Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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primal.logic

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Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

Sister Jayanti,

As you know BK Esther committed suicide by hanging herself on January 18th. Have you got any idea how much a person must be suffering to take a piece of rope, place that noose around their neck, and then deliberately kill themselves?

No doubt you have endeavoured to absolved yourself and the BKWSU of any responsibility. What excuse did you use? Mental problems? And do you continue to absolve yourself of concern by blaming her karma? We are wondering when you are going to show any sign of caring for those to whom you lecture on the meaning of God's love. We are wondering when you are going to develop some concern for those over whom you intend to rule from your Golden Aged Throne.

Her tragic and no doubt traumatic death is a clear example of your failure to understand what is happening to the people in your own organisation. This is a glaring example of the need for a duty of care policy – something you have made every effort to avoid beyond reluctant exercises like the so-called "Global Functioning" – but Esther has demonstrated what a belated and useless exercise that has been. It is just a talkfest – you simply have no idea how to PRACTISE duty of care because you don’t care.

The very reason anyone becomes a BK is because they believe they have found the answer to their problems – they believe that they are impure and that is the reason they have these problems in their life. But the inescapable fact is that they have problems and those problems carry a great deal of emotional weight. So, to then turn around and say that Esther killed herself because she had problems, as if she were the exception, is ludicrous.

Brahmins, by default, have a history of emotional dysfunction – it is the very reason they became BKs! THAT IS WHY DUTY OF CARE IS SO IMPORTANT. You simply have to have a system in place that provides support to people like Esther so that they can be counselled and helped – and this is a specialised area that requires special skills. It is clearly a set of skills that you don’t have.

The fundamental issue is that a BK has been encouraged to detach from the lokik world including friends and family, and so when things go wrong who do they turn to? You have taught them to abandon all forms of support and thereby make them dependent on you, but then fail completely to fulfil the obligations that come with that.

When will you recognise the trauma that is inherent to falling apart as a BK? When will you overcome your reductionist, convenient position of “karma, drama, fortune” and practise what you preach – compassion?

Will you continue to not care when the next suicide or breakdown occurs? Will you address the issue of the Sister in Spain who had a mental breakdown and was then prevented from seeing her family? Or Lee James who has been forced into therapy but has still been left responsible for the Brisbane centre? When will you get over yourself and recognise that there are real people with real problems and that the principle obstacle to helping them is you!

The lives and the well being of every BK are at stake. This is bigger than you – do us all a favour and just get out of the way. Let people who care and are capable take responsibility. There are many far better people than you in the Brahma Kumaris. They can make a meaningful difference where you and your staggering self righteousness have proven to be nothing but an obstacle.
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Terry

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

I am shaken by this news. I did not know Esther, but I understand the degree of pain that drives someone to suicide.

Anyone who reads this - if you are feeling despair or pain or alienation, if you feel you are failing - you are wrong, it's not you failing. These feelings are a natural warning system - the warning system is working.

Your heart is asking you to change direction. Do not follow that feeling over the cliff. You are as precious as any one.

The love, help and support is there. Just let someone know.

Please please please get in touch with someone, anyone. Whether someone from these pages, or your family, an old school friend - or call directory assistance and ask for a help line - they are there.

Don't wait for it to get so bad that you think death is the only option. It takes less courage to ask for help than you think. No one will think less of you. We all need someone to lean on sometime.
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tete

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

Depression and suicide for ex-BKs
There are cases where ex-Raja Yogis, and those closest to them, have attempted or committed suicide. If you, or someone you know, are experiencing suicidal thoughts, severe mood swings or depression ; seek professional help now.

Below are some of the information listed in the Encyclopedia section (above link) of this website under topics: Depression and suicide

It is most tragic to hear of the loss of BK Sister Esther and it has been the hope of many that there be some Duty of Care in place for those seeking help and in need of help. Much of the work that goes on on this site is not viewed to often as it is in the above links/resources: Encyclopedia - Links.

Those in BLUE (from the Header) offer resources for those in need to a variety of groups/orgs that may be able to help, given that there is no present EXIT strategy from the BKWSU nor any Duty of Care in place. You can also go to: BKWSUwatch: Suicide - a Tragic Outcome and xBKinfo Links.

and view the resources and stories there and the archived classic posts. You are not alone, there are people out here that care and have given countless hours, months and years so that you don't find yourself alone and who continue to volunteer to help those in need by posting, and archiving information and sharing their struggles and their stories of surviving.
RIP - Dedicated to, and in memory of, ex-BKs Ranjana Patel and her Brother Sharad, Maria Sloane and others, who took their own lives before we found them or they found us.
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Mr Green

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

Very sad news, I give my good wishes to her family.
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ex-l

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

For those non-BKs reading this who do not realise the significance, January 18th is called "Baba's Day" and is the biggest date in the Brahma-kumari calendar. The anniversary date of Lekhraj Kirpalani's death ... and his alleged "perfect" as they would have it *. It is generally set aside as a holiday for special celebrations, meditations and spiritualist food offerings etc.

(* n.b. others claim the heart attack that killed Lekhraj Kirpalani was actually caused by Ramesh Shah and others founding the Trust to care control of the movement's financial and property assets ... assets which were to be given to the Indian government if Destruction, or the End of the World, did NOT happen in 1976 as he had predicted it would).

