Master Cards

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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andyh

ex-BK

  • Posts: 2
  • Joined: 12 May 2006
  • Location: UK

Master Cards

Post05 Oct 2006

Master Cards
An antidote to psycho bollocks.
Best enjoyed using a Chinese or Gangster Accent
Cut out and use at real parties.
This is genuine “Deep ****”.
Warning : Do not use on people who love cuddly toys.

In no particular order:

Purpose
As a Master I know that there is no other purpose that the pursuit of kicks however I do it without ******* in my own or anyone else’s backyard.

Accuracy
As a Master I know that getting things right is a great way of looking cool. Hey man give me five!

Openness
As a Master I know that openness is my goal, I look forward to the day when I can say “Hey take a look, you can’t pin anything on me”.

Knowledge
As a Master I know that I cannot know everything but I know that it is only fools that get caught.

Love
As a Master I know that love is very nice, but I also know that the best kind comes absolutely free.

Beauty
As a Master I know that beauty don’t last so I live it up whilst I still look good.

Generosity
As a Master I know that I sure feel good when I know that I am helping save the planet.

Compassion
As a Master I know that compassion should only be used to comfort those who can’t take a reality slap.

Courage
As a Master I know that I have failed if I have to use courage. Knowing this I close my eyes and flip the coin, death or glory.

Self-Respect
As a Master I know that I am the man, despite what the whole world may think.

Understanding
As a Master I understand what every devious ******* is up to and I take them out first.

Stability
As a Master I know that when everything goes tits up around me it isn’t my fault, so I chill.

Gentleness
As a Master I know that a soft touch is nice but that I am not a “soft touch”.

Introspection
As a Master I know that a mirror never lies. If I look **** I am ****.

Positivity
As a Master I know that positivity is state experienced by lucky people. As a master I take reality “neat”.

Wonder
As a Master I wonder at the supreme ability of my fellow man to **** things up.

Integrity
As a Master people know that what I say I will do, you know what I mean?

Peace
As a Master I know that peace is an illusion caused by a break in the fighting.

Spontaneity
As a Master I know that spontaneity is just something of mine I don’t see coming.

Transformation
As a Master I know that transformation is undertaken by people who think they have screwed things up.

Good Wishes
As a Master I know that “Good Wishes” is another way of saying “You need help”.

Enthusiasm
As a Master I know that enthusiasm is the opposite of depression but unlike depression it rarely lasts.

Creativity
As a Master I know that I have a mind that even surprises itself.

Caring
As a Master I care for myself as I know that no-one else really gives a damn.

Trust
As a Master I know that trust is a risk not worth taking.

Acceptance
As a Master I know that I cannot control everything so I accept that sometimes it is best to duck when the **** hits the fan.

Delight
As a Master I know that people experience delight when they think everything is going to plan.

Strength
As a Master I know that I am only strong when I have stone, paper and scissors.

Respect
As a Master I know I have to respect that other people will not respect me and watch my back.

Royalty
As a Master I know that royal behaviour is an expensive fashion accessory.

Truth
As a Master I know that truth is relative to peoples experiences and dreams.

Self-confidence
As a Master I know that self-confidence is only as strong as my last success.

Freedom
As a Master I know that I will never be free, I only change ownership like a used car, until I am scrapped.

Silence
As a Master I know that silence is only a pause before something better happens.

Harmony
As a master I know that the whole world will never get into key so I just gently hum to myself.

Tolerance
As a Master I know that tolerance is compromise and is a sign of failure.

Farsightedness
As a Master I know that just like in the movies the “injuns” are just on the other side of the hill.

Flexibility
As a Master people know that like a flexible “switch” the more I bend the harder I come back.

Insight
As a Master I know what you did last summer.

Happiness
As a Master I know that happiness is the afterglow of kicks.

Honesty
As a Master I know that no one can take real honesty so I have mercy and remain silent.

Easiness
As a Master I am easy as I can walk out whenever I want.

Determination
As a Master I know that determination can take me a long way but first I check that I am heading in the right direction.

Co-operation
As a master as I know that relationships are a good source of kicks.

Lightness
As a Master I am light as I know that I don’t have your problems.

Patience
As a Master I have the patience of a Vulture.

Balance
As a Master I can wobble gracefully.

Simplicity
As a Master I know that complexity is just simplicity ganging up me.

Serenity
As a Master I know that even death will be serene ... so long and thanks for the kicks.

Tirelessness
As a Master I know that even a good kip is a pleasurable activity.

Contentment
As a Master I know that if I feel content I am selling myself short.

Power
As a Master I know muscles are flash but the ladies prefer stamina.

Forgiveness
As a Master I always forgive but never forget.

Humour
As a Master I know that humour is man’s greatest achievement.

Empowerment
As a Master I remember that once I wasn’t.

Maturity
As a Master I know the difference between maturity and a load of crap piled sky high with age.

Communication
As a Master I know that communication is a means of becoming very excited.

Politeness
As a Master I know that politeness is only a smoke screen.

Concentration
As a Master I know that If everyone could concentrate they would all be geniuses.

Discipline
As a Master I know that there really is too much of a good thing.

Appreciation
As a Master I know the effect of thanks, chocolates and flowers.

Healing
As a Master I know that healing is a good time to reflect on how I ******* up.

Humility
As a Master I have no need for humility, what I get I deserve.

Wisdom
As a Master I know that I have found my own wisdom and that you will have to find yours.

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