How to be the God's beloved and have love for other person?

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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bro neo


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Post18 Apr 2007

These are the main reasons I left Gyan. If you’re a BK read the list at your own risk. One of the 10 might be what sets you free.

The top 10 reasons why I left the BKs
    10: The Divine Family.
LoL! No one is Karmateet yet. Everyone is still an effort maker. I need to check myself. Her problem is really my own problem! LMAO! The Shrimat where Baba will be responsible if a senior tells you to do something and you do it will only go so far. Especially, when every Sari wearing circus animal is a Senior compared to you.
    9: Discrepancies in Gyan.
If Gyan is really given by the all knowing, all everything, blah blah then why doesn’t Gyan just come complete? Because if it was it would not be accepted by the children? Because of drama? Hmpt! Also, why doesn't the Ocean of Knowledge seem to know anything about quantum physics? Curious.

In the last few months of my BK life I had learned how to analyze my dreams. From my dreams, I could see my subconscious perception of the family and BKWSU, not pretty. I also saw I was loosing faith.
    8: Spiritual Arrogance.
My personal opinion about Gyan's view towards other religions was it did not seem to view other religions in a benevolent manner. It just did not quite sit right in my intellect why even Jesus Christ was not appreciated more. If we are the highest on high angels of the one true religion, then shouldn't we be more compassionate and benevolent to the wannabes?
    7: Yoga.
When I went into remembrance, I sought to have Yoga with the highest supreme God. That was where I directed my mind to go. This Yoga seemed to be leading me away from the BKWSU. In the last part of my BK life I did not even like to direct my mind to Shiv Baba, I wanted to make sure I was having Yoga with the intended party (the highest God) just in case the BKWSU 'might' have got the whole God thing wrong.
    6: Promotion.
I was about to be given increased responsibility. Moving to another less developed country where Lokiks were easy pickings for a Master Ocean of Knowledge like me. My perception of the karmic repercussions of teaching truck loads of others to give up the world and surrender to the BKWSU and Didi Nirmila made me feel, to say the least, uneasy. The final days I was churning out poison from the Gyan instead of butter so, finally, faith in my own interpretations won.
    5: Personal Development.
I was researching many different forms of spiritualities, some of which involved spiritual and energy healing such as Reiki. I did my research behind closed doors for the most part. The opinion I got from the family for energy healing was a big no-no. I was told by a good friend-brother from the UK that Janti said anyone can develop these healing abilities but that it wasn't good for Gyani souls to do it. This seemed absolutely absurd considering what kind of service 'energy healing' combined with Raja Yoga could do. So I did my research and experimentation mainly in private. When I left Gyan, it felt I was evolving in some way.
    4: Morning class:
When I first got into Gyan, I loved Morning Class. I loved Amirt Vela. I loved it all. But as my lens of perception changed from, "I have finally come home to Angels and I am one of them" to, "what a bunch of monkeys", everything became a burden, especially listening to some half wit give her drooling interpretation of Murli every morning.
    3: Amrit Vela.
During my last few months with the BKWSU the first few thoughts of the each morning was pretty much guaranteed to be, "Oh God! Not another day of this, argh, my back, oh, its 3:55. Oh God ..."
    2: Freezing cold baths in India.
Why are there no showers in India? Why, why, why? Is there some kind of law about having to use plastic buckets to bath? Or is this just some ego trip by the Seniors to put all the ordinary BKs in their place.
    1: I got way too horny.
No really, I was having really disturbing dreams where I, acting like a dog with rabies, would pounce on anything that had 2 legs and try to reach orgasm before I woke. Sometimes I would wake up with a climax and other times, wake up really frustrated to be on the verge of a climax and Divine Intellect taking over the half unconscious mind, "Stop!". This started to happen in my last few months of Gyan, I think it even happened during my last visit to Maduban. I felt so bad about that, but sex just feels SOOOoooo good.
"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." - Morpheus
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Mr Green


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For the privileged only

Post19 Apr 2007

There are nice hot showers in India, but only for the privileged :lol:.
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Re: For the privileged only

Post25 Apr 2007

mr green wrote:There are nice hot showers in India, but only for the privileged :lol:.

Hey, you only tell us this now! I would have tried much harder to become one of the privileged if I knew that showers were available ... but I do remember going once to the main centre in Varanasi in winter and one bro warmed up the water for us Western softies.

I left Gyan and closed the centre because I knew I could no longer follow the celibacy rule. and looking back I did not want to feel guilty aboaut being sexual. I thought that was the main reason until after I'd actually left and then over the next long while so much more surfaced (and still does!) as to the real reasons why I left. Much of which has been written about in this forum posting. I cannot see much difference as to why I left against everyone else's reasons. The truth seems to be much the same for everyone on this forum - couldn't take the bull anymore. Our own inner Truth won't allow us to live in anything but our own truth.

My own Sister told me that it was good to see me laugh again - and that struck home that I was back in happiness, and in my own truth, and no longer battling against repressive processes. I just had to live my life. With all its ups and downs and keep surfacing and swimming. And I do.

