Post-cult therapy

for concern over cult-related damage, institutional abuse & psychological problems.
  • Message
  • Author
User avatar

tinydot

ex-BK

  • Posts: 327
  • Joined: 07 Jun 2006

Re: close the deal and disappear

Post12 Oct 2007

alladin wrote:Apart from the quality of the product and honesty of the salesmen, which are questionable, what appears evident is that they do not provide "after sales" service or "customer care"! The way business is run in corrupt and underdeveloped countries by people who are short-sighted and cannot think long-term. Acquiring as many clients as possible, losing them and fishing for some more to keep the portfolio fat.

If you are talking about business in general, yes I agree with you. But I would not be biased against third world countries. In my observation, BKs living in a third world countries, except India, are "more honest" (i.e. less corrupt) that those living in the first world countries, like UK and USA.
User avatar

alladin

no label

  • Posts: 917
  • Joined: 27 Feb 2007

Tempted by luxury

Post13 Oct 2007

I agree. I was referring to lack of service and guarantees for customers in poorer countries. It's also true that in such places, BK are possibly safer from temptations of the pomp and show of Maya in the West!! But it's all Kaliyug. It's not that companies or manufacturers are "fair", for instance in the US etc, they just want to avoid trouble of complaints, being sued etc!!

It gave me the creeps, everytime I picked up in a BK instrument that vibration of being impressed by luxury (a contact soul's mansion, a more posh center, etc). It sounded so out of place. As if all of a sudden that supposed to be yogi soul in front of me was fading and a frustrated lady with ambitions for Rolexes and designers' clothes manifested.

Conversely, there are Yogi souls in the BKWSU that function and make things move on the basis of the "unlimited" power of silence, holding Baba's hand and letting Karankarawanhar work through them so door open without begging or manipulation. It's a different world based on different principles and priorities, and different mechanisms which Baba calls " the right method". I still believe in it. Although such community is a small, invisible and powerful one.

Those who get easily impressed by matter, are themselves body-conscious, shallow and don't leave space for Baba to do his job, due to ego I think. So, when temptations come, they are already out of the "canopy of protection" of higher vibes and are vulnerable, just like any agyani soul.
User avatar

enlightened

ex-BK

  • Posts: 208
  • Joined: 30 Aug 2007

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post30 Jun 2013

I thought those recovering from the Brahma Kumaris Cult might be interested in reading the attached article.

Enlightened

Cults FINAL TTMay13.pdf
Working with cult survivors by Gillie Jenkinson
(232.7 KiB) Downloaded 706 times
Working with cult survivors

Gillie Jenkinson describes the sophisticated techniques used by cults to manipulate members, and the lasting effects on their sense of self.
User avatar

Mr Green

ex-BK

  • Posts: 1877
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post01 Jul 2013

i have given up on therapy now, I am poor and can only get what the NHS can offer.
User avatar

enlightened

ex-BK

  • Posts: 208
  • Joined: 30 Aug 2007

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post01 Jul 2013

Mr Green wrote:i have given up on therapy now, I am poor and can only get what the NHS can offer.

Mr Green

I, too, am not rich, however, if you really look around, you can do many things for free or low cost to help you on your journey of recovery ... that is the only way I have managed to survive so far. If you are lucky, you might even find a good therapist under the NHS ... then what you can do, is ask them to read the link I sent regarding working with cult survivors for them to try and understand what you have been through.

The other thing is doing some creative pursuits ... there are many free creative pursuits available. In the UK, you just have to dig deep to find them.

Also, there are recovery colleges for mental health around the UK. If you are in London, there are recovery colleges in Central London and South West London where they run lots of free courses to help deal with the symptoms of your experiences ... I am not suggesting that you suffer from mental health issues, however, cults survivors often suffer from some kind of side effects of depression or breakdown and so, these places can be a very supportive environment to regain hope in one's life, take control of one's life again and find opportunities to move on in one's life.

Then there are other pursuits such as gardening, bird watching etc which may help us to ground ourselves again and connect us back to mother nature. Again, these activities can be done for free in some places.

Then there are meet up groups around the UK and other parts of the world. Many of them are free such as laughter Yoga or anything that tickles your fancy ...

From my personal experience, I feel that recovery requires more than just therapy.

