BK Ruins Family Life

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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DrTruth

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BK Ruins Family Life

Post11 Nov 2012

Ever since some members of my family have started going to BK.
There is constant fighting and unrest in the household.

How can one deal with this?

My family was at peace before BK entered our lives. I would like to restore that.
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ex.brahma

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post11 Nov 2012

Posting your topic so early in the morning of Sunday, gives an indication about the magnitute of your domestic problem and the pain you are going through!

Let me tell you, this is a common problem in each and every home contaminated by "BK viruses ", wholly or partially.

Get your children out of this destructive cult immediately, before it is too late. The longer you wait the more complex the problem becomes. If your children are minors may be you could seek local authorities or even police help to deal with the BK center, but do not let this problem drag on and on.
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ex-l

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post11 Nov 2012

I am very sorry to hear of your problems, DrTruth, and have to agree with ex-brahma. Actually, I would go further. If the problem does not resolve itself quickly, and family life return to normality, I would make it very clear to the individuals that it is either their real family or the BKs and if they chose the BKs, they will get no support whatsoever until they leave.

Sadly, I can also confirm that based on original documents going back to the 1930s and 1940s, the Brahma Kumaris have been accused of precisely the same thing all over the world. And, despite all their claims that everything they do is for "free" money, and if they can get their hands on it property, generally becomes real issue as followers are encouraged to surrender their man, tan and dhan (mind, body and wealth) to the organization in order to earn a high status in the heaven on earth they believe is going to follow the End of the World.

If your family members have been hooked by the BKs and caught in the rush of what the BKs call "The Honeymoon Period", it can be as difficult as dealing with a drug addict. Worse than that, the Brahma Kumaris will be giving them advice behind the scenes on how to separate and divide the family.

Not being allowed to have children of their own, the Brahma Kumaris have evolved to become parasites on other families.

If you can tell us a little more about your situation, perhaps we can help you more. One important issue to remind them is "according The Knowledge ... Baba says BK RajYoga is the householder path" and they should be peaceful and fulfil their family responsibilities first. "Baba" being their word for their god spirit or guru.

We may be able to help you with quotes from their scriptures to support you.

Let us know how things are going on. Thank you.
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kumar53

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post20 Jan 2013

We should take justified decision on it, whether BKs destroying home or sprituals/religion in general when aggressively followed? History do suggest that people left their home to do tapasya or to follow rishi munis. Bairaag is the word.
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DrTruth

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post30 Apr 2014

It's been about two years now since my last post.

I thought I would update all on what is going in my family life.

BK has succeeded in getting money from my family members. I think the amount is a couple thousand dollars.

Also, even though BK is supposed to help, I do not see that.

In fact yelling and fighting has increased in the house.

BK makes people spend time driving to their retreats and then for the rest of the week the person is tired and has no energy.

I've been a victim of verbal abuse almost every weekend now because of BK. Because BK entices my family to drive 180 miles very often. If family members refuse to come, BK spiritual leaders get even by playing mind games. By giving the silent treatment or omitting them from group e-mails.

Furthermore, I think older people are more victimized by BK. Older people are more lonely and desperate for human companionship. Younger people these days are content pressing buttons on their iPhone or Android.
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ex-l

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post30 Apr 2014

I am sorry to hear of your ongoing problems, DrTruth.

Sadly, what you are describing is widely typical of BK adherents and the BKWSU. They encourage a sort of mania in many individuals, without any 'checks and balance', and then once they are in that state, exploit them for free labor or money.

Take care to protect any family property from them, your BK family member, because if the BKs can get their hands on it, then they will.

You raise a very good point that we have not discussed before, their targeting of older people, e.g. the retired or women whose children have grown up. They have too much time, not enough to do, probably have more traditional religious values the BKs can exploit ... and, of course, are more likely to die sooner and leave the BKWSU something.

Am I being too cynical? I think not. Communal society has broken down to the "nuclear family" model, it leaves old people neglected and purposeless. The BKs offer them some kind of purpose, even if it is just "earning millions" by rolling chapattis and cleaning the centres.

The BKs want their money and labor but are not willing to shoulder their costs, i.e. look after them. Hence the costs are pushed back onto their families who get little out of it but grief like you are documenting. It becomes like an addiction for the individual.

The BK, even if they are a wife or a mother, is then encouraged to "die alive" and think of their real family as enemies.

Apologists will say, "this is not the way it is meant to be" and will present all sorts of facades ... but time and time again, the story we hear is your story.
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Tanya

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post30 Apr 2014

If this organization's real aim is to establish 'peace in the world', it is doing just the opposite by separating members of a family & creating so much disturbance and discord between them.

