How to talk to a BK about BK?

There are many "do's and don'ts" about how to talk to someone in a cult. It is hard to just listen and keep the peace if you know someone is involved and you know more. Like ... never say "you are involved in a doomsday cult", ore anything like that, that will drive them away ... Just keep peace and contact ... But somehow you have to break throw ... Any suggestions?

The Do's from The 'Do's and The Don't's of cult help

DO try to keep in regular contact via mail or telephone even if there is little response
DO express sincere love for the cult member at every available opportunity
DO keep a diary of comments, attitudes and events associated with his/her life in the cult
DO always welcome the cult member back into the family home no matter what is said
DO keep copies of all written corresponsence from you and the individual
DO record all the names, addresses and phone numbers of people linked with the cult
DO try to bite your tongue if the cult member makes unkind comments
DO read all of the recommended books relating to cults and mind control, as well as reading other information on the cult in question
DO seek help and information from organisations specialising in counter-cult work. We care about you and your individual situation

The Don'ts

DO NOT rush into adopting a potential solution before carefully researching the cult problem
DO NOT say:"You are in a cult; you are brainwashed"
DO NOT give money to the member of the group
DO NOT feel guilty. This is not a problem caused by families
DO NOT act in an angry or hostile manner towards the cult member
DO NOT feel alone. It happens to thousands of families every year
DO NOT underestimate the control the cult has over a member
DO NOT antagonise the cult member by ridiculing his/her beliefs
DO NOT be judgemental or confrontational towards the cult member
DO NOT antagonise any of the cult's leadership or members
DO NOT be persuaded by a cult 'specialist' to pay large sums of money without verifying his/her qualifications
DO NOT give up hope of success in helping your family member to leave the group no matter how long the involvement has already been
DO NOT neglect yourself or other family members

But what is the best way to challenge a dedicated BK?

But what is the best way to challenge a dedicated BK?

This is the One million Dollar question, dear jannisder.

I think "challenging" does not work with the BKs when I remember my BK years. Maybe "plant a seed of doubt and then bite your tongue" would be more effective. And then never rush and never apply any pressure on them.

My humble experiences for "planting a seed of doubt" showed me that trying to talk to them is waste of time and energy. It makes them hate you and shuts them up into themselves. Only sending some posts from this forum via mail was useful in a long period of time. If you are living under the same roof, I would say when they are home, leave the forum page with some important posts on your screen open and go out.

BKs are very well equipped against verbal attacks. Let them read the most essential posts and documents from this forum and give them space to reflect and to digest - I would say. Never open a discussion and make them defensive.

Personally, when I have obstacles for talking to my beloved ones, I have got some good results by talking silently to their higher self.

There is no way, it is their right to follow their faith, it is not wrong for them to do so, challenging them will only reinforce their faith,

all you can do is keep caring for them, if they come out they will have a friend to go to, if they don't come out, you've done the right thing

all you can do is keep caring for them, if they come out they will have a friend to go to, if they don't come out, you've done the right thing

Yes, caring is normal, but until I found this forum, years long I had no idea, that we BKs were deceived in every aspect by the Seniors .

If today a very beloved one of mine would decide to surrender, I would of course do whatever I could do - besides caring - to make them aware of the truths about this non-spiritual BK cult. Because I would never know how long and how much their life would be destroyed in "Gyan" and if I would be alive to support them when they one day would decide to come out.

Thanks for the reply, it is very helpful and thank God I am doing the right thing. Kick him out sometimes for stupid BK behaviour, but let him in again for being "normal". I do not tolerate reminders for traffic control in my house ... he took his watch off. My cooked food does not need to be cleaned by dristhi. I show off my Godly body, and touch him when I can. This weekend we go for romantic dinner as we do almost every weekend. Well, that is some progress is it not?

I have got some good results by talking silently to their higher self.

That is interesting, could you please tell me more abouth that?? PM me if you wish.

I have got some good results by talking silently to their higher self.

I do this too. People who are less in their heads tend to respond quicker though.

I did and still do all the do's and don'ts listed of how to handle a loved one in a cult. It takes a lot of patients and emotional strength, which explodes sometimes.

DO NOT say: "You are in a cult; you are brainwashed"
DO NOT give money to the member of the group
DO NOT act in an angry or hostile manner towards the cult member
DO NOT feel alone. It happens to thousands of families every year
DO NOT underestimate the control the cult has over a member
DO NOT antagonise the cult member by ridiculing his/her beliefs
DO NOT be judgemental or confrontational towards the cult member
DO NOT antagonise any of the cult's leadership or members
DO NOT give up hope of success in helping your family member to leave the group no matter how long the involvement has already been
DO NOT neglect yourself or other family members

Well, and I did this to.