Gaslighting - a little known form of abuse

Does this sound familiar?

Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception.

A psychological definition of gaslighting is:

An increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim - having the gradual effect of making them anxious, confused, and less able to trust their own memory and perception.

It is also known as the "Martha Mitchell effect", after the wife of the Attorney-General in the Nixon administration of the US government, when she alleged that White House officials were engaged in illegal activities and her claims were attributed to mental illness ... exactly as the Brahma Kumaris do to followers and ex-adherents voicing criticisms of them.

Ultimately, in her case, the relevant facts of the Watergate scandal vindicated her as being correct but that had not stopped those in power seeking to destroy her very inner being, and public credibility, in this way. Martha was even abandoned by most of her family but the deposed and dishonest ex-President Nixon later admitted that, "if it hadn't been for Martha Mitchell, there'd have been no Watergate".

The politicians even leaked to the press that she had a "drinking problem" ... exaclty as the Brahma Kumari leaders have, in reality, accused indivduals challenging their failure in their duty of care of, e.g. being drug users and that being the problem distracting from them.

Perhaps we should rename this website, "Abu-gate"? Or perhaps we are still looking for our very own "Deep Throat" and a smoke gun. The agent "Deep Throat" help uncover the web of internal spies, secret surveillance, dirty tricks and coverups that led to Nixon's unprecedented resignation and to prison sentences for some of his highest-ranking aides.

Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn't and to believe the unbelieveable.

Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. That's because it plays into one of our worst fears - of being abandoned - and many of our deepest needs: to be understood, appreciated, and loved.

The term gaslighting was coined in the George Cukor movie called, 'Gaslight - a strange drama of a captive sweetheart'. In it a woman is made to believe she is mentally ill and imagining things by her husband so that he can gain access to her finances.

He repeatedly lights a gas lamp in one part of the house, causing the other lamps in the house to become dimmer. When the main character in the movie confronts her husband about this, he repeatedly tells her that she is imagining things and that the lamps are not, in fact, dimmer ... This is part of a wider pattern of deception in which the husband manipulates small elements of his wife's environment, and insists that she is mistaken and at fault, when she challenges them.

What if I said ...

"a woman was made to believe she is utterly impure and untouchable by religious leaders who have systematically withheld factual information and provide false information to her having the gradual effect of making her anxious, confused and less able to trust their own perception so that they can gain access to her finances or free labor."

Would not that describe a Brahma Kumari follower? The facts are true ... what makes it different?

As the BKs would say, "Its her Karma ..."

BK-Gaslighting.jpg (39.76 KiB) Viewed 3535 times

Hi. This is very interesting, and according to that, it seems that the main aspect of a follower's personality BKWSO leaders and gurus aim to destroy is "self esteem". However, we have experienced, and luckily have been able to discuss on this Forum, many more mechanisms and dynamics at work, parallel to what you called gaslighting.

One is pumping up member's ego, convincing them that they are a special caste compared to ordinary people. The very fact that many messages and instructions conflict with each other, contributes to generate a state of deep confusion that can in fact be difficult to heal even after quitting the organization. In whichever direction I see, the feeling I get is that they are really messing up people's lives by messing around with their minds.

Today, for the first time, I found in a Sakar Murli (11 Dec 08) a sentence where Baba was telling us to do proselyting,

In other spiritual gatherings, they are not bound to listen and then relate that to others. Here you have to imbibe knowledge and then inspire others to imbibe it; you have to create followers.

I can relate to teaching others through example, inspiring change in others through our own transformation and increased happiness, but this sounds more like forcing Gyan down people's throats, with no mention about the benefit they should possibly get by believing and adhering to the BK doctrine. Just recruit more blood donors.

A very blunt request, yet very often contradicted by other directions in which Baba is more "philosophical" and fatalist; every actor is different in Drama, only deity souls come here every Kalpa, if they are not meant to study and imbibe, we cannot pressure them. Not to mention the Avyakt Murli where BapDada speaks about subtle service as the highest one, and the one we all can do even from a distance, when ill or when not given other chances to contribute. Benevolence, humble incognito world benefactors and good wishers, not salesmen or advertisers!

We are told that there should be no blind faith and we should see for ourselves whether Gyan is Truth or not etc ... , and next thing we are punished and shamed for asking clarifications and questions.

The list of things that do not square up is endless. Let me finish here for now. Probably most seekers who knock at the door of a Raja Yoga center are to some degree dysfunctional and, in fact, looking for help there. Confused from the beginning, through the middle, to the end and, in some case for years after returning the badge!