Triple ex-BK Jokes

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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bro neo

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Post12 Nov 2007

Mr green is right :lol:.
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ex-l

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Post03 Jan 2008

For those that do not understand how evolution works ... here is the scientific version from Southpark. XXX-BKs only.
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paulkershaw

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post05 Jun 2008

A different slant on the big question:

"This stuff seems like brainwashing," said the student.
"Your brain needs washing," replied the teacher
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paulkershaw

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post29 Sep 2008

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I am too smart for the 1st grade. My Sister is in the 3rd grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.' The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'
Harry: 'Coconut.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?' The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong ...'
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driedexbk

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Re:

Post18 Oct 2008

driedexbk wrote:This note is for the administrator of this forum.
I just read this post about "triple ex-BK jokes" and it did not impress me very well. If I were a person whose intention was to find out in more details about the BKWSU, I would not take seriously what anyone was stating in this forum. Thus, please, look attentively to what is accepted as solemn for the purpose of this group. Jokes are not necesary ... they are rather undesirable and detrimental.

I guess there is nothing serious about the Brahma Kumaris; I just added a joke to the list. In addition to ex-l's first joke of 31 Jan 07.
amaranthine wrote:FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. ...
ex-l wrote:Brahma Kumari-ism: You pay for the cow and to feed it but God owns it and the BKs milk it. When you die the BKs get the cow but it is the end of the line because the cow is not allowed to have sex to have any calves. [/list]

Brahma Kumarism:

    You have two cows. You are told to be detached from them. You obey and neglect the cows. You are brainwashed to believe cows are impure; yet, they drink cow's milk. The cows get skinny from being milked. They send blessings and toli to the cows with thoughts to get them closer. They dictate to the cows to stay away from impure thoughts of reproduction. The cows resist temptation, but without a bull around, the cows indulge in illicit behavior with one another. Now the cows are like Kumaris.
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ex-l

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Re: Re:

Post18 Oct 2008

driedexbk wrote:You have two cows ...

Ha! Thanks for the reminder. The possibilities are endless ...

Brahma Kumarism:

    You have a cow but you have not got a job, money or education. So you get a government grant to give you a field and start a religion in order to collect money to feed the cow.

    Tell your followers it is the only real cow and have them build you a farm. Then get them to shovel its ... and your ... sh!t for for free by saying that if they do, they will get a high status in heaven.
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bindi

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post24 Oct 2008

Gosh, you lot are so clever to come up with these jokes.

As a PBK, I find it quite refreshing to find that all these people that are supposedly ex-bks have a greater understanding of the obstacles that they have to overcome, by facing these realities of life. You are probably a lot better than those that hide behind the white facade.

I WONDER IF SOME OF YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING THOSE TEMPLES THAT ARE MENTIONED IN THE Murlis SO OFTEN!!!
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paulkershaw

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post24 Oct 2008

I am my own temple ...
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ex-l

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post24 Oct 2008

I aim at my own temple ...

    Two BK Sisters in a bath ... One goes, "where's the soap?" The other replies, "Yes, doesn't it!"
And you can take that one as you wish and according to your level of purity.
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ex-l

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The Power of Thoughts

Post13 Nov 2008

The Power of Thoughts ... a good job they cannot speak.

Behind the scene views from the latest BK service events. "Let's invite a guru telling him that we want his blessings but instead WE will SERVE him and use his picture for for making us look good and advertising." ... (click to enlarge).

Our-gurus-are-not-gurus.jpg

Remember-Baba.jpg
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ex-l

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post13 Nov 2008

Its her karma ... (click to enlarge).
BK-Lakshmi.jpg
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paulkershaw

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post13 Nov 2008

An ex-BK decided to chatch up on all that lost time after leaving Gyan and ended up with an older woman at a club ... She looked OK for a 51 year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and he found himself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter. They drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if he'd ever had a "Sportsman's Double".

'What's that?' he asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
He said, 'No' - excitedly.
They drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'his lucky night'. They went back to her place.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake?'
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ex-l

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post27 Jan 2009

bk-wolf.jpg
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Terry

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post15 Mar 2009

Leunig wrong mountain.jpg
Leunig wrong mountain.jpg (4.99 KiB) Viewed 6493 times
Advice for ex-BK recovery

    * Remember, it’s always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
    * Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
    * If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
    * Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
    * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
    * Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
    * "The Force" is like duct tape. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
    * Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Advice for surrendered BKs

    * Don't be irreplaceable. If you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.
    * Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
    * Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
    * A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    *There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
    * Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
    * Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Advice for those becoming BKs

    * Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
    * If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
    * Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
    * The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Terry

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Re: Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post15 Mar 2009

An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him, "You can stay here but we have one important rule: all students observe Mauna or a vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak in 12 years."

After practicing for 12 long years, the day came when the student could say his one thing or ask his one question.

He said: "The bed is too hard."

He kept going for another 12 years of austere discipline, meditation and silence and finally got the opportunity to speak again. He said: "The food is not good."

Twelve more years of hard work and he got to speak again. Here are his words after 36 years of practice: - "I quit."

His Guru quickly answered: "Good, all you've done since you got here is complain."
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