Why did you join the BKWSU?

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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proy

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Why did you join the BKWSU?

Post23 Mar 2007

In the Mind Control Video thread
ex-l wrote:ONE HELL of a lot more abuse goes on in families, especially orthodox or conservative families, than it will EVER do in cults. They want to protect the myth of happy nuclear families which just is not true either ... I meant abuse in families generally. They uphold "the family" as a paragon of virtue and goodness, which it may not be. There is a balance between protecting the fabric of a society based on families groups and encourage individuals.

I think the dysfunction in families is one of the reasons why people join cults, and why cults can serve people, as individuals, as long as those people are able to move on through and out of the cults in time. We talk a lot here about why we left the BKs, and it has been said that many of our stories of why we left are very similar.
    Why did we join? I expect those stories will be similar too.
My own story is already well documented here, but to sum it up in a few words, I would say I was trying to find something that I felt was missing from my own self. When I got the "Power Drishti" that I have written about in detail in my previous posts I thought and felt that I had found that "something missing". Now I realise that I can only fill that gap with my own self-esteem. An important distinction here - self-esteem and self confidence are two very different things. It is possible, even quite common, to have a huge amount of self confidence while at the same time having low self esteem.

The reason why I felt there was something missing from my self, which led to me joining the BKs, is probably due to my having been raised in a dysfunctional family. It was not terrible, and I do not feel sorry for myself. I never suffered sexual abuse. I rarely got hit, no more than was usual for those times in the UK. I did feel that my birth family was an unhappy environment, and I got out of it as soon as I could by getting married, as did my three siblings. Somehow I must have thought that there was another family somewhere that was not dysfunctional, a soul family that I could join. I never found one, I do not believe it exists, but it was an illusion I fostered for decades.

I wonder if any other people on the forum would like to share their reasons for joining the BKs?
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alladin

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mind games

Post23 Mar 2007

Totally with you Proy, and also I come from a disfunctional family (no physical violence, but other problems). Honestly, I got more help in few meetings with Al-Anon, than I got in 22 yrs with the BKs. Funny, I also was thinking about these things yesterday and am preparing a list of steps the BKs take you through in the brainwashing process they apply from the very first contact (more on that later).

One was the lie about belonging to a unique spiritual family, we are elected souls, siki lade children chosen by God. What you would have never imagined, happened. The dream came true; I found God, or God found me. We were orphans, and now we have been adopted. These are the tactics that function apparently very well with people whose pshycology and life history has been affected by a mediocre relationship with parents, sense of not belonging, of not being loved or valued.

All of a sudden the chance to feel superior to anybody else in the world. Turn the page and the story changes. You have to start giving now. It's like publicity, they make you believe you were selected for a prize, but it's a trick. We got so little, but what we got were key things to us. Later, when we realised the family was not so full of love and angelic, and discovered more and more inconsistencies, it was already too late to uninstal the program.

When you invest, even in lokik relationships, it's hard to disinvest, to accept that a partner was not the right one for us. We want to give it one more try, agaist the all odds, don't we? A woman who hasn't experienced abuse in her family, will more easily stay away or walk away from abusive partners, but if wrongdoings and abuse are inscribed in your childhood record, you can swallow a lot more S***. Example; lies and abuse from SS.

Many things to think about and share. Apart from the above statements, I came in Gyan because I was interested in meditation, Eastern philosophies, wanted to get closer to God. The BK org seemed so clean and uncontamineted by gurus, money and the typical stuff you find elsewhere. Can you imagine the disappointment when you realize it is not quite so? Let me finish for now, otherwise the reading becomes too long.

Sorry, one more point about orphans:

Experts on terrorism, never stop saying that Al Queda and other groups, get their fighters from the madrassas, where mullahs feed hordes of children left orphans by wars and famine. Lodge them, curb them, feed them and brainwash them with fundamentalist interpretetions of the Koran. That's how they form fanatics. Any similarities?
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john

reforming BK

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Post24 Mar 2007

I joined to deprogram myself from the media controlled brainwashing society that we live in today.

