Remnants of fear

for concern over cult-related damage, institutional abuse & psychological problems.
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starchild

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Remnants of fear

Post14 Sep 2009

A very close loved one passed on suddenly two weeks ago. Just as I had lost very close ones years ago at a time when I was in the process of moving away from living in a bhavan, the thought came to me that it was some sort of punishment for making criticism on this forum.

I know that irrational thoughts come when one is in the grieving process. I am writing this to overrule my fear and to ask you all for your prayers and/or good wishes at this difficult time.
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alladin

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post14 Sep 2009

Sure, Starchild, have all my best wishes. And best wishes to all of us in the process of placing BK - instilled fears, under the sunlight, so that our collective dirty laundry can be disinfected and pest control can take place naturally.

Rather than punishments, I see the consequence of associating oneself a bit too carelessly to a sect: we have to work hard to get rid of fears, insecurities, guilt, dogmas, etc we absorbed from it!

But ... better late than never!
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rayoflight

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post14 Sep 2009

Dear Starchild,

Thank you for sharing your fears with us. You will be in my prayers as I regularly pray for those who wish to be freed completely from the BK life.

Your fears are BK related and not based in reality. Just to let you know, I personally know of more than five people who passed away last year some of whom were considered to be "sudden." But death will be sudden no matter what.

Whether a person is ill or gets struck down by a moving car or even lightning, we are never truly prepared for death especially when we are alive and not numbed out or brainwashed. Someone who is no longer with us is sad no matter how you look at it. We cared about their existence and that is why we are sad to see them go. It is very normal.

If punishment is in your thoughts, perhaps you are feeling guilty which is what needs to be looked at. The ego is also part of it in the sense that feeling responsible for another's death is the ego's way of saying, see how important and powerful I am and ... see how guilty you will now feel.

I am sorry you are grieving and I am sorry for your loss.

Warm regards,
rayoflight

starchild

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post14 Sep 2009

Thank You Alladin and Rayoflight.

As I said, I know that irrational thoughts come with sudden loss. Also guilt is an emotion that is part of grieving. Even if one has done everything one could for the the person who is gone we always find something to regret. It is well known to be part of the grieving process. Obviously there are remnants of fear remaining around the BK experience that I would make any connection. I do not really think that I am being punished.

It is a reaction to past trauma and a sign that indeed I have more work to do to put those feelings under the sunlight.

And Best Wishes to all of us in doing that.

Thanks again.
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ex-l

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post15 Sep 2009

If you believe in it, deaths are rebirths

Even if you do not, deaths can symbolic and mark times of rebirth.

And if you do not believe that ... then, generally, they force us to start again. Not always easy.

It is interesting. We adopt such superstitions without any explanation or understand of what the mechanics might actually be. "How" they might happen, if they could be true.

Artificial importance applied to random events. What is strange is that we largely do it all to ourselves. How and why is that?
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alladin

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pretense and fear

Post15 Sep 2009

It is a reaction to past trauma and a sign that indeed I have more work to do to put those feelings under the sunlight.

Is it possible that the very fact of having "obeyed" to the BKs for a certain length of time, makes this task more difficult, since adherents are instructed from Day 1 to pretend to be what they aren't, to adopt a camouflage that includes looks, way to talk, walk, eat, interact ... ?

Believing a lie, living in it, propagating it, pretending to be we are someone different from our real self, denying our nature, concentrating on appearances in order to please the spook and the SS! Sounds like self-torture!

And anyone who pretends to be someone different from who he is, who puts on a mask, who lives in artificiality and focuses on the external forms and survives by repeating empty formulas, is vulnerable and walks unsteadily in life, permanently fearing to be uncovered sooner or later.

starchild

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post15 Sep 2009

I think my point here is that I, and others who have posted here, were initially fearful to write some of our experiences here due to indoctrination about defamation, losing fortune, divorcing the Father etc ...

Consciously, I do not accept such a concept of a God who would not see further into the heart and mind.

In a moment of shock and distress, these fears resurfaced. Yes, it shows my own insecurities and fears, but it also shows that fears (and other notions), suggested or instilled around spirituality and God, perhaps go deeper in to our subconscious than we realize.
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rayoflight

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post15 Sep 2009

starchild wrote:shows that fears (and other notions). suggested or instilled around spirituality and God perhaps go deeper in to our subconscious than we realize.

It was this realisation that may have had the most shocking effect on me.

The insidiousness is more subtle than we ever imagined and it is with great admiration that I salute you all for having found your way out of the maze.
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Mr Green

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post15 Sep 2009

For me, certain aspects of the Brahma Kumaris teachings still haunt me now. I even find myself practising soul consciousness sometimes, seeing myself as a point of light behind the forehead, whilst I am walking around. Maybe whatever that experience is, it is a part of us anyway, just a bit unused.
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rayoflight

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post15 Sep 2009

There are at times "memories" that I have as you describe, but I am aware of them rather than participating in them.
I choose to see people as human beings now, rather than as dots on a forehead. This makes me feel much closer to humanity and more compassionate towards my fellow man/woman.

starchild

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post15 Sep 2009

Mr Green wrote:Maybe whatever that experience is, it is part of us anyway ...

Yes, these meditative experiences are our own experiences, and the BKs did not invent the third eye chakra. Although I usually try nowadays to bring the light down through all the chakras. I think it is more balanced.

I think it is a tragedy that our good experiences have (for some of us) become something we do not want to own ... because of the bad stuff that got mixed in.
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ex-l

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post16 Sep 2009

starchild wrote:I think it is a tragedy that our good experiences have (for some of us) become something we do not want to own ... because of the bad stuff that got mixed in.

