Anonymous

It strikes me that few people on this forum (which I have so far seen of) are present recognizable with their own name on this forum. I see a number of them ex-BK and still wish to remain anonymous.

Could you tell me why you choose?

With love, Wonieka

It's just the way the internet is ... who joins an internet forum using their real name?

Have you never had a nickname in real life?

In my case, I joined the previous ex-BK forum many years ago with the name 'ex-london', because I was in the London center, and then I shortened it down to to 'ex-l' so it was less to type in when I logged in.

I have/had no desire to start a personality cult.

Thank you for your responses. I regret that no more participants have to answer my question. So I will explain why I have chosen to be present with my full name on this forum.

The reason I chose to use my full name on this forum and also on other places on the internet is that I want to be completely transparent in who I am and what I do. I fully support everything I write and say.

A long time I have felt a 'nobody', I was not someone who has a vision and a view. At the BK, I was told that we wore white so that, as it were, we overlapped against the wallpaper. You were interchangeable and anonymous. On the one hand, this felt safe because the organization was responsible; on the other hand, it felt to me as if I therefore had no right to exist. It's been quite a process to change from a 'nobody' to a 'someone’, and I see many people struggle with it. I think it is liberating that I can live fully who I am, that I feel free to express that what lives in me. That I no longer have to hide, have to feel guilty or ashamed for who I am.

It is precisely because many people are damaged since they thought that they could trust others and because they were ashamed of it, I find it important to be open and to show me vulnerable. I have several times in my life lost everything and therefore have nothing to lose, only win. I just want to live who I am. Visible. With an open and warm heart.

With love, Wonieka

The forum has been quiet recently, and it's a busy time of year. People have work, celebrate, and go to their families.

In the beginning, the BKs were somewhat frustrated or even infuriated by who was involved or contributing with this forum. Indeed, one started legal action against it to crack it open in the hope to sue us (it turned out they had a lot to be frightened of coming out). There was another ex-BK forum before this, which were were told was shut down by under threat or coercion.

Actually, it was a lot less militant and challenging than this one has been. You would have like it. It was more philosophical. The 'read only' archive of it is, here.

The fact that people chose nicknames, as is the habit on social media, upset the BKs, and some of them wanted to use it as an excuse to ignore the issues we raised. In my opinions, those that did were typical of the vanity or caste snobbery that still exists within the BKWSU. A "free press" in which voices of dissent were heard, or dirty sheets being laundered in public, was obviously something they were not used to. As you know, the BKWSU public image was highly controlled and it is a very controlled environment, in my opinion.

In the beginning, there was no speciality to the nicknames people chose. I do not think anyone was consciously being "anonymous". It was just a bit of fun. Some used their own name, others did not.

Later on, as our impact grew, individuals joined who were still part of the BKWSU but reviewing their situation, or were in a relationship with a BK, or had family in the BKWSU. I can think of one, for example, that was still trapped renting accommodation from BKs who ran their center.

Under such circumstances, I think the need or desire for anonymity is fair and valid. People literally did not know who they were any more and could not afford to rock the boat. Of course, active BKs were following the forum and the BKWSU leaders were speculating, often wrongly, who was behind it. Many of those BKs welcomed the creation of an open forum, and its small effect is still being had on the BKWSU.

As I said, it is each one's right to decide whether they want to be anonymous or not, and I respect your decision. In the past, we have protected such individuals' anonymity when required as it allows individuals some degree of privacy on a public forum, where they can work through issues as if it was therapy, others learning from it. Not everyone can afford to have the Brahma Kumaris on their record.

Some people have suggested or discussed "going public" with me ... I guess I am the opposite from you. I never wanted personal recognition, it was not about 'me', what was important were the ideas, the values, the work (e.g. our impact on the revision of the BKWSU history). Unfortunately, despite the teachings not all BKs were quite so enlightened and wanted to personalise it. I found that quite limited from a spiritual point of view.

Thanks for your detailed answer. A number of reasons, I myself conceived. Eg. that you prefer to remain anonymous because of your work. But even if it's only recently that you stepped out of the PA, or if someone you know a BK is.

With love, Wonieka