Since "charity begins at home", they should ideally be encouraging people to first take care of their respective households and maintain a peaceful atmosphere there, rather than pulling them to the Centres. It is so disappointing to see that BK members start seeing all non-BKs (including their own non BK family members) as 'impure' and 'sinful' souls while simultaneously saying that they are also children of "God". I think it's always better to use your own intellect and decide where to draw a line, like I used mine and decided that I will never ever 'abandon' my ageing parents and family for the BKs.

To be a good human being, and to promote world peace, it is Not necessary to separate from your family members and loved ones. I don't think any of the Murlis talk about separating yourself from your family, making your family members unhappy and then going out to spread Happiness in the world.

Kindly correct me if I am wrong. Thank you.
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ex-l

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post30 Apr 2014

You're basically or sort of right ... the only problem being the BKs have become expert as making the right noises (saying anything but not necessarily following through), so "shoulds" don't count. And you would certainly be right if what you are saying is that they have deviated from the original teachings ... of the mid period when Lekhraj Kirpalani was still alive ... which said stuff like, "don't keep pictures of me, don't buy property, stay in the household and make it a heaven" and so on. It's surprising how much of BKism is really not from the teachings.

This is where the PBKs are critical of the BKs have the idea that the movement has been taken over by a metaphorically "Islamist" clique.

However, in my own experience, and listening to the experiences of many others, the senior - or even worse local unaccountable center-in-charges - will encourage all sorts of deviant activities separating individuals from their partners or family, or using them.

The context still remains the same though ... it's the end of the world, time to earn your fortune, therefore anyone and anything or any moral is dispensable. I suppose one day they might be forced to admit Destruction and the Golden Age really is not going to happen and it was all a lot of nonsense ... and give up, mellow out, or turn their cult into a middle class, New Age-y retreat business, which is what they are already doing it seems.

Actually, they should already be past that point of accepting. It is all nonsense because; Destruction should have happened, Krishna should have been born, and the construction work for the Golden Age should be in full swing by now. At the very worst, we might have to wait until 2036 for them to absolutely give up.

But they won't. Not as long as the money is coming in. Ethically, they will have no problem in changing the religion yet again. They have no ethics when it comes to dealing with "enemies" like family members. Amongst the originals there was the mentality that anyone with family problems were weak and still attached and as such could be thrown back to their "lokiks" if they were too much trouble.
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Pink Panther

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post01 May 2014

It is too easy for a BK teacher or center-in-charge to say ”Look after your family and household properly and follow Sri Mat”. They put the onus on the follower to add extra hours in the morning on top of their already busy lives. Its easy enough, for a while. Then fatigue sets in.

They'll then be advised to remember Baba more, ask for Baba’s help. they become dependant on whatever mental disciplines they can muster to tell themselves, just keep on at it, it’ll get better. They are told the main thing is their "spiritual effort", i.e. adherence and contribution to the BK tribe to create their eternal fortune. If any difficulty they must be doing something wrong, forgetting something…. their fault, because a true yogi is tireless, finds things effortless, an angel floating above blah blah.

If it comes down to a choice, they will be told to make their own decision - but - the implication is clear, they are compromising their eternal fortune if they prioritise lokik (worldly - biological) family over alokik (non-wordly, ”spiritual”) family.

The exception to this is where compromising the family structure may compromise financial donations or other such resources, in which case they will be told its OK to only come once a week, just remember Baba when you have time, read Murli when you have time - if you cannot create your fortune through ”service” you can do it by buying indulgences .. monetary donations to clear your apparently bad karma that has put you in this situation of ”family burden” - unlike those dedicated spinsters (now there’s a word with a built-in pun) who obviously have such good karma to be able to be full-time dedicated to advising others about things they have little experience of ...
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Tanya

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post09 May 2014

kumar53 wrote:We should take justified decision on it, whether BKs destroying home or sprituals/religion in general when aggressively followed? History do suggest that people left their home to do tapasya or to follow rishi munis.

Yeah, people did leave their homes to do 'tapasya' and adopted the path of 'renunciation' but such people led a very austere and ascetic life while setting aside all their comforts, ambitions and desires...Some sensible people even made sure to first perform their obligatory duties towards their parents, family, kids and the society before withdrawing themselves from the 'material' life. It wasn't like they left their immediate family in the name of renunciation and went on to support another one (read BK centre) or enjoyed and had the time of their life during 'Spiritual retreats'.

Another approach to 'Vairagya' is that the person does lead an active life but does not participate in it for 'selfish' reasons. He goes by a name but is not attached to it and does not believe that it represents him truly. He lives in the present but doesn't make 'planned efforts' to create his future, neither works for a fixed goal nor makes efforts to promote his ideology because he is not even attached to any 'concept'.

It's not very hard to determine how close the BKs are to - simplicity, austerity, 'tapasya' and attachment(s).
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ex-l

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post09 May 2014

Tanya wrote:It's not very hard to determine how close the BKs are to - simplicity, austerity, 'tapasya' and attachment(s).

Woo ... big statement.