If society of today is so right and good, why is it not working?
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zhuk

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Post25 Mar 2007

I joined kinda by mistake lol

Through misinformation by the medical profession who thought that I had a mental rather than a physical problem. But I was never looking for anything "spiritual" or "esoteric" in the slightest. Just pain relief :P.

Which - thankfully! - made it fairly easy to leave. Although it would have been easier had I not been harassed to stay by very deluded (yet in *their mind*) well-meaning people. LMAO! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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ex-l

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Post25 Mar 2007

20 word or less version ... I am aware that there is a trend amongst ex-cult members, of which I consider myself to be, to re-invent and justify one's life mistakes by blaming the cult. They call it the "apostate". I hope that I do not here and remain fairly honest.

(I can imagine a few BKs are going to put this through the psychic scanner machine to analyse it. At best to put me down as a sanyasi soul or at worst to work out who I am and where I am coming from. Get a life and go have more Yoga).

My answer is, I thought I was going to learn Raja Yoga ... by that I meant the real Raja Yoga. Become enlightened, not hypnotised and involved with spooks.

I had been studying Hatha Yoga and progressing very well. I had done some dance and Pa Qua before, and was fit and becoming aware of subtle energies, was interested in diet and fasting. Looking back, I realise how grateful I am for my Yoga, chi and mediumship teachers because they really saw something in me and encouraged me without guile to come even if I could not afford to pay. (Being unworldly and non-materialistic was easy for me. I really enjoyed it). I realy made a mistake to allow myself to be discouraged from all that by the BKs.

I grew up on radical underground press and stuff like the feminist "Our Bodies, Ourselves", as I mentioned elsewhere, which went into Yoga too. But I started reading all the usual mystic, yogi books, e.g. 'Tao Te Ching', 'Autobiography of a Yogi', 'Patanjali's Yoga Sutras' and 'Seeking the Master' etc. I figured if they could do it, I could.

So I was preparing to go to India to "seek the master" ... that is, commit to becoming enlightened as a way to change the world. I had flirted with politics and realised that it was no way to change the world. I was going to go the spiritual route. I had no burdens to stop me and no interest in worldly things or family. I was already a vegetarian and did not do drugs etc. I was not looking for "peace of mind" or like that. I was a yogi soul and wanted to go for it. I realise now I very young but I had been cool and it was not worth it either. If I had been around at the time when all the management executive moved in I think I would have spent my time between vomit and laughter.

As preparation, I decided to visit spiritual groups and practise other yogas in my own country first to see what I could learn, pick up the langauge etc. Siddhi Yoga, Sivananda, ISKCON, Eckanakar, spiritual churches, I even passed the free test at the Scientologists, (the interviewer was a little bit ****** at that!) ... and then I discovered the Raja Yoga center and went along there thinking it was that. I expected to find real yogis ...

It was not advertised as the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University then. There was little of the facade. It was all quite warm, homely and humble. I got sucked in and dragged off, kicked around, stuck it out, became distracted by all the side shows and family life, wasted years before I was strong and clear enough to call it a day and rebuilding myself.

It took many years, painful experiences and deep regret to unpick the mental conditioning and come to terms with what I had been encourage to do to my life. It is a wonder that I survived at all. You have no idea how hard it was. As far as am concerned, the BKWSU gave me nothing and if I had stayed, I would have used me up and wasted my life entirely without a second thought. Some of the advice I was given was appallingly bad, utterly irresponsible, caused a great deal of pain to others and was selfish of them. In my opinion, it was a self-serving institution for which vulnerable individuals were its food. But here I still am ... come back to pick it to pieces now. And, funnily enough, I am not wrong and, may be, there is the real Yoga still out there.

Is there another topic for "Why I left the BKWSU?". I left because I really wanted to make a difference for the world, not sit around in stupid service meeting discussing ways of self-advertising and I had no interest in investing myself in becoming a career Brahmin by submitting to the SS.

I got sick of the hypocrisy, the stupidity, the repressed lesbian lovers, the domestic tiffs and lost all respect for the Seniors. I could be specific but I complain too much. On a personal level I quite liked the Seniors and felt compassion for them stuck in their roles but I could not look up to them for going along with it. At that time it was pretty rare for BKs to leave and it took effort.

