Leaving the BKs

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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ex-l

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post03 Oct 2014

I think you will get over that. As I say, if it get bad, just put a pillow over your head and sleep it out. Sort it all out in your dreams.

Yes, you are born again, again! But that is liberating again.

It's not an entirely unique situation for human beings, so we are adopted towards it, i.e. able to remake family and clan associations quickly. One thing to do is think of and find something you really like doing and make new friends in that direction.

You probably have to build up, or rebuild subtle skills like confidence and self-esteem. For a while the detached floatiness will leave you feeling separate from others but it is just a habit and you know how to remake habits.

I am sure life will pull or guide you towards where you are suppose to go, and if it does not, then you are suppose to rest and nourish yourself.

How is life around you? Are you happy where you live and so on?

Best of luck.
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ex-l

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post04 Oct 2014

We do "mind" as in we care and this is what we are here for.

I think I would consider that as a strong intuition or drive that is pushing you to what you need ... which is some kind of companionship or community.

We can offer you some, but only so much. You also need to find real world companionship. I would avoid the habit of floating off and change it as it will only make you more detached from life. Go for walks, speak to people, find an activity you like and get to know others who do too.

It's a sham Pink Panther is not around right now, you might PM them, as this is really their kind of area. I think what they would say is stick with that feeling, don't be afraid and don't over react, and look deep into it, speak to it, ask it why it has come and what it wants to teaching you etc.

I'll think about it.

What did you do before BK that you enjoyed? Unfortunately, we know very little about you so it's difficult to advise specifically. I think what I did was re-find myself and pick up on my journey, not Lekhraj Kirpalani's.

Lekhraj Kirpalani had his own journey in life, his own lessons and test, his own boons, at his level. You are not him and they are not yours.

Personally, when I hear "follow the Father" I think that means, "follow the Father", which means ... find your own path, not join and follow someone else's!
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Pink Panther

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post04 Oct 2014

Image
Did I hear my name mentioned?

Hi again all, I have been away on a long overdue holiday.

Affected BK,

I agree with what has been said - the moods and confusion etc are to be expected. It is a form of a broken heart. So much emotion and energy invested, with an ideal life beckoning, then reality bites and the balloon deflates (or whatever emblem you want to use).

ex-l’s ”when in doubt sleep it out” process is valuable, especially if one can do that consciously. This kind of behaviour can be considered a kind of ”creative depression”, i.e. sometimes you need that withdrawal from normal routine (if not activities, at least mentally) to have the time to reflect (note - ‘reflect' is not ‘analyse'). Sometimes the worse thing you can do with depression is ”medicate”. Footballers sometimes medicate so they can continue playing out the season but end up with long term problems. They should retire injured for a while to let the wound heal.

For example, more physical rest and sleep is fine, or a holiday away is good if you can, but it may not be practical. But at least allow yourself to ”fast” from the whole ”spiritual consumer” mentality. BKism is a kind of spiritual "high saturated fat" diet (with many manifesting symptoms physically!) and even substituting ”health food alternatives” is not letting the system rest.

Just as physical injuries naturally heal over time, you don’t pick at the wound and good doctors merely aid the course of nature anyway, so too, time is needed for psychic rebalancing. It's the balance of (your) nature re-setting itself.

Don't worry about ”working it all out” for a while, just go about the mundane things in life, let yourself observe the different thoughts and feelings that will inevitably rise and fall without judging or evaluating them. Analysing them in their current, unripened, form won’t help.

Let old thoughts die, move on into the new ”present” that presents. When its ready, the fruit drops. That’s your compost, your humus (latin for organic earth & soil) i.e. your humbling - and the new fruit is great filling for humble pie, which ex-BKs must eat because, well, we thought we were special and superior.

Most here will tell you it actually tastes pretty good. It's amazing when the mundane and ordinary once again become wonderful. Its like ex-smokers finding their taste buds come alive again. I know someone who is now on a strict diet & exercise regime who said, after losing their first 5 kilos, they are actually (ironically) enjoying food again and flavours are stronger and more distinguishable.

Life is wonderful in itself and of itself - and telling us otherwise is the big lie at the heart of the BK teachings.
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ex-l

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post05 Oct 2014

Pink Panther wrote:ex-l’s ”when in doubt sleep it out” process is valuable, especially if one can do that consciously.

