07 Nov 2009
Hi, Chai Chai.
Truly welcome, and yes, sorry to hear that. Blessings to you for a quick recovery. Possibly healing from disappointments that have come from lokik fair-weather friends, is easier than overcoming the hurt inflicted on us by other BKs.
Of course, they will have many answers ready, to make you feel that you are the one to be blamed or despised, even when you are the victim. For example, cruelty, cynicism and sadism, find their justifications in the elevated teachings that go under the names of: "not taking sorrow". So once again, it is our mistake if we receive pain from an abuser.
Drama, no one did anything wrong, really. It was all accurate and meant to be. In fact, it was a lesson. Be grateful to the teacher for it! Karma, you had with that person, be happy that at last you paid your bill and do not complain, react or take the law in your hands! Etc ...
It is all partly true, because we have to remain light and go beyond, move on, it is a healthy attitude. What puzzles me is that often, spiritual teachings/slogans are used in order to cover-up wrongdoings that in the normal (Shudra's) society are considered unacceptable.
Anyway, you have not been the first one, neither will you be the last. You, and all of us have been taught not to have expectations but we wanted to have the positive imagination of decent behaviour, including mutual respect and compassion to start with, from those future angels/deities!
In hindsight, what can we expect, when we bump into opportunistic folks? I know it's hard to accept that the BKWSO is such, and so are many of its members, even the most magnanimous are taught not to give and rather "mind your own biz". Do not give personal attention to anyone in need for it and instead persuaded to spend all of their forces for the sect. Baba's task and bla, bla ...
But they are users, and this is one of the characteristics that many "contact souls" as well as pukka BKs eventually notice and becomes a reason for leaving with a bad taste in the mouth!
Often the moment someone becomes a sister in charge, her/his behaviour gains the right of not being liable of being questioned. Everything is done and received from their part in the name of God. Help, donations, devotion and dedication, humility, are taken for granted. You have to give, be proud of it , and do not ask for anything in return.
Maybe to you and to many of us, it doesn't sound fair, but try and voice your feeling, and you will get the aggravation of criticism , and be labeled as a weak person, full of attachment, one who leans on human beings, unable to survive and take support just from God.
Oh, well. We all know it by heart, if this can console you!!!