also have close relations with wife/girlfriends [non-bk] in any of the groups as I did not know many ex-BK groups are there ... will anyone guide me ... Please.

cycrod@gmail.com

Is it possible to be a BK and then also have close relations with wife/girlfriends [non-BK] in any of the groups as i did not know many ex-BK groups are there

Dear Brother,
Omshanti. Welcome to the forum. As per Murlis BKs/PBKs cannot have such physical relationships. Baba says that if someone has lustful feelings, then their intellect cannot think/churn about God or Godly knowledge. But if someone continues to visit the centers in spite of having such lustful feelings/relationships, then they can hide it from the other human beings but not from God. My personal view is that it is better to be truthful with oneself before being truthful to God or fellow human beings.

With regards,
OGS,
Arjun

I am sorry to bother you all with my problem ...

No problem at all. I think it's an act of courage to bring up this issue publicly.

I am not sure what you mean by saying "excessive". Excess, is after all, just another way of saying "abundant." I will go on record as saying the feelings of sexual urges I believe and experience to be one with feeling of one's life force. I think it is only excesssive, if it begins to disrupt yours and others' lives, causing direct harm.

Well, the things is that i used to be BK for about 3 years and have tried very hard to curb my sexual desires ... i got married afterwards, have a son and was also close with a BK Sister who used to be close with me, but no sex till date ...

Someone must have had sex for you to have a son, unless you are a very advanced yogi!

Is it possible to be with BK group having natural sex/sexual relations because, in spite of everything, I do get sexual urges and see the same in some of the BK Sisters of the centres, where they flirt with me, knowing fully well i will not do anything to them though some of them would love it ... i think!!! ... Is it possible to be a BK and then also have close relations with wife/girlfriends [non-BK] in any of the groups as i did not know many ex-BK groups are there ... will anyone guide me ... Please.

Is it possible? Yes, in my opinion, if you are willing to keep your private life private, joining BK gatherings while taking responsibility for your own life decisions, as it seems you have.

Good luck to you!

Hello Cycrod,

Welcome to the forum.

It may help you to remember that there are different types of BKs and, as Joel says, one can choose as to the level of commitment you wish to have inside the BK family. As to the Sisters 'flirting' with you, well, there's been plenty written about this in earlier threads, so check out some of the threads from last year or so. It could make interesting reading for you, as well as informing you that we're all still human, even if some wish to pretend they're not.

If you feel that your urges are 'excessive' perhaps you could ask yourself if you are comparing yourself to what you feel a BK should be feeling, or if you're comparing yourself to normal human behaviour and processes, they could be two ends of the same stick.

Keep posting and I for one look forward to your open-hearted honest sharing ...

Get in there mate ... cooeerrr, hehehehe.

Only joking!

Omshanti. Welcome to the forum. As per Murlis BKs/PBKs cannot have such physical relationships. Baba says that if someone has lustful feelings, then their intellect cannot think/churn about God or Godly knowledge. But if someone continues to visit the centers in spite of having such lustful feelings/relationships, then they can hide it from the other human beings but not from God. My personal view is that it is better to be truthful with oneself before being truthful to God or fellow human beings.

Brother thanx for the advice ...

however, i have some doubts which you may please clarify if you can ... PLEASE.

I love Yoga and whenever I do purusharth, after a period of about 3 years, thinking i have achieved the bodilessness required and also have been able to be in soul-conciousness stage when i see everything in orange golden glow and the bodies [in the Yoga classes] bathed in golden glow in a hue and having only a smally diamond shining in the middle of the forehead ... In fact, when i commented my experience to the Sister in charge then she made a big event of it and told everyone in the adjoining centres and the senior Didi's also. I was embarrassed ...

Still i have the same experiences even when i am sexually aroused ... and even though i have sexual urge, then also it is possible to feel the soul consciousness feeling meaning when i feel excited then also afterwards in the Yoga class i have the soul consciousness feeling ... can you or anyone please explain? ... Whether as per Shrimat in BK/PBK this is impediment or assists in your Yoga.

Also please tell me if in PBK sexuality is accepted and relationship is allowed ... etc.

regards

cycrod

I think there is no problem with sexual urge. We should leave the organs of the body. They will definitely perform their work. We should instead change our vision. Sexual urge comes when we look at the body. If we feel we are a soul in the body then the organs will also come into control. If we look at others as Brother souls or Brothers and Sisters then sexual urge will not come.

