Brahmakumaris Matrimonial News: Khannas, Blandfords & others

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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Anurag Mittal

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Re: Brahmakumaris Matrimonial News: Khannas, Blandfords & ot

Post02 Feb 2020

I also want to marry with someone who is having a deep belief in Brahma Kumaris. The one who considers sex never be a medium of love ... if anyone interested please contact me.

98038-60516

anuragmittal555@gmail.com
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ex-l

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Re: Brahmakumaris Matrimonial News: Khannas, Blandfords & ot

Post03 Feb 2020

Why would you like to be married?

What sort of life do you hope to live and why would it be better than, say, living in a Brother's bhavan with our BK Brothers?
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Anurag Mittal

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Re: Brahmakumaris Matrimonial News: Khannas, Blandfords & ot

Post03 Feb 2020

Om Shanti

My parents persuade me to marry. I don't want to ruin my life by marrying with someone. Because I know celibacy is very important for spiritual growth and I love celibacy. To oppose the parents is never easy. So that I want to marry with someone who is having a belief in Brahma Kumaris, so that we both could attain a spiritual progress .. both could understand each other and live a better life.

Hope you understand me...please help me to get rid of this difficult situation. Om Shanti
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Pink Panther

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Re: Brahmakumaris Matrimonial News: Khannas, Blandfords & ot

Post05 Feb 2020

Anurag Mittal wrote: Because I know celibacy is very important for spiritual growth and I love celibacy

It is important for spiritual growth only for the time that is true. Like food is needed for physical growth but overeating is bad, fasting can be good for physical health but also bad - all a matter of appropriateness.

A time may come when you do not feel that way. Celibacy is like fasting.

I can say that I took some benefit from my BK time and celibacy but I also feel that I learnt even more, grew even more ”spiritually” (a word with many interpretations) after I moved away from BKs and away from celibacy.

I'd say that we accept the ”romance” around celibacy and spirituality which presents a picture that they are intertwined and inseparable.

In fact, celibacy can make some people incredibly unspiritual. (Many cases of that). I’d say I stayed celibate twice as long as what was beneficial for me. It retarded my emotional growth, and I would say that emotional growth is more closely aligned to the idea of spiritual growth than celibacy is.
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ex-l

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Re: Brahmakumaris Matrimonial News: Khannas, Blandfords & ot

Post05 Feb 2020

Anurag Mittal wrote:Because I know celibacy is very important for spiritual growth

Do you know, or have you been told, in essence, indoctrinated into the idea?

Is it a true statement, or is just because the BKs' current ideas resonate with that prior indoctrination?

is not learning to relate with others, and taking care/responsibility for planning your life, especially later life, "spiritual"?

Be careful, the Brahma Kumaris have encouraged generations of young people to give up married life on the ground that the world is going to end in 2 or 3 years ... and that was back in the 1940s, 1950, 1960s, 1970s and so on. Now they are old and have no independent wealth, no independent property, no family to care for them ... and the Brahma Kumaris aren't interested in doing so. The best result in the equation is that you end up an unpaid servant for them, totally controlled, with no rights.

This is a serious discussion to have. Your parents are right to be concerned about you. They can see further in life than you on the basis of their experience, and they are not just after your money, free labor, and property like the Brahma Kumaris.
    Is that "spiritual"?

    Is deceiving your parents "spiritual"?

    Is living a lie "spiritual"?
I don't think deceiving anyone is "spiritual" but I think it is VERY BK.

When I first read your post, I was deeply concerned. Firstly, from a BK point of view, it's "wrong". You're committing to a defeat from the beginning (from their point of view) and will be seen as a half-person by them. Secondly, I thought you just want to exploit a young women and use her as your housemaid. This has happened and it is disgusting. Thirdly, also from a BK point of view, would you not be placing an obstacle in front of her "spiritual" progress but disallowing her from becoming a full BK ... and is that "spiritual"?

None of it is "spiritual". It's all a mess and I am wondering what your real issues are? Are you perhaps really just homosexual but cannot admit it? Are you not attracted to women? There's no shame in that here. Why do you fear or why are you put off by human intimacy, by natural love and emotion, and growing in that department?

