I do not really know what is happening to you Sakaash but I imagine it could be related to what you were going through when you introduced yourself on the Forum a few months ago. Let me just share something that helped me a lot to steer my boat through the fog.
Baba often says in the Murlis that it is better to die than to renounce one's religion. Arjun or other Hindi speaking can correct me if I am wrong but I think that the word religion is a poor translation of the word Dharma, which in this context I understand more as being your principles or your conscience, your inner sense of Truth.
Baba also said (I hope I am not making this one up and that others remember it too) that the worst sin is to kill or suppress our conscience (big news for those who thought the biggest sin was lust!).
This is what my instinct was telling me anyway and this is what I did to the best of my capacity, and I never regretted it even if it otherwise meant seemingly going against Shrimat.
I have no problem accepting that someone else's or everyone else's conscience may feel differently about something but I have to live up to my own. It is the only way I can feel at peace.
It took me a while to sort out within my feelings what was genuinely from my conscience and what was from external influences but I got better at it with time. Really, I cannot remember a single instance when my instinct have deceived me since I adopted the BK life but I used to be very hesitant and to doubt myself a lot. Experience has shown me again and again that my sense of Truth is good and I have now gained a lot of confidence in my sense of right and wrong.
The second biggest sin in my opinion is guilt consciousness. Sorry! No Murli point to back this up!
... just my experience.