Sexual urge comes, lustful thought come because we look others as bodies. It is not that sexual urge that has to be stopped. It is a reaction. The cause should be changed. But definitely relationships are not allowed. But one should see does he visit the center for to look at others. Is his nature one of chasing others for vice. If this is the case, one is harming the self and others. In my opinion such a one should not be even allowed to enter. But because sexual urge is something internal, there is no proof whether one has it or not but it will also emerge in looking at the face etc etc. It may be too late if one is recognized only after he has started harassing people. People have reached the ashram for peace and such ones come who does not leave them alone in peace. So indeed one needs be very truthful to the self.

But, Andrey, you don't get what the soul is saying ...

they are having the sort of yogic, soul conscious experiences BKs, even Didi's, dream ... and still this is happening.

Sorry cycrod, avoid the theoretical sticking plasters. I honestly believe these people have no clue when it comes to genuine mystic experiences and many have voiced this. It is all about social control and keeping their business running (applies to BK more than PBK). Yes, that is all it says in the book. Only a tiny few are having your type of experiences ... go with it.

Can say much more now ... more later.

What is there mystical in having sexual urge?

It is said that we should not even look at the one to whom we feel attracated.

ex-l wrote, and I agree with him:

It is all about social control and keeping their business running (applies to BK more than PBK).

Families and children draw all your time and finances. This is why we are instructed to remain single and give everything to the Yagya.
What people do to entertain/seduce a partner? Movies, holidays, Valentine's, flowers, jewellery, perfumes, sexy lingerie,restaurants, condoms, new houses and furniture and sheets.. what a waste!

Song: When A Man Loves A Woman

When a man loves a woman, cannot keep his mind on nothing else
He'll trade the world, for the good thing he's found
If she's bad he cannot see it, she can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend, if he put her down

When a man loves a woman, spend his very last dime
Tryin' to hold on to what he needs, he'd give up all his comfort
Sleep out in the rain, if she said that's the way it ought to be

Well, this man loves a woman, I gave you everything I had
Tryin' to hold on to your precious love, baby, please don't treat me bad

When a man loves a woman, down deep in his soul
She can bring him such misery, if she plays him for a fool
He's the last one to know, lovin' eyes cannot ever see

When a man loves a woman, he can do no wrong
He can never own some other girl, yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels, 'cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world

I agree also with the things Paul and Joel said. It is true that you could check similar topics i.e. "why nobody wants to discuss the biggest test", in the BK. I remember some interesting points there, especially some shared by Pilatus and Howiemac on Oct. 1st on the heart chakra and transforming the energy. As a woman I can say that I appreciate people having a soul conscious vision for each other and I consider "criminal" someone that thinks of me as a sexual object (neither I consider men as such!). He will have to love me first as a soul, then we can negotiate something and maybe I can show some flesh and lift the saree few inches

But there are many other abusive behaviours in the BK that are accepted and encouraged, such as bossiness, slander, belittling, manipulation, etc. They are not excessive, they are rampant! I don't see why the sex related crimes should be considered as the most serious ones in this spiritual community. It seems that many Sisters (and Brothers too!!) have flirtatious behaviours (cockteasers ) or that they divert sexual energy towards bossiness rather than spiritual love. The famous chakra of tyranny!

To feel the soul consciousness feeling, meaning when i feel excited then also afterwards in the Yoga class, i have the soul consciousness feeling ... can you or anyone please explain? ... Whether as per Shrimat in BK/PBK this is impediment or assists in your Yoga.

Also please tell me if in PBK sexuality is accepted and relationship is allowed ... etc.

AS ASKED PREVIOUSLY I WANT ANSWERS TO THIS PART OF THE QUESTION ALSO ...

ALLADIN; i may be having a soul crush on the BK Sister whom i have sexual touching and kissing ... because she is not beautiful and no-one would ever think of kissing her .. i mean she is not attractive and to think this is in India, as i live in India ... can you give any explanation of the soul consciousness feeling also ...

love

I cant give you Shrimat (anyone surprised?) but I can relate what we have learnt through BKs sharing here.

