vinodkumar1976 wrote:My wife is now almost devastated because she is the only one from her family who is not following the cult, hence she feels lonely from her family's side. The emotional attachment she has for her parents broke her. She goes through lot of pain.
Then that is the main issue to focus on.
If the family -
I suppose the BKs captured the mother first and then drew in the rest? - has been in for 20 years, and will not listen to commonsense, then one has to lose hope that they will be coming out. Their personalities will have been bent around the beliefs and they will be bound to BK social connections.
But it's strange they go to Abu so often ... why do they do that? There is no specific spiritual need or merit in doing so, even from a BK point of view.
Does your wife understand that the BK teachings brainwash the followers to "die alive" in their minds, to cut all bodily attachments? To see non-bKs in the negative way they do and practise detachment? Every morning they attend Murli class they will hear this. They will look upon her as the "failure".
Does the mother have no warmth and feelings for her? Was she against your marriage? Was that a big fight for your wife?
OK, let us also accept that there might be residual culture influences here, e.g. the place of daughters in India, but that is a minor aspect. The primary one is BK domination and attitudes to non-BKs.
You say they gang up against her ... amazing. Well, I am afraid she is up against gang of stupid, brainwashed, unfeeling and manipulated idiots trapped by their own egos and flattered by the BKs into doing whatever they do; money, volunteering etc.
In such a case, I am afraid my advice might not be pleasant to hear ... she should hold a funeral for them and accept their choice, that they have died and she is alone ... to cut off *absolutely entirely*.
I would write them a letter telling them how she feels about them, the love feels for them, and confirming that when they choose to leave the BKs she will accept them back ... but then not see them any more and be firm about it. After a while, the pain and confusion will die away. We humans are designed in that way as death has always been part of our experience.
"Time heals", they say ... if you stop cutting and damaging yourself. Therefore, to really accept what BKism does to people and that she has lost her family, as if to a fatal disease or invader, have some kind of ritual to process it. And then not see them any more.
Cut off, refuse to see them until they drop BKism, and replace them with someone else. There are 7.5bn people in the world and a whole load of animals, she will be able to give and receive love elsewhere.
The first part of this is not being deluded about what BKism is. They are like a fatal virus or an invasion force establishing its empire. Their symbolic language is of empires and kingdoms, killing and dying. They are programmed to see this "old world" as a graveyard and its inhabitants, you and your wife, as "the devilish community". That is exactly what they say.
You cannot negotiate with that, nor appeal to their goodness, kindness or reason ... because there is no goodness, kindness or reasoning behind it. It is a sort of contagious insanity. All you can do is protect what they have not already taken ... your family, your home, your children, your community. See them like the Mughals come back to India, or plague carriers and warn others from them. Isolate them away, and frustrate their progress until they stop. They are enemies to your world by their own intention to conquer it. Again, literally, a BK concept.
If necessary, I would literally hold a funeral for them.
I am sure the local priests are no fans or devotees of the BKs and so explain it to them [in the West, she might be encouraged to go to a psychotherapists but a) they are equiped to deal with cults and BKism, b) it is not common practise in India, and c) it is expensive and questionably successful]. Even make a media event of it to raise awareness against BKism.
I am sorry to say this but your wife has to grow up and accept she is on her own now ... with you and your family.
The BKs also reference the traditional idea of women leaving their family's home to go to their "aunties", that is what she must do and NOT keep hurting herself on them. With time, the grief, pain and loss will fade. You need to do this as I am afraid she will experience even more pain when they die and the BKs will ... a) take ownership of their funeral and infect it, and b) take their money and property.
How does that sound?
Some questions though, if the parents have been in the BKs for 20 years ... how old is she and her Brothers? Did she grow up being taken to the BKs and then reject it? Why did she reject it, and what gave her the strength to do so?
Was there conflict over the marriage, dowry etc?
If she needs the love (and wisdom and guidance) of an older woman, find an old widow who is on her own now and adopt her. If she needs a "family", find a new circle of people who share your values and make them it. It is possible ... but she will need to let go first. She must base her happiness on the life she must create for herself now.