It's also worth remembering that in the beginning, when Lekhraj Kirpalani still had lots of money and was sucking up all the properties, jewellery and money of his followers, the BKs lived lives of unbelievable luxuries ... by Indian standards. They had private cars, buses, lived in a mansion with servants, did not have to work, were clothed and fed in comfort and did little else but enjoy themselves.

It was only after the money and supporters ran dry that they started to adopt Gandhian symbols of renunciation, e.g. even the white sari was not original to them.

And now they are just working their way back to their riches ... we read about business class air travel, luxury retreats, 5 Star hotels, Rolls Royce and Mercedes cars and, of course, Palladian mansions.

Their arrogance, dishonesty and audacity is astonishing ... In the UK, they claim to run a charity which was set up to "alleviate poverty".

Whose "poverty"? Their own, one has to presume.

How much poverty has the BKWSU alleviated even in the poor country in the world?
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Tanya

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post09 May 2014

But what about the 'Beggary phase' they claim to have gone through ? Can you throw some light on that too because I don't know much about it ?
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Pink Panther

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post09 May 2014

There are two aspects to the ”beggary” period as they call it.

1. It is simply when they ran out of money because they expected destruction to happen at any time during WW2, then after the partition of India & Pakistan, they made no effort to save or utilise assets for the future.

2. All of India went through incredible poverty and hardship in WW2 and post war *, and that lasted well into the 1960s. These days India is more synonymous with call centres, bollywood and ashrams. In the 1950s and 60s, it was synonymous with poverty & starvation more than anything else.

The BKs make it sound like it was only them that suffered - it’s always only about them.

* A beautiful film by the Bengali filmmaker Satyajit Ray - ”Distant Thunder” - is an allegorical tale of the impoverishment of India by the colonial war effort which saw food shortages due to the Empire commandeering the bulk of the rice crop etc - he does this by showing the effect on one small village, with occasional references to distant geo-political events - - hence the title. ”Singapore? Is that near Chandrapur?"
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ex-l

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post09 May 2014

Yes, it's really is always about them. They absolutely believed *they*, and the conflicts they were having with their tiny community, were the cause of WWII and, as Pink Panther states, the End of the World was going to be WWII and 1950.

After it failed, they disappeared from the public's eye ... at which one has to presume any normal person would feel humiliated ... and re-invented themselves. Part of the re-invention was the inclusion or revelation of God Shiva Baba somewhere around 1956 ... although if you ask any BK alive now, they will swear blind it was 1936.

The old documents that prove this is not true are in Library section.

There's another story to the much inflated Beggary Period and move to Abu and that is that Lekhraj Kirpalani was promised money by Didi Manmohini's uncle. He was of the Watumull clan after which Global Hospital is named. The deal was, if the Om Mandli were to move from Pakisthan for the sake of the women's safety, he would give them money. However, the plan was really to pull the rug from under their feet and drive the last of them back to their families and away from Lekhraj Kirpalani. The Om Mandli moved but the money was not forthcoming leading to "the Beggary Period". Many did leave, others could not, one can only ask at what was really going through Kirpalani's mind.

It's said the number of BKs dropped to around 70, still a considerable amount to feed, dress and keep warm in winter, but Lekhraj Kirpalani also had a wealthy female admirer ... they were all a bit infatuated by him, their Krishna ... who was financially supporting their community. Of course, that goes entirely against what they used to teach of not accepting donations from non-BKs, which we could also discuss ... but it's hard to get to facts with them.

Others have even claimed Lekhraj Kirpalani did not run out of money but just pretended to do in order to cut the numbers down. "Shaking The Tree", as they call it. I don't know.

The BKs portray it as if it was some wondrous hardship that they had to go through to test their faith etc ... on the other hand, they could have just gotten jobs and done work like the rest of us. Some left and did, and sent money back. Eventually the likes of Janki Kirpalani were sent out to start ashrams in India and collect donations.

No big deal, they were just tapping into Hindu religious tendencies, and tapping into the wallets of their families/Sindi diaspora.

Just what they did with all their time during this period is a bit of a mystery ... only clues remains from the old books. It certainly was not "Mother Theresa" like stuff. They kept to themselves, had picnics, went on trips ... carried on the big holiday as far as I can see.

There are elements of the whole story that just don't add up. For example, they claim they were being prepared and purified by god and that one can only be purified by the remembrance of God Shiva Baba ... but there was no God Shiva Baba until after 1956 ... so who and what were they remember? (The answer is, at best they were just infatuated with Lekhraj Kirpalani who they considered "greater than god", Krishna etc ... at worst they were just hanging around as they had no other options).

They claim it was from the early 1950s and continuing for around 10 years, so that would date it from leaving the Sind.
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arvind.giri

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Re: BK Ruins Family Life

Post26 May 2014

DrTruth. what exactly is the reason for conflict ?
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