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BK supporter

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Post25 Apr 2007

No one can say for sure with regards to lust and punishment. Perhaps we could say 'It is not what you do, it is the consciousness that you do it in'. Can you love/ interact/ have sex with your partner without "negative" attachment? This whole subject will continue to arise as time goes on and is very important for BKs/ xBKs.

Celibacy in Raja Yoga is a practical thing and not just a moral thing, if for moral reasons at all (my opinion). The yogi is celibate because the sexual energy powers the rocket of the soul. If you are not practising BK Raja Yoga, then you don't need to keep hold of your sexual energy in the same way. Optional in other words. That is not to say that you will not have to face the consequences of your actions in future.

What if you had never come across BK Raja Yoga? So you could look at it and say, anything I have learnt from it is a bonus, and I am now back to normal, a free human being with options. The stuff you forget is probably not of much use to you. That which remains may be. Let that which is no longer of use to you go, no matter what its source. You may change your mind next year, which is OK.

On the other hand, if you are practising BK Raja Yoga, then you are foolish to let go that special vitality/energy as you are waisting your time trying to practise true BK Raja Yoga without it. The souls who are in with the woodwork will develop methods and may even kid themselves in order to remain celibate etc. Fine, on the inside, but when you leave the path (possible?) in a practical way, you need to completely re address your life and understand that you are dealing with powerful energy and ask yourself what you are going to do about it beyond your Yagya days. This energy is entitled to and demands respect.

Don't kid yourself otherwise, especially if you have a family. Having said all that, I have no opinion on this subject, I don't know what is best, right, wrong, perhaps all of these terms are wrong. I will leave it there as there will be more discussion on this no doubt. Have mercy on the self.


not sure

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Re: Why I left the BKWSU

Post18 Jul 2007

proy wrote:
ex-l wrote:Is there another topic for "Why I left the BKWSU?". I left because I really wanted to make a difference for the world, not sit around in stupid service meeting discussing ways of self-advertising and I had no interest in investing myself in becoming a career Brahmin by submitting to the SS.

I got sick of the hypocrisy, the stupidity, the repressed lesbian lovers, the domestic tiffs and lost all respect for the Seniors. I could be specific but I complain too much. On a personal level I quite liked the Seniors and felt compassion for them stuck in their roles but I could not look up to them for going along with it. At that time it was pretty rare for BKs to leave and it took effort.
ex-l wrote:No, BKs, it is not as simple as being pulled away by Maya or falling to lust. There is much more to life than you think.

Good idea, ex-l.

I firstly left because of the bullying and the hypocrisy. The small scale stuff that goes on every day in the centres. People pretending to be nice and smiling, while you know they are fuming with anger inside. People being control freaks and ordering me around all the time. Finding myself trying to please people by thinking in the approved fashion, or rather not thinking, but accepting the so called paradoxes in Gyan. It was only later that I admitted to myself that they were not paradoxes but glaring inconsistencies. That the whole of Gyan just did not add up, and that I did not believe it at all anymore.

Then I heard some stuff privately about financial abuse, and bully boy tactics on the Wiki. Then I came back to reading this forum regularly, but with different eyes, the scales had fallen. I saw that many people had the same experience as me. Only when I told other ex-BKs that I know in person did I realise that the hypocrisy, betrayal, and bullying is commonplace. It is institutionalised bullying and control freakery. I realised eventually that the BKWSU is not at all what I would recognise as a spiritual organisation, but that its main aims and motives are fame and money.

Then I got on to the realisation that I had been psychically abused, which I have documented elsewhere. There are still individual BKs I know and like, but they are poor lost souls really. Is the original Yoga still in there somewhere? I do not know, and I do not meditate at all now because I want to steer well clear of whatever spooks they are collaborating with.

That which both of you (ex-l and proy) write here pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I did not get involved with the organisation that much as you did, therefore I don't have the experience of the "stupid service meeting discussions". I did however get very involved in the faith and mindset. And I somehow felt all of that which you describe above.

When I met the BKWSU, I was in a point in my life where I had failed in many respects. I was questioning whether I had based my life on the right view of reality and the right values. I was (and still am) very idealistic and wanted to help other people as well as myself. I was (and still am) what you call in my language "addicted to harmony". I could not stand that there is so much misunderstanding in the world.

The BKWSU seemed to offer me a way out of all of this. It seemed to offer me a way of basing my life on a consistent base of ideas and views and to offer a way of getting along with myself and with other people in a better way.

Somehow I have alsways seen myself as someone who wants above all to serve/save others and serve/save "humanity", as presumtuous as it may sound. I wanted to make a difference. My focus has perhaps always been too much on the "ask what you can do for your fellow humans" side and not enough on the side of "ask what your fellow humans can do for you". The people at the BKWSU told me that they offered a way in which I could serve myself and serve others by that.

However, with time I discovered that this "service to others" was allowed only meant to be possible by "radiationg good thoughts and good wishes" and by bringing others into the BKWSU as well because this was seen as "the only way of *really* helping others". That which I saw as real help untill I met the BKs was seen as bad because it would bring karma and bondage. I realise now that this was really turning my beliefs about what helping was nearly into its opposite.