I hope that this helps in some way...

Unfortunately, we are left responsible for taking control of our own recovery. No matter how much we point our fingers to the Brahma Kumaris or anyone else in our lives, we have to find a way of surviving and moving forward. It's important that we give a bit of energy and effort to our own recovery because this effort will eventually pay off ... It might take years and years but never give up!!! We deseve some real peace, love and happiness in our lives too!!

Take care
regards
Enlightened
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post01 Jul 2013

I hope somewhere near what you consider the end of your journey, you (and others) consider taking a training course to allow you to support or practise therapy for other cult survivors, Enlightened. I suspect that one can only gain so much by having therapy and will then gain the rest giving therapy. You've more than enough lifetime experience, and there is seemingly a severe lack of such practitioners.

It's funny how BKs don't. They try and chase money as "corporate coaches" instead.

Meanwhile, Mr Green ... I understand your situation but I agree with Enlightened. One needs to consider other activities to help with one's recovery. I suggest you look around your area for a gun club which allows you to post photographs of BK leaders at the end of the rifle range! :shock:

Yes, humour helps too ... "If you cannot fix it, at least you can laugh at it".

* (Expect a load of BKs to squeal, "oh, the ex-BK Anti-Party is planning to assassinate Dadi Janki now. It must be the End of the World!!!". Nah, don't worry chickens, she's not a target. We need her alive too in order to keep screwing up, making bad examples and prove what a bunch of "Dadi bhagats" the BKs really are ... no offence to real bhagats intended).

Brahma_Kumari_target.png
Brahma_Kumari_target.png (55.11 KiB) Viewed 23065 times

Remember your Aim and OBJECT

("To object": to express or feel disapproval, dislike, or distaste;
to be averse or refuse to permit some action, speech etc)
.

Transform the anger and upset at the very real losses you have suffered into making positive changes in world, express your own will and use the motivation to learn a useful skill at the same time.

Kill the BK god and the BK within yourself so that you may be completely re-born again, and have a fresh start. If necessary, have a fresh start every day you wake. Do not let the darkness live inside you or your life any more. Even time it pops it head up, shoot it dead.

I like the quote from the Am I Only a "Pseudo Personality"? you posted, Enlightened and I think this is very important.
Children who had a strong temperament in the group, even considered "rebellious" or "resistant" by the leaders or parents, may fare better in making an effective transition into society after they leave.

If they can connect with those feelings and behaviors that were not approved of by the group, this may show them something genuine about themselves. Part of understanding "who" they really are can even be as simple as realizing basic things about their own personal tastes.

Those basic insights into oneself can help the child survivor to understand that there really is an original self who has personal likes and dislikes, thoughts and viewpoints, interests and hobbies.

User avatar

Mr Green

ex-BK

  • Posts: 1877
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post01 Jul 2013

Thanks you two, really, thank you.
User avatar

enlightened

ex-BK

  • Posts: 208
  • Joined: 30 Aug 2007

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post01 Jul 2013

ex-l wrote:I hope somewhere near what you consider the end of your journey, you (and others) consider taking a training course to allow you to support or practise therapy for other cult survivors, Enlightened. I suspect that one can only gain so much by having therapy and will then gain the rest giving therapy. You've more than enough lifetime experience, and there is seemingly a severe lack of such practitioners.

Dear Ex-I

Thank you for your kind words ... only time will tell as to which direction my life takes me ... I have considered taking a training course in the past, however, I did not quite feel strong enough and ready for it ... you never know ... I am aware that there is a shortage of therapists for cult survivors.

I am still on the journey of getting to know myself as this process was stopped when I was a child due to the Brahma Kumaris indoctrination ... until I really know who I am ... I wont know my purpose in life, my ambitions, my goals ... I just keep the doors open on this painful, challenging but sometimes beautiful journey of self discovery.

regards
Enlightened
User avatar

enlightened

ex-BK

  • Posts: 208
  • Joined: 30 Aug 2007

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post01 Jul 2013

Another interesting article for all of us in case you havn't looked at it as yet

Recovering After Exiting a Deceptive, Exploitive Group.

Regards
Enlightened
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post02 Jul 2013

enlightened wrote: ... until I really know who I am ... I wont know my purpose in life, my ambitions, my goals ...