For a BK, or newly exited BK to have hanged themselves on this day is deeply significant. As much of a marker of failure in the BKWSU "culture of care" as I can imagine and it brings our work here back into focus. The BKWSU leadership refusing the necessity of accepting a legal "duty of care" towards its followers.

If it finally turns out that Destruction, the Golden Age and all the rest is very well the rubbish most of us have come to terms with accepting it is ... and re-written, faked and revised as we KNOW it has been ... then, in my opinion, deaths like these are little short of needless murders on the hands on the mentally ill leaders.

I'd like to ask folks to use their contacts, look into this and find out the circumstance that led to it. I see she is listed as a Values Education specialist with the BKWSU LVEP front (Hong Kong/China and UK) and with a Derby, England connection, perhaps someone can find out some more details urgently please.
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enlightened

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

My condolences to Esther's family ... It's very sad indeed. What was her full name and in which country/city did this happen?

I feel even sadder because I've been having suicidal thoughts myself a while ago and continue to do so from time to time. I don't really feel I have any support from anyone. I am having to find ways of hanging in there but my coping mechanisms for pain are extremely low at times.

I think I'll get through somehow but it can be quite scary at times when you imagine the worst.

For someone suffering from depression during or after exiting a sect like the Brahma Kumaris, and for someone who is undergoing therapy to try and undo the damage, it is extremely challenging because the pain that goes with it can sometimes be overwhelming. As a human, you can only cope with so much pain at any given time and this is why, some resort to taking their lives as it seems like the only option especially when there is no one to support them through these challenging times.

Believe you and me, some days are extremely hard, but something or someone is keeping my spark alive.

Yours
Enlightened :shock:
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ratna

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

Dear everyone,

My condolences to Sister Esther.

No matter what cause of death, accident, murder, suicide, natural death; at some point the soul departs the body.

The nature of questioning a suicide belongs to the inquirer, who wonders on the level of the senses and mental state this suicide may have happened.
The real question should be actually about what the destiny is for such soul: re-incarnation? Liberation? Dwelling in Earthly realms, Hellish realms or Heavenly realms? Coming back in Golden Age is a choice and not mandatory: you can either stay spiritual or obtain a new material body and continue the fall to impurity and regaining purity back through salvation and self-realization.

Meditating and dealings with the self-realization is just not enough. Knowing your true destination is the real thing.
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enlightened

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

I would like to dedicate these songs to Esther wherever her soul may be! May you rest in peace.





Love, peace and light
Enlightened
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joel

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

Hi Ratna,

I think that the family and friends of BK Esther will formulate their own questions and meaning. When a person dies, everyone asks their own questions. There is no one "real thing." All of life is real and holy.

You write as tho you know your true destination. Congratulations, I am happy for you.
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tom

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

Ratna wrote:The real question should be actually about what the destiny is for such soul: re-incarnation? Liberation? Dwelling in Earthly realms, hellish realms or heavenly realms? Coming back in Golden Age is a choice and not mandatory: you can either stay spiritual or obtain a new material body and continue the fall to impurity and regaining purity back through salvation and self-realization. Meditating and dealings with the self-realization is just not enough. Knowing your true destination is the real thing.

This is the most creepy and horrifying condolence message I have ever seen after a tragic death.

Written in typical BK arrogance and dominance, exaggerated, judgmental without any small piece of empathy and sympathy for the pain departed one has suffered and for her mourning family and friends.

Ratna, you are drowning in your unreal imaginary hellish realms, Golden Age illusions and wrong perceptions of impurity and, of course, your fata morgana of "true destination" whatever it is.

My advice, please give your sermon somewhere where other zombies like you from the BK fabrication are ready to listen to you. Here you are in the wrong place.
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jann

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

Well Ratna, this soul Esther was officiously driven by your divine family who consider themselves to be Angels. But yet calling their angels impure. You should be ashamed of yourself! But your BK Baba will be proud of you! Well done. May Dharamraj cut off your head! ... Oops, you don't have one.
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Mr Green

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

I will just echo Jan in saying, Ratna, you should be ashamed.
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enlightened

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post08 Mar 2009

This link may/may not answer the question on someone taking their life. It can be debatable;

What do YOU believe happens to someone if they commit suicide?

enlightened
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Terry

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post09 Mar 2009

jannisder wrote:Well Ratna ... You should be ashamed of yourself! May Dharamraj cut of your head! ... Oops, you don't have one.

This may be a little off topic (in fact, I have pasted it over to Hullo from Terry 9th March).
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tom

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Re: Another BK suicide - open letter to Jayanti

Post09 Mar 2009

God's love and mercy is for all of us beyond limits.

Let Esther's soul rest in peace in God's love.

For Esther from Kahlil Gibran
Kahlil Gibran wrote:Oftentimes have I heard you speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of you, but a stranger unto you and an intruder upon your world.
But I say that even as the holy and the righteous cannot rise beyond the highest which is in each one of you,
So the wicked and the weak cannot fall lower than the lowest which is in you also.
And as a single leaf turns not yellow but with the silent knowledge of the whole tree,
So the wrong-doer cannot do wrong without the hidden will of you all.
Like a procession you walk together towards your god-self.
You are the way and the wayfarers.
And when one of you falls down he falls for those behind him, a caution against the stumbling stone.
Ay, and he falls for those ahead of him, who though faster and surer of foot, yet removed not the stumbling stone.
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