The point I gave to andrey was that time and time again we read of individuals having remarkable spiritual experiences, experience regular BKs do not whilst stepping outside of the BK norm. And when BKs here of those experience, they done know them, understand them, do not have them themselves ... and, of course, non-BKs living no-BK lives are having similarly profound BK mystic experiences. As Joel wrote elsewhere, merely following BK Maryadas alone does not ensure make you "spiritual".

That leads me to suggest that this depth of spiritual experience is NOT bound to the BKWSU and the lifestyle or path proscribe by the senior is more about quite sensible social control to achieve whatever the spirit behind the BKWSU has as their ambition. I wonder cycrod if you could spare us a moment to give us your intuitions or experience of what the guiding spirits behind the BKWSU are?

India is waking up and moving forward. The BKWSU is changing from being a very radical and liberal movement to become a very conservation and reactionary one. Part of the establishment. In that move, I do not think it really matter what is good for the individual or their spiritual path.

I have often tried to ask Indians to talk about their emotional and sexual life (even as celibates) but have never gotten very far. My opinion is that I am always very happy when Indian women are made happy because their lives are really pretty hard and lousy! Its a dangerous mix through to combine that with BK life. Probably, the BKWSU needs to be challenged a little bit over this entire ownership of individuals lives. if they had a perfect record ... and all of God's predictions (Destruction etc) had come true, he never made a mistake about world population and so on. Then I would say fine. Follow him to the letter.

But they have not. So it is great but it is not God. Do what you want and learn from it. Respect places that are not set up for that sort of activity, e.g. like smokers should not smoke in front of non-smokers, but feel free and be intelligent about it. I cannot give you advice but I note here is a very typical situation where the organization really does not know about individual's physical and psychic energies or what to do when they accelerate. Its good that you have chosen someone because of their internal qualities rather than external ones.

The following declaration was signed by highly significant leading Brahma Kumaris; B. K. Jagdish Chander Hassija and B. K. Dadi Prakashmani.

I do not believe that it actually represents the official view of the BKWSU though. In fact, it is utterly contradicted by statements made by both God BapDada and senior Sisters like Janki Kripalani right down to the lowest center-in-charge. It is typical of the stuff they will contradict themselves in public with.

Of what I have seen, life is a much greater mystery than presented by the BKWSU. How are you getting on, friend? Marriage/partnership bonding is an option. I also remember a Murli quote to the effect that it was better to get married than "burn with lust". But, frankly, until they sort out their issues, I would go and explore your own.

Declaration Toward a Global Ethic

Young people must learn at home and in school that sexuality is not a negative, destructive, or exploitative force, but creative and affirmative. Sexuality as a life-affirming shaper of community can only be effective when partners accept the responsibilities of caring for one another's happiness.

The relationship between women and men should be characterized not by patronizing behavior or exploitation, but by love, partnership, and trustworthiness. Human fulfillment is not identical with sexual pleasure. Sexuality should express and reinforce a loving relationship lived by equal partners. Some religious traditions know the ideal of a voluntary renunciation of the full use of sexuality. Voluntary renunciation also can be an expression of identity and meaningful fulfillment.

Sex is not a bad thing. If anyone says they control sex, it is good for him. But if you have no control over sex if it is a BK or PBK. Sorry, I am not being politically correct.

A BK or PBK has many options; if he is a man; he can masturbate, he can have sex with a secret play mate (sex body), or he can have sex with a hooker or he can deny his sexual feeling (this is practically imposible for a man).

Not a lot of people who want to discuss this because this is your weakest part. And i am aware of it.

ShivBaba does not promise anything. All he say is, "well, if you are weak then you are not a good seed". I want the good seeds come and talk in public how strong they are in this area.

Thank you,

jaydeepan

if he is a man; he can

I am not sure what a "sex body" is ... do you man a girlfriend, lover or a blow-up plastic doll? I am also not sure why a woman cannot avail herself of the equivalent practises! A little sexist perhaps? Do women not have stirrings too? The rishis of old say women have 7 times stronger feelings.

Can you be specific about what you are referring to here? Are you suggesting that there is not quite so much celibacy going on in the BKWSU than they would like to suggest is? I am not being prurient here. If this is another disaster zone, then newcomers should know so as not to harbour unreasonable expectations and demands upon themselves.

Yes, I think it need more honest discussion too. Thank you.