What's wrong with simple love? Did you have bad experiences in your early life? Are their problems in your family? If so they are what you should be looking at and addressing, not running away from them. Are your parents dominating types? Are you not able to be independent on your own?

Please ask, what is the real issue here?

I was also a pukka BK. In truth, I think that a large part of that was just running away from emotional difficulties. It was a facade that I adopted instead of addressing. Yes, life can be easier if you remove love, sex and emotions from it but you also become a bit unhuman, a bit of an unfeeling robot doing so. Many BKs are. It's what they encourage.

I guess in India things are different because of social pressures (marriage is also a business between families), but also because of simple welfare matters. Families are what look after you when you get old and sick ... if you go into the BKs, you won't have that safety net because the BKs will take your money, property and pension. I think your parents are being sensible but that deceiving them, and encouraging a young women to join you in deceiving them, over such a big issue would be bad karma.

Again, I come back to that ... how can a life starting off with such a big deceit, lead to truth?

There have been many couples broken apart by the BKs, it's a difficult relationship as there are more than 2 people in the relation; the husband, the wife, the center-in-charge.

Please just go off and living your own life. Your own life, not the Lekhraj Kirpalani's, not the BKs, not your parents.

In truth, the real answer regardless of whether you become a BK or not is ... what you really need to do is not find a young woman to join you in a life of deceit ... but to grow a pair of balls, and stand up and be your own man.

You may escape a dominating interfering mother by marrying ... but if you do, you'll just end up with a dominating interfering center-in-charge and senior BKs instead.

Ah ... I think I got it ... your mother and Father wants you to have a wife ... so she can look after them when they get old. They want a free house servant, just like the BKs do!

Is that it?

Brother save yourself from the complications of it all. Baba says, "marriage is the gateway to hell" and surely he was speaking about fake marriages just to appease parents too. You'll end up in a real mess pulled between the BKs and your non-BK parents, with an unhappy wife.
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GuptaRati 6666

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Re: Brahmakumaris Matrimonial News: Khannas, Blandfords & ot

Post05 Feb 2020

Pink and Ex-I, you have presented many helpful ideas to those not able to see the total BK picture.

Brahmacharya has it's benefits; it was great for me in med school and grad school and building a spiritual foundation for the life long spiritual journey. It was not so much society to make me hitch up with my twin flame or soul mate. It was my personality. I am a ladies man or, as a young man, a magnet for girls and just had to settle down with a matching Sister.

The BK life was too restrictive for me, a freedom loving person.
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ex-l

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Re: Brahmakumaris Matrimonial News: Khannas, Blandfords & ot

Post05 Feb 2020

GuptaRati 6666 wrote: It was not so much society to make me hitch up with my twin flame or soul mate. It was my personality. I am a ladies man or, as a young man, a magnet for girls and just had to settle down with a matching Sister.

The BK life was too restrictive for me, a freedom loving person.

Top marks for being able to admit it.

I think what Anurag needs to do is put down the Paramhansa Yogananda, and turn on the Barry White.

But, seriously Anurag, please take this chance to talk things through with people who have walked the path and seen where it takes you, either as a BK or a non-BK.

Have you ever been in love?

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Pink Panther

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Re: Brahmakumaris Matrimonial News: Khannas, Blandfords & ot

Post06 Feb 2020

The psychological scam that is the BK teachings is it gets you to transfer your emotional connections to an ”ideal” and after that you transfer your energy and wealth to them.

I have used this analogy before. The practice of BK meditation is an affirmation where an idealised being is presented to you as ”God” (with all the personal and cultural mythology that goes with that), you sit and focus positive thoughts onto that idea and you get the return of that.

It’s just like a teenybopper sits and fantasises of the love between herself and the pop idol pictured in the poster on her wall. She will then gladly spend any amount on merchandise and concert tickets, and will ”know” that he looked and sang to her every time his eyes turned in her general direction. Of course it's true because she felt it, before during and after, every time she hears the song ...

One day she may get a real boyfriend but this person will not just suddenly be there when she thinks to remember him and not be there when she has no need. And he may be there, annoyingly wanting something of her when she'd rather be alone.

No human relationship can be as convenient as a well-developed fantasy one!
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