Oh, hey, don't worry about that ... have a few of mine (and a few of my hangups and psychodramas too)!

Was there even a you *before* the cult, En?

What if I tell you I promise you Golden Palaces and a mind control nuclear flying machine if you do it? My advice is *absolutely* free ... minus 10% of wages for life and, here, sign this 'standard Will' leaving all your worldly belongings to me you won't be needing them after we've worked you to death.
    (Just testing to see if you're cured yet ...)

raistlin

ex-BK

  • Posts: 47
  • Joined: 10 Sep 2009
  • Location: Planet Earth

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post02 Jul 2013

Hi everybody.

Mr Green, I am not rich as well, besides I cannot get a job for a long time because of the depression (I am in the moderate depression episode at the moment) that lasts and lasts... who would be that brave to employ a mentally imbalanced person? Too risky business... :shock:

I think, it is important to you to get support from other people.

Did you think to attend some meetings of Depression Anonymous group or anything similar like Depression Alliance self-help groups, just to be in a supporting group of people who experienced the same as you, you know what you have to deal with and how to get manage through it. It is very important not to let yourself to be lonely.

It is free of charge, as far as I know (at least the 12 Steps self-help groups worldwide, but I suppose those of DA are too).

Of course, it won't replace the professional psychotherapy, but it might be some helpful addition in your recovering.

Depression Alliance: Self-help groups in the UK
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10661
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post02 Jul 2013

Don't let me put anyone off. Like Mr Green, I have not been in a position to afford professional therapy. Indeed, when one is at one's lowest it is unlikely that one will have enough money to do so. It's a very good lesson in forgetting about "Laws of Karma" and instead paying for healthcare insurance that covers psychotherapy when you are well! (The BKs should stop pocketing all the money they take from their adherents and pay for a healthcare insurance policy which covers all their slaves and adherents.

Has anyone heard if the BKWSU carries *any* indemnity insurance at all?

I did once, however, try to go to therapy which entailed at first single and then group therapy. Although I don't want to pretend that I don't have 10,000 problems needing fixing ... my primary intention was an interest in becoming a counsellor/therapist. Life has put me in a position where I have had to provide support for individuals going through difficult times and I thought it would be better to learn something about it and how to do it well.

Although it is cruel and unprofessional, I have to say that there is nothing more depressing than being in a roomful of depressing people! I hated it ... I also did not see how it worked or would work, although it would be wrong and unfair to equate that my experience would be everyone's experience. I think there is a tendency within national health services to push individuals into group therapy because it is cheaper than one to one therapy and, if anyone is thinking of going for it, I would realise this and fight to go one to one for as long as you can get.

Again, when one is in a vulnerable state, one is often not as self-assertive as one should be and can equally be coerced by the system. It would seem to me to very dependent on the quality and experience of the practitioner. One might need to be a little bit difficult to get or find the right one.

Don't accept one you feel is not right for you. Your care might be the only shot you get at any treatment so put some effort into making it as best as you can.

Personally, I am therefore not in a position to say if it can help or not but I am in a position to warn about what might go wrong. I also still really don't know how it works ... even before therapy, I am more inclined to suggest individuals make sure first that they health and nutrition is as good as possible because many conditions can arise purely from a lack of a full and proper diet ... a problem if you are depressed, confused and not looking after yourself. I can be a terrible downward spiral.

Someone who watched a BK-type go through therapy also commented upon how the BK training equips one with skills to run rings round normal therapists.

On the other hand, meeting with others who had been through similar experiences I have found really inspiring and insightful, e.g. try going to some 'cult awareness' meetings if they are held in your city or nearby university. At one I met and spoke at length with an ex-Scientologist guy and it was amazing to find out how similar our experiences were. They attract a wide range of very interesting people and are not in anyway dull, boring or full of "anti-cult" people.

I'd say try and put yourself in a situation where you are surrounded or influenced by very positive and dynamic people, if necessary, trading off your usefulness for their motivation and take learn from observing them. Everyone goes through different phases and seasons ... sometimes it is your turn to be down, and others turn to be up.

But, yes, at least get checked out by a professionally to make sure you are not suffering from something that requires chemical treatment.