Yes, I think that is what I mean. I live in a city so it is always noisy and so I have to block external sounds that might disturb and cover my eyes, then just lie there and relax and feel whatever feelings, stress, sadnesses or emotions are in me and allow them to come up; to just listen to the mind and not fight it with other thoughts or leading them. To really feel what I am feeling. Just to let it go.

Quite soon it is as if my body is asleep but I am still awake, and then generally I fall into a deep sleep and when I wake things have changed.

It's no technique, it's not from any "school" except, perhaps, from when we used to do a final relaxation at the end of doing hatha Yoga. I suppose it's just about not fighting or suppressing what your feelings are telling you. I think it's a quite general thing many people do to process things ... but not enough. See if you can get right down to the core feelings and then it's surprising who quickly things can change.

Pink's comment about heart break or mourning is relevant too. If you've never yearned or had your heart broken in "lokik life" you might not think so.
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Affected BK

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post05 Oct 2014

Thanks PP / ex-I for your valued suggestion and advises.

The forum is wonderful family of ours.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post05 Oct 2014

You’re welcome AffectedBK.

This ”passive, let time heal” approach may work for you or may not.

If not, if being alone with such thoughts is disturbing or too unpleasant or leaving you open to regrets or self-denigration as a BK failure (something that gets instilled in many), or it just doesn’t suit you for whatever reason, you may try an opposite approach, essentially ”substitution therapy”.

That is, fill your life with substitutions for the BK routines with new routines. eg.
    - Instead of 4 am meditation, do 4 am exercises (or whatever time suits you). Jog, walk a route to a nice place and back, or get a job with an early start time ... You’ll feel refreshed and ahead of the day
    - Instead of morning Murli, study the great literature or philosophers, or a skill (music practice? Tai ch’i?) or study something you’ve always wanted to but never made time for, or go buy and read the newspaper (they still exist) over coffee at a local cafe ...
    - Instead of traffic control, do a few minutes’ stretching or posture correction at your desk/workplace with simple focus on your alignment and breathing
    - Instead of evening meditation, have a nap, or go to a class, do a course of something that has no purpose other than enjoyment - dancing, drumming, drawing, cooking, photography - where you can meet different kinds of people. On the nights this doesn’t happen, make a point of reconnecting with family and old friends, or making new ones.
    - Be open, say "Yes" to new directions, be wary of ingrained BK ”roadblocks” (or other self-sabotage) and artificial value judgements that encourage a ”No” to the new.
Mr Green’s stated preferred method is known as the ”Liquid Amber” therapy (a.k.a. elbow bending). It seems to have worked for him. You will instinctively sense what helps you and what doesn't.

The touchstone is whether you feel freer or feel burdened (with caveats that how you feel about/judge things will change).

Good luck. Keep us posted on how you go.
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Affected BK

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post05 Oct 2014

Dear All,

thankyou.jpg
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ex-l

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post05 Oct 2014

    Q: What do you call a transexual Brahma Kumar who is good at service?

    A: A trans-sister microphone soul.
OK, that's more of a groan than a laugh.

Most of my BK jokes are pretty rude.
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quantum

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post05 Oct 2014

hahahaha, ex-l ... I'll laugh at anything ... lol ... good one. This joke is 'uncanny' ... as I thought of a similar one today going about my usual, and wondered if I should post it; so here goes; 'What do you call a Brahma Kumari Transexual'? ... "BK Hardick" ... hahaha ... tame, but a 'nice slant' I reckon ...
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ex-l

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post05 Oct 2014

Ooo ... that's a bit close to the bone. It says to me that you really need to speak out more about your experiences, and the perhaps unjust or hypocritical events you witnessed, with a certain individual. And it's worth point out that it's often spelt Hardik in India.

One of the reasons I would make such joke, or encouraging people to break such taboos, and have been doing so them for years, is break with fears and inhibitions that might bind them.

"Respect", especially respect for the Seniors, is used as a heavyweight controlling mechanism when, really, people should be screaming out "these Emperors have no clothes on". Perhaps even moreso in India or Asian cultures where respect for elders is paramount to survival within society (disrespect them and you are out or in trouble). I know in Chinese and Japanese cultures, for example, it is perhaps even stronger.

It goes against modern cultures in the West where "to call a spade a spade" (but not a slant a "slant") is valued moreso and it's considered healthier for even old folk to be pulled up about their inconsistencies.