I DO NOT REGRET IT ONE SECOND. I HAVE HAD A GREAT AND INTERESTING LIFE SINCE. ALL OF MY OWN AND NOT OWNED BY A BRAND.

No, BKs, it is not as simple as being pulled away by Maya or falling to lust. There is much more to life than you think.

adikarisoul

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Post25 Mar 2007

ex-l wrote:I am aware that there is a trend amongst ex-cult members, of which I consider myself to be, to re-invent and justify one's life mistakes by blaming the cult. They call it the "apostate". I hope that I do not here and remain fairly honest.

IDEM :roll: :roll:

I joined the BK because I was searching for Balance in my life and Truth. At the beginning I loved the simple and warm atmosphere of the centre and the fact that this knowledge helped me in re-establishing the connection with God that I had interrupted completely ... with a God-Father, a benevolent Being with NO human form just a SOUL, a point of light ... Someone that could understand and heal my broken heart ... Someone that did not want to punish me for my mistakes but wanted to teach me how to fly again ...

Over the years though things have changed a lot and now it seems to me a completely new organization, very distant from the one I used to know and from myself.

I left 'cause I was sick of the hypocrisy, the business-like and MAFIA-like interactions, that are omnipresent in the BK Org. today ... expecially in the country where I live ...

I take this opportunity for thanking you all from the depth of my heart for your sincerity, your "warm" friendship and your LOVE.

Adikari

bert

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Post26 Mar 2007

ex-l wrote:I decided to visit spiritual groups and practise other yogas in my own country first to see what I could learn, pick up the langauge etc. Siddhi Yoga, Sivananda, ISKCON, Eckanakar, spiritual churches ...

Ditto with me, but I don't think it was until I sampled BK, that I became more certain of genuine experience of the spiritual rather than just deep relaxation. I'd still say that my first meeting with Baba remains the most vivid and extended of those experiences. -The benchmark if you like of why I'll remain convinced in this life that we are more than matter.
ex-l wrote:It was not advertised as the Braham Kumaris World Spiritual University then, There was little of the facade ... as far as am concerned, the BKWSU gave me nothing..

It looks as though you did your own BK stint much earlier than myself. I am interested to know what you made of the Madhuban meetings, assuming you would have seen it when the gatherings were much more intimate and personal?

For me, even at a distance as it was then, the energy seemed as benevolent as it was tangible. But for you, who I am assuming was around at the time when personal access was apparently routinely given to the close, undivided attention of that energy source - surely that must have given you something spiritually?

Can I ask, did the entity say anything to you then, that you could interpret as precognition of your present reformist stance in regard to the organisation?
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ex-l

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Post26 Mar 2007

bert wrote:Can I ask, did the entity say anything to you then, that you could interpret as precognition of your present reformist stance in regard to the organisation?

Not all. I once got a "you are a good soul" once from Janki at Rahki and I told her the same back. Even then I felt a hollow lack of conviction when I said it. I was just parroting what I heard.

To be honest, I don't place and I would not advice placing any weigh on such utterances at all. Its just a ritual they perform to encourage faith. There is a very strong culture within the BKs of investing inordinate emphasis on passing statements as if they were "Words from The Oracle". I don't believe they are, that entity is God nor that it is where we ought to be looking. I think our attention ought to be placed on the broader, deeper and more concrete currents of the organization. Action speaking louder than words.

I have also realised that I am not a reformist. I am just doing what I am doing for my own benefit; digging out the dirt and shrapnel from my own wound, trying to straighten myself up and trying to assert that my own intuitive powers were actually right. If it benefits anyone else, then good luck for them.
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alladin

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oracles

Post26 Mar 2007

Totally with you ex-l, about the "actions speak louder than words" part and self-service first, from which I am positive others will also benefit.

Oracles ... we are old souls, so we got used to fear, pay, trust and depend on their suggestions and prophecies from Copper Age on, nothing new or New Aged, really. Old Bhakti habit :wink:

I will add some points on the Madhban and meeting Baba's topic, connecting with what Bert said.

bert

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Post26 Mar 2007

ex-l wrote:..I don't place and I would not advice placing any weigh on such utterances at all. Its just a ritual they perform to encourage faith..