I would say that this is about my bottomline. It is not possible to deny that 'certain' elements or outward manifestations are "good" or "universal". The problem is how they are being used, managed and what else is being injected into them. In truth, many of those elements came not from Lekhraj Kirpalani or the unholy ghost of the BKWSU .. but from well meaning followers putting in their good. Simple stuff like talking about virtues and many of the basic contemplations. My feeling is that they really are not what the BKWSU and the unholy ghost is really all about.

The greatest damage is that having taken the mental conditioning, and after tasting and experiencing the depth of the negativities, one is left shy and fearful of reaching out again to spirituality itself ... and all other human beings.

One is left unable to separate what is universal and absolute spirituality from what is 'owned' and trademarked by the spiritually and materially acquisitive BKWSU and its hungry god.

How can I tell if my meditation is free or I am still being sucked into to their vortex? What is the difference between a trademarked BK 'soul-conscious' experience and a third eye experience? How can one tell? Often I feel that many ex-s are still being sucked in, used by it, and are left in a very confused inner state.

Imagine being left with the fear of approaching the self, approaching one's own god, approaching true spirituality itself ... would that not be the most subtle, but ultimately "devilish", corruption of a human being?

Imagine a metaphorical "golden devil" sat right next to the gates of salvation warning and distracting everyone who approached them not to go in ... that there was nothing in there ... and instead encouraging them to surrender themselves to itself because they were obvious to gain something.
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alladin

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adventure

Post16 Sep 2009

Whilst ex-l's latest article was being posted. I was asking myself some questions that somehow tie in with the things he wrote.

What is the purpose, the significance in my/our lives of belonging to a sect and extricating myself from it? Is there a value in it? Did it make me stronger or was it just a waste of time? As ex-l said, there are some techniques and universal values that we could have learned from other sources, since they are not monopoly of the BKs. Which other benefits or assets did we inherit from our adventure?

Possibly, what has value is precisely the journey out of the BKs. The struggle in order to remain conscious and not becoming total zombies, the breaking free from the shackles, the escape, the recovery, the healing. These, like some time in a jail, a hospital or living in a country run by a totalitarian regime, can become character-building factors. Also, our discrimination power has been tested and strengthened, the importance of our gut feelings and our faith in truth ... in ethics, in the Self, and in God.

I realized when I joined this Forum that God saved me from the BKs, even though they hammered in my head the belief ... and the resulting guilt and fear ... that leaving them was losing an inheritance, and betraying God. Yet, I am not the only ex-BK who feels loved and protected by the Great Spirit. And God-God seems to appreciate the fact that, in spite of such challenges, we hold his hand and in turn he blesses and empowers us. In my perception, and unlike the "BKs God", he is not not needy, hungry nor greedy.

The "BKs God", as he presents himself in the Murlis, constantly talks about the interdependence between his children and him, as if the navel cord could never be cut and our help in his task was of vital importance. Always blackmailing and conditional love. A Dharamraj, more than anything else. I perceive a streak of insanity there, a not immediately apparent difference from what could be a healthy attitude of humans doing their part in the task of World renewal.

Sometimes he uses a squeaky voice to persuade us to stay and cooperate, "The Father cannot do without the children ...". Maybe that's the female form, a neurotic, hysterical one. "Don't leave me ... !!!" Other times the tone of the voice sounds deep like thunder, like a curse haunting us. That's the authoritarian, lawful Father. And the list of threats is long ...
The greatest damage is that having taken the mental conditioning, and after tasting and experiencing the depth of the negativities, one is left shy and fearful of reaching out again to spirituality itself .. and all other human beings..

Is there any karma worse than this, any action more vile than this?
One is left unable to separate what is universal and absolute spirituality from what is 'owned' and trademarked by the spiritually and materially acquisitive BKWSU and its hungry god ... How can I tell if my meditation is free or I am still being sucked into to their vortex?

I know. Many ex-BKs want nothing to do with God or meditation. The vortex you talk about is really frightening. These days, I seem to appreciate karma Yoga more, as if it was safer, and still is a way to feel connected to God; to be in higher consciousness whilst performing actions. I sit in meditation occasionally, and enjoy it, but also ask myself, "Is it sensible to concentrate in the center of the forehead, etc and open myself once more to whom?"
What is the difference between a trademarked BK 'soul-conscious' experience and a third eye experience? How can one tell? ... Imagine being left with the fear of approaching the self, approaching one's own god, approaching true spirituality itself ... would that not be the most subtle, but ultimately "devilish", corruption of a human being?

Imagine a metaphorical "golden devil" sat right next to the gates of salvation warning and distracting everyone who approached them not to go in ... that there was nothing in there ... and instead encouraging them to surrender themselves to itself because they were obvious to gain something.

Sounds like "Maya's shop", that sells imitation, counterfeit goods. Tough but 'no pain no gain'. Again I think experience and discernment, humility, commonsense can help. In hindsight, and thinking rationally, guilt, sorrow, uneasiness, confusion, unbalance, illnesses, eating disorders ... all the typical ailments that infest the life of a BK, cannot be instilled or triggered by the Almighty, the purest being in the Universe.

because.parmeshwar

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post28 May 2010

It causes fear many times, as it is difficult to remove BK dogma completely from mind. Recently I saw this image. It disturbed me.

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/5875/2010052511.jpg

raj.jpg
raj.jpg (35.79 KiB) Viewed 12696 times
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ex-l

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Re: Remnants of fear

Post28 May 2010

I would not worry ... some of them have been at it for 70 years and look where they are at now.

It is funny how much the BKs have adopted from Christianity. This is obviously drawn by one of the Western BKs, but I suspect Lekhraj Kirpalani was also strongly influenced by some Christian missionary during his time in Calcutta which was the center of the British India empire at that time.
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