Perhaps you still carry traumatic fears about this individual? It's OK to make fun of them but better to speak of your hurt, pains or confusions and how it damaged you, and make very fair, specific and as objective as possible criticisms.

Humour is healing. Black humour and the ability to laugh gets people through very dark times. We even call it "gallows humour" in English ... humour in the face of very serious or unpleasant events.

Now evidence of some BKs' sense of humour ...

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Pink Panther

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post06 Oct 2014

If ever anything was misnamed by the BKs it was the ”cultural” programs. This video is not even pre-school level, more like two year old. The word ”moronic” comes to mind - moron originally means less than childish, infantile. Shows for two year olds on TV like "Teletubbies" and "In the Night Garden” have more culture and edification that this waste of time.
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ex-l

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post08 Oct 2014

I don't think the BKs leadership has any appreciation for "culture" and certainly don't teach it. In fact, do they teach veneration of anything, except their old dears?

Anything but spending time on PR and remembering their Baba is a waste of time, money and resources. Of no value.

Indeed, equal to an negative value. A sin.

All of the cultural value of the world is basically worth zero to them and they look forward to its absolute Destruction; ALL of the arts, the architecture, the story telling, the wit and humour, all of other cultural heritages except their on very limited and low brow Hinduism is IMPURE to them.

Really what defines "PURE" to them is turning a profit for us, and what defines "IMPURE" is "not turning a profit for us", "distracting from our ambitions".

I remember when one of the first non-Indian "cultural" performances took place in the London centre, which largely at that time set the standard for the rest of the non-India BK world. The odd classical Indian dance was about as far as they stretched because, generally, some of the young women had been trained in it before becoming BKs.

Then some Europeans came along and did a ballet dance. A male and female dancing together and 'touching'. You could sense the discomfort crackle in the air and BKs not know how to respond.

There is a history of the evolution of "acceptable" cultural expression within BKism to be made. Originally, as they expanded into the West, they were very anti-artists and artistic expression. They were the ultimate hard nosed philistines led by a fairly ignorant and uneducated - but ultimately ambitious bigot. Dadi Janki.

At that time it was just service, service, service done the Indian way with low brow Indian materials. That was the way they had always done things and so that was Baba's way. Just how that kind of narrow world view was transformed and extended, not by the leadership of the Kirpalani Klan but generally against it and from within the community could be worth exploring.

And when one in every three malnourished children in the world is lives in India ... the percentage of underweight children in India is amongst the highest in the world, and nearly double that of Sub-Saharan Africa ... what does it say of a cult lead by rotund old ladies that makes a joke about their fat bellies?

Are they mocking the world around them? Softness and fatness is a sign of power and wealth in India, where the poor have to work their hard muscles and sinews and starve.
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Save Innocents

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post08 Oct 2014

ex-l wrote: There is a history of the evolution of "acceptable" cultural expression within BKism to be made. Originally, as they expanded into the West, they were very anti-artists and artistic expression.

And now they must have changed their "acceptability level", all for PR, is it not? I think that is just one way in which they would be accepted by West or other Eastern countries. So don't get startled if you come to know of BKs doing ballet in their PR events.
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quantum

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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post08 Oct 2014

OMG ... hahahahaha ... that 'Cultural" dance is Obscene ... it is gob smackingly bloody ridiculous! ... WTF! ... little 'mr Potato Heads' ... all jumping around like stupid little retards .... and the senoir BK Stoogers, all sitting there watching and not laughing ... as if it's 'normal'! ... giving the little' nut jobs' a hand out reward ... some fatty crumbs, toli, from the dumb holy emperors ... hahahahah ... their all their own side show ... numb nuts.
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Re: Leaving the BKs

Post08 Oct 2014

Yeah, that normal for BKs ... anything that appears abnormal to world becomes normal & profitable source for BKWSU ... and that which is normal to everyone is considered abnormal in bkism ... haha ... there must be a conflict among BKs to get in front row in all such shows/events ... that's perhaps Baba's miracle ... BKs search such jokers among common people & when they don't find one, they refer it as worldly enough to be rejected ....s omeone doing hanky panky is their source of attraction as it requires no mind to deal with such people ..... they are definitely tired of all that daily schedule .... so such events must be quite relaxation for them ... laughing in BK show is almost like questing BKs ... laugh only when Dadis or Didis do it ... otherwise remain bodiless just like these potato heads ... I doubt if it's done by grown up humans.
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