OK, I understand, but what did you make of the 'energy' present at the meetings themselves? I know of a couple of ex-members who met Baba one on one and though their current attitude towards the organisation is at best ambivalent, I don’t think I’m stretching it to say that their recall of those meetings is that of undiminished awe.

You however, routinely refer to him as 'the Spook', - hardly a term of endearment. :? So what was it like? On the basis of my own experience, I can only imagine that it must have been quite overpowering to be 'up close and personal' as it were, but perhaps not as blissfully so for you as for others?
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arjun

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Post26 Mar 2007

ex-l wrote:Not all. I once got a "you are a good soul" once from Janki at Rahki and I told her the same back. Even then I felt a hollow lack of conviction when I said it. I was just parroting what I heard.

There is a tradition or ritual of giving blessings to BKs by random picking of colourful/designer pieces of paper with blessings written on/inside them. They place such papers on a tray on the Rakhi day or any other special function and ask the BKs to pick up a blessing one by one. Every BK gets a blessing or praise and goes home happy thinking that he got a blessing/boon from Baba in the form of that piece of paper.

When this practice had begun about two decades ago, these blessings used to be written by hand, but over the time, this practice seems to have been found to be so commercially viable by the BK administration that probably now they sell bundles of such ready made printed blessings on colourful/designer papers at Madhuban that are purchased by the BK sisters-in-charge from all over the world to be distributed among their BK students on special days to keep them in good humour.

I, myself have the experience of preparing such blessings during my many years as a BK (because I used to draw and paint those days) and picking up one for myself at the end of the function.

Regards,
OGS,
Arjun
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alladin

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Post27 Mar 2007

ex-l wrote:"I thought I was going to learn Raja Yoga ... by that I meant the real Raja Yoga. Become enlightened, not hypnotised and involved with spooks. If I had been around at the time when all the management executive moved in I think I would have spent my time between vomit and laughter. It was all quite warm, homely and humble. In my opinion, it was a self-serving institution for which vulnerable individuals were its food. I left because I really wanted to make a difference for the world, not sit around in stupid service meeting discussing ways of self-advertising and I had no interest in investing myself in becoming a career Brahmin by submitting to the SS. I got sick of the hypocrisy

I could really quote everything ex-l and Proy and others wrote and say I felt the same. I felt so touched, so moved by these mails :cry: , especially because the writers are the same brave warriors that invest time in researching systematically, exposing real facts, some like Arjun explain and translate original Murlis. So the hurt, the disappointment have become a motivation for wanting to know more truth and letting others know.I think this is a very good method for healing, and shows compassion, a good way to transform the energy of sorrow, regret for having possibly wasted time and being deceived, into something positive. It is, like Joel said very cathartic and a good disinfection. It's beautiful to see how freedom fighters can show their feelings and soft side.

I do hope that this motivation can stand out clear to those who read but don't write, that hesitate because they think it's only Maya or criticism going on on the Forum. Our hearts were torn, so, in order to mend them, we have to pull the veil of lies apart.
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joel

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Post27 Mar 2007

alladin wrote:I do hope that this motivation can stand out clear to those who read but don't write, that hesitate because they think it's only Maya or criticism going on on the Forum. Our hearts were torn, so, in order to mend them, we have to pull the veil of lies apart.

is not it curious, tho, that for some there is a veil of lies, and that for others there is only the greatest truthfulness?

I wanted to be enlightened, too. "I am a soul and this is my body" at the time seemed like the highest and simplest realization. The answer to every question. I think we need to be careful (there should be a blinking red light) when we hear "the answer to every question" because each situation of life is different. It is we by our lives that answer the question of every situation, and I don't believe that verbal incantation can substitute for the joy and pain and persistent willingness to birth our own story. "How to be enlightened?" I asked. Which is like asking, "how can I know what to do in each situation in advance?" Like the confident actors we see in the movies. Children do not question the answer that their own activity provides to situations.

