- Posts: 29
- Joined: 28 Dec 2012
- Location: The Netherlands
Back of the bike with my mother, I seem to have loudly asked, "Mommy, does God exist?". In retrospect, I think I knew the answer as a toddler. To the religion classes at public elementary school I didn’t want. At the age of 10 I was sure that there are different religions, but there is only one God.
In my teens I wanted to know why people went to church and as so many people believed in God, then He surely had to exist. Then there had to be something. I had friends who were raised a Christian and who I felt sincere in their faith. On my own I cycled on Sunday to several churches in the neighbourhood. I did not feel welcome and the faith remained far from me standing.
In my student years I was taken by a friend to the Brahma Kumaris, where I did the introductory course and then also did follow some lessons. I had considerably lost myself, already had a few relationships and loose boyfriends and faced a choice at that moment. During the inter-rail holiday with a boyfriend, I ended up to the Greek sea, with whiplash in my neck, desperately cried out to God. Two months later, when I could not go on with that friend I took my decision: God, if this is not working, so I can now live celibate.
More than eight years I have followed the path of the Brahma Kumaris. Every day meditation, every day working with God to remember and to investigate myself. Although I had sometimes beautiful meditation experiences, I didn’t found God. I got stuck on the organizational structures and the lack of freedom that I experienced there. Precisely because I was thinking maybe I could found God only at the Brahma Kumaris and because I didn’t succeed, I felt a deep pain in my final decision to continue my path alone.
For years I have parked all the ideas of the Brahma Kumaris and I started looking for myself including through Osho meditations, emotional bodywork and intuitive development. Occasionally God came over on the sideline, but I was not really into it. The long process of transformation and healing resulted at one point to the observation that no old pain was present and that I had my personality at my disposal in freedom. Although it seems that how I live an enlightened life differs from the majority of those who call themselves Enlightened, I could find no better word for.
Now, a few years after the observation that I had achieved complete inner freedom, to me God came back in the picture, with the questions whom it is and why I would keep busy with God. To my surprise, the founder of the Brahma Kumaris, Brahma Baba, came to me during a meditation, which the eight years Brahma Kumaris came to stand for me in another perspective, and I went better understand what that period has means to me.
All answers I still have not and maybe that will come in the future. But I think I know what it's like to experience God and what that feels like. I can not only tell you. There are no words to indicate. You could maybe join me in meditation, as I recently did a toddler. Actually it is very easy to experience God, only there is too much come between. You yourself came between with everything that you've become unfree. Your images, ideas and beliefs about God have come to be between. And sometimes it's simply too crowded in your head. Then it asks you to make space inside to allow God and to allow the experience.
In life, live here on earth with the people and between people it is very nice to me to connect with God, as a source of love and silence. It is my wish to make it also possible for you to experience God and to express in your life and your personality.
Wonieka A. Meuter
I made an English translation for this blog. I am not very well in English, so excuse for the insufficient translation.
I published this article d.d. 22-2-2012 at http://ontwikkelennaarheelzijn.wordpress.com
In my teens I wanted to know why people went to church and as so many people believed in God, then He surely had to exist. Then there had to be something. I had friends who were raised a Christian and who I felt sincere in their faith. On my own I cycled on Sunday to several churches in the neighbourhood. I did not feel welcome and the faith remained far from me standing.
In my student years I was taken by a friend to the Brahma Kumaris, where I did the introductory course and then also did follow some lessons. I had considerably lost myself, already had a few relationships and loose boyfriends and faced a choice at that moment. During the inter-rail holiday with a boyfriend, I ended up to the Greek sea, with whiplash in my neck, desperately cried out to God. Two months later, when I could not go on with that friend I took my decision: God, if this is not working, so I can now live celibate.
More than eight years I have followed the path of the Brahma Kumaris. Every day meditation, every day working with God to remember and to investigate myself. Although I had sometimes beautiful meditation experiences, I didn’t found God. I got stuck on the organizational structures and the lack of freedom that I experienced there. Precisely because I was thinking maybe I could found God only at the Brahma Kumaris and because I didn’t succeed, I felt a deep pain in my final decision to continue my path alone.
For years I have parked all the ideas of the Brahma Kumaris and I started looking for myself including through Osho meditations, emotional bodywork and intuitive development. Occasionally God came over on the sideline, but I was not really into it. The long process of transformation and healing resulted at one point to the observation that no old pain was present and that I had my personality at my disposal in freedom. Although it seems that how I live an enlightened life differs from the majority of those who call themselves Enlightened, I could find no better word for.
Now, a few years after the observation that I had achieved complete inner freedom, to me God came back in the picture, with the questions whom it is and why I would keep busy with God. To my surprise, the founder of the Brahma Kumaris, Brahma Baba, came to me during a meditation, which the eight years Brahma Kumaris came to stand for me in another perspective, and I went better understand what that period has means to me.
All answers I still have not and maybe that will come in the future. But I think I know what it's like to experience God and what that feels like. I can not only tell you. There are no words to indicate. You could maybe join me in meditation, as I recently did a toddler. Actually it is very easy to experience God, only there is too much come between. You yourself came between with everything that you've become unfree. Your images, ideas and beliefs about God have come to be between. And sometimes it's simply too crowded in your head. Then it asks you to make space inside to allow God and to allow the experience.
In life, live here on earth with the people and between people it is very nice to me to connect with God, as a source of love and silence. It is my wish to make it also possible for you to experience God and to express in your life and your personality.
Wonieka A. Meuter
I made an English translation for this blog. I am not very well in English, so excuse for the insufficient translation.
I published this article d.d. 22-2-2012 at http://ontwikkelennaarheelzijn.wordpress.com