Talk about chemical treatments, has anyone had any experience with the usefulnesses or not of "self-medication", which could go from breaking all BK taboos by going and getting really drunk or stoned, to taking substances like MDMA or ayahuasca? I know how "naughty" this is but there has been evidence published recently to suggest that the former can help in depression and other conditions, and there is lots of talk about the psycho-spiritual effects of the later.

And, on the other hand, one might discuss the best methods of committing suicide so as not to cause yourself even more harm. So far BKs seem to have gone for; jumping from great heights, self-immolation, hanging and self wounding ... all of which sound pretty gruesome and must have arisen from a terrible state of mind.

BK Ranjana Patel, for example, took two attempts of jumping off a building. I cannot recommend that!
User avatar

Mr Green

ex-BK

  • Posts: 1877
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post02 Jul 2013

I did get checked out and was told I did not have chemical imbalance, although I did take anti-ds for a year and I hated it! Never again, I am just still really angry at them, I suppose for taking the years of my life with the most potential to effect my future! 25-35. Sister Jayanti instructed me in a private meeting to sell my flat although it carried negative equity (I took a bank loan to pay it off!). If I had kept it, it now would have more than doubled in value! Why on earth I listened to that 8888 I will never know! She used to have trouble holding drishti with Brothers, just like Maureen!

I came out dissillusioned, homeless, and more than £20,000 in debt; no friends or family, and frightened to face my family again!!!!!!!! Man, they were bad times. I was paid off in a secret meeting in Cambridge, by someone that claimed my main abuser was actually OK! She made me sign something that claimed I would not pursue them again, but I signed it with a false signature. I might still go after them, they've got millions sitting in the bank and should use it to help the healing of those they've ******* up
User avatar

enlightened

ex-BK

  • Posts: 208
  • Joined: 30 Aug 2007

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post02 Jul 2013

Mr Green wrote:I did get checked out and was told I did not have chemical imbalance, although I did take anti-ds for a year and I hated it! Never again, I am just still really angry at them I suppose for taking the years of my life with the most potential to affect my future! 25-35 Sister Jayanti instructed me in a private meeting to sell my flat although it carried negative equity( I took a bank loan to pay it off!) If I had kept it, it now would have more than doubled in value! Why on earth I listened to that 8888 I will never know! She used to have trouble holding drishti with Brothers just like Maureen!


Sorry to hear that Mr Green!! I refused to take anti depressants although they were offered to me by my GP. I am glad I did not go down that route...I was never offered an option to check if there was any chemical imbalance...how did they check this out?

Can I ask, why on earth did Jayanti ask you to sell your flat? I feel for you for all the effort you must have put in to get on the property ladder...and then to have been put in such situation all in the name of the Brahma Kumaris world spiritual university management...

I know the anger you must feel inside you, I am no less angry than yourself because I was stripped of everything that a child could possibly have...all in the name of Brahma Kumaris, their god, their destruction and their Golden Age...there comes a point of time in ones life when one has to choose to either stay stuck in the past, or accept it and move on no matter how challenging or impossible this may appear...

The Brahma Kumaris world spiritual university management crossed so many peoples boundaries and exploited and continue to exploit many peoples lives, however, we need to show them that we can regain our inner strength, true peace, love and happiness in our lives...we can regain control in our lives...there is hope...let us be strong and at least try and make something of whatever life we still have...let us make something of the remaining years will still have on this earth...

What you did was done with good intention...COME ON MR GREEN, DON'T GIVE UP ON ME BABY!!! ;)
let us show them that we can make something of our lives in the "real world" or " outside world" as they call it...
User avatar

Mr Green

ex-BK

  • Posts: 1877
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Post-cult therapy

Post02 Jul 2013

Thanks En, your a star
They did not check physically for imbalance, just a long interview really with a psychiatrist. She just said she couldn't see any benefit in me taking any drugs!
As for my flat, I was surrendered at the time and had potential. They toyed with sending me on foriegn service or opening another centre. I suggested to Jayanti we could use my flat to open another centre. When she found out the mortgage was in half mine and half my Brothers name, she said best to cut all ties with lokik relations and sell it, even though I owed money on it. That was her reasoning!

I really like what you said, as life is limited we do need to find a way to grasp the happiness we could have
PreviousNext

Return to Abuse & Recovery