So if there is not an answer to every question, if there is not any one answer, then what is left? Having faith is not the exclusive possession of the church. People can be confident and positive with the faith being a part of their character. A trust that warms them from within. Whether we say we are old or new, this is something that can exist in us, and that nourishing and growing is part of our life's work.

To find God and fulfill my desires, seemed like good reasons to be joining the BKs. For that was what we found: the One we were searching for through so many births, crying for in generations and generations of earnest religious penance. And now to become the master of time, the creator, an angel, the root of the Human World Tree. It seemed like a good thing. Maybe the BKs haven't changed that much since the beginning. It is like saying, "I am Chaturburj, the four-armed one." Well, whatever it takes and you choose to enrich your experience of yourself.

How, as willing to be dependent as I was, could I not have been brainwashed by someone or other? Would I have found another group that was just as good?

But who believes we need such things to be happy? Does everyone? Obviously not. Is it worse than drug addiction? Probably would have been better for that person to have comforted herself in drugs than committed suicide.

A therapist once told me--when facing such a question from me--"I never did like seeing life as either/or." Indeed framing either/or choices is one of the most central technique of manipulation. What is curious is that in each situation there are more possibilities than our consciousness is experiencing, and a mysterious way in which people including myself are able to expand in ways greater than their limited conceptions of themselves.

I would say that the BKs do well at offering the world to its new recruits.
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bro neo

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Post21 Apr 2007

I love everything I have been reading so far, love you guys.

Why did I join the BKWSU? Too much acid, man. No really, too much of the other drugs too. When I finally got off drugs, I was kind of retarded. Like I would want to talk, I would have a thought to say it, but couldn’t get my mouth to talk. I was soooo fried.

I had a near death experience, which was why I stopped using drugs, and the NDE was inexplicable empirical evidence to me that a spiritual reality did exist. The reality of karma, rebirth, God, visions and angels or higher beings were all shoved down my throat in the space of a few hours, when in the past they were just the discussions, research and ponderings of a troubled mind constantly needing to be intoxicated.

After my NDE I was a buddle of raw nerves, stumbling through a life of relationships largely based on the party lifestyle with a few New Age influences. I quickly latched on for dear life to anything spiritual I could find. I was so naive. I experienced in my NDE God, higher self or what ever, having such close, direct contact and influence with me directly that I just assumed that anything and everything spiritual that was in my life was the Truth.

I had this little purple Saint Germaine book about the secrets of spiritual Alchemy that, along with some other stuff (mainly James Redfield’s Celestine Prophesy books), I would go out hiking all the time looking for nature to bring me to a level of ascension. To make a long story short, I was just trying to "Not use drugs" and the way for me was to do anything and everything that was in one way or another spiritual.

Life was hard! Relationships were hard! The initial contact I got in my NDE was gone. I was starting to drown. Then about 8 months into my sobriety, on a lunch break from work I am wandering around a part of town which I have never been, following the energy or some butterfly or something low and behold I stumble onto a New Age shop-office looking place. A Raja Yoga Center. I walk in and they say you want to see the museum? Sure, I say. And then ...

YOU ARE A SOUL! A POINT OF LIGHT! TIME IS A CYCLE! GOD IS THE Supreme Soul! DESTRUCTION IS TOMORROW! DO Raja Yoga NOW OR STAY IN HELL FOREVER! DO Raja Yoga NOW AND GO TO HEAVEN!

Ah, so I think. Everything makes sense now. All the New Age mumbo jumbo I have been studying was just the expansion of this most refined and wonderfully simple Gyan. This world is so wonderful. Life is wonderful. I have no money, but it is wonderful. Everything is wonderful. So I do the brainwashing, and what ever I can to get my seat in Heaven, and a few weeks or months later I am wearing a Badge everyday and all white, trying to convert people at my work to join the BKWSU.
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joel

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Post21 Apr 2007

bro neo wrote: a few weeks or months later, I am wearing a Badge everyday and all white, trying to convert people at my work to join the BKWSU.

What a Nightmare of Being Living Dead!! As BKs we do collapse our characters down and become zombies in some respects. Some of us. We are the 'bricks that break.'
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