I mean "radiating good thoughts and good wishes" may help others if it is coupled with action, but the BKWSU - yes, I dare say it - indoctrination - was on the other side ever pulling me away from other people and real action on behalf of others was seen as (bad) karma.

Now I realise that the BKWSU hasn't even offered me a way to help myself. Indeed I feel that it has offered me a way to further destroy myself, and that this is not only so because of me being who I am, perhaps just not being ready for the truth, perhaps just not being a Brahmin soul, but that it is in the way of the BKWSU to do this to people. So if I had been successfull in converting other people I would have - very likely - not have helped them either but also put them on the track of destructive thinking.

So in this light the BKWSU had actually turned my beliefs of how to help other people into its opposite.

I never really wanted to become a deity in the Golden Age because of the gold and luxury, or because I wanted to become a king or queen over my subjects there, or a godess that would be worshipped later in The Cycle. I wanted to live in the Golden Age because there was to be no social conflict there and I would do no harm to others.
proy wrote:Basically I see the BKWSU as the Kirpalani family business, still run by Lehkraj and the Seniors, and doing very well too, as a business, but I did not join to get a job, I joined to get enlightened. :oops:

To be honest, while I also joined "to get enlightened" or only to understand better and act better in the world, I wouldn't have minded to get a job at the same time, also. Only I would have had to be sure that I was doing the right thing by doing this job. And I think this is not possible with a job with BKWSU. And it should have been not only a job, but enlightenment also.

Thank you, ex-I for saying that life outside the BKWSU is possible and possible to be joyfull, after leaving. That gives me courage. You sound self-confident. This is something that I had pretty much lost since I came into the world of the BKWSU, and which got less and less while inside. ("Being inside" in my case doesn't mean going to the center as much as being inside the way of thinking and feeling that the BKWSU induced in me.)

Kind regards, Ardhana.


not sure

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Post18 Jul 2007

Hello Bro Neo!

Thank you for sharing your ten points. I can find myself in that very much, though details vary. It is very nice to see that others had the same problems that I had. It supports my feeling that it is not just me not making enough effort but something that is bound to happen if you get deeply involved with the BKWSU.

I still have a problem though. I think that perhaps this in only so because I am really not a Brahmin soul. I still have the thought in myself that perhaps I am just not a strong enough soul to take benefit from the BKWSU teachings.

And I sure still wish it all to be true, because it would be so nice to experience life in the Golden Age. This is why I have labeled myself as "not sure", because as much as I begin to see on the rational side of my mind that Gyan and life in the BKWSU is destructive, my irrational side still clings to the nice and beatiful promises I was made there.

I felt that the way of living in the material world and of thinking tought there was making me weaker, because it needed much more energy. Always questioning your actions whether they were just out of "selfish" body consciousness or out of "real love". (A distiction I think now is flawed.) But on the other side I was promised that I could get all the energy that I needed to cope with that way of life from the meditation.

Well, I couldn't. While meditation was really pleasurable it seemed in the long run not to make me stronger, but weaker, also.

Kind regards,

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Post18 Jul 2007

I'd like to mention that from my point of view, the Golden Age is right here, right now, and its up to each individual to create it in terms of their own experience and desire and not something to wait for and hope will happen. Most BKs I know are just waiting for it all happen as if they're living in a pipe dream ... but I do also grant that for some people it may be easier than others to make this happen in their lives.

Perhaps learning how to take responsibility for one's own happiness is a step in this direction? ...
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bro neo


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Post18 Jul 2007

Hi ardhanarisvara!

When I was in Raja Yoga, I sought out every single Murli ever written to find every point Baba ever said so that I could interpret his wisdom and teachings as perfectly as I could. I did it to the best of my ability for a long enough time to get into the Golden Age, if it exist. When I left the BKWSU, I also made an effort to make a clean break from the family so that my leaving would cause as little disruption as possible. In other words I believed, I did, I had doupt and then left, but covered my arss just in case.

Sure, even after years of leaving I still have that fleeting thought that, hey, maybe I did the wrong thing. Maybe Raja Yoga is real and the truth and the way, but this thought is weak and doesn't last long.

There are too many sects, spiritualities, cults, religions etc, that say they are the path and the truth and that everyone else is wrong. All of these cults have one thing in common. There claim to being the one path and the one way to the one truth cannot be proven.

I thought, in my pre-Pajama wearing days, that since so many of the early Raja Yogis had visions and went into trance and that people still do that Raja Yoga must be true. I then did everything and waited for my vision.

Some people don't get visions. Bite me. I was putting my faith into my perception of other people's believed or made up perceptions. I put faith in others God because I had no real experience of God that I believed in of my own.

Well, I finally face the cold bitter reality that I need to find my own experience of spirituality and that no other person can give me a greater truth then what I find and experience for myself.

My point of reference for finally deciding Gyan is not the truth, for me, was a near death experience I had a couple of years prior to my encounter with the BKWSU. There were some similarities, but also some discrepancies, so eventually I just decided I need to know and am willing to do anything to find the truth, even if it meant giving up everything I had worked for and had faith in for the past few years.

I decided to believe in what I experienced, as dissected by my rational mind, rather then what other people told me and believed in for themselves.

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