Alladin wrote:What is the state of mind of people who wait in anticipation for the apocolypse
Given the various crises that the world faces, it would be reasonable enough to consider that the possibility of disasters happening could be real enough. We have seen the devastation caused by the two world wars, and with the more "advanced weaponry" now ... However, I do not think any sane or compassionate person would desire it. The BKs want it, the sooner the better. Now one of their big notions is that they will be comforting all the suffering souls at that time. I take huge issue with this. After all, they cannot comfort those in distress who are sitting next to them and who they supposedly consider to be their divine family.
Now maybe they believe that everyone will be happier in the peaceful zone. They, of course, will be totally happy in Satyug, being MASTERS OF THE WORLD. That language in itself is highly suspect. Have there been threads already on the time frame of the BKs beginnings and the fact that it seems closely aligned to the rise of fascism on the world stage?
Audacity,
My comments to you about post traumatic stress, was due to reading your posts about your difficulties and experiences and that I seem to have gone through some similar reactions and struggles.
You say that you do not feel you have the symptoms of it, however I skimmed through that article that you included and it seems to me that a lot of people on this site have some of the described symptoms.
Unfortunately, it is difficult for me to isolate how much of the trauma I experienced was related to the BK experience or the leaving of it, or how much was around the tragedy that happened to very close members of my family. What I do know is that the BK experience compounded and increased the problems and also I believe caused a long delay in my coming to a point of finding appropriate help.
I have related parts of this before, and hoping that it is not too tedious, I will write again as some of it directly related to some of the points you have brought up in your posts.
Firstly, you had brought up the subject of whether leaving with a bang or leaving gradually is different.
I was living in a bhavan, and had come to a point where I wanted to move out. At that point I did not feel I was leaving, although having huge difficulties, I thought taking a little distance. I also wanted to get back to college, which I had left to dedicate myself completely to the spiritual path. After all, I thought I had found God. I was by this stage having major doubts about that too but I was in a state of confusion and distress. And, having the conflicts of the threatened punishment, also being not sure whether I was making the right decision etc etc, I knew I was in quite a bad place, and had made the decision to move out. As you all know how isolating that is, what with the label of traitor, failure and all the rest.
Before I had a chance to move however, disaster struck. Some members of my family, who I was personally very close to, died in most horrific circumstances. In my state, after living a surrendered BK life for a number of years, I felt like the very severe punishment promised. But also it seemed that it was those I loved who were the victims of this punishment. Yes, I know that will sound quite mad but I suppose I was quite mad with grief and confusion. I was blasted, overwhelmed with grief and shock.
The outcome was that I stayed another year, and then one day, after a year during which I experienced their discomfort at my (suppressed) distress, the lack of care, the savagely insensitive comments about the KARMA of my loved ones, etc etc ... the list goes on. Well, one day I found myself a flat and left. I did not feel much about the BKs at that time. If I thought about it, it would have been with mixed feelings.
For the next couple of years, it was as much as I could do to get myself through from day to day. My hair fell out, I found some physical therapies helpful but, within all this, I was lost and vulnerable in the way that you described yourself to be.
You experienced in that state, a rape that had been predicted as a punishment if you left. The physical assault itself would have been a huge trauma but, compounded by the unreal state and threats, it surely must have had a damaging effect.
Also the fact that you have difficulties, the feeling of not being able to 'get anywhere', and the lingering fear of punishment are also things I have struggled with.
I got through from day to day in some sort of a way, for a number of years but I was not functioning very well. I tried a few counsellors during that time but they were not suitable for various reasons. I may come back to that again if it would be helpful to you.
Eventually, at a time when I was at a very low ebb, I was put in touch with counseling service. It was a particularly caring environment. They specialized in grief counseling, and counseling people to come to terms with terminal illness among other things. I think this particular therapy is called integrated humanistic approach.
For me, therapy is about creating a safe space. First of all, I had to allow the trauma and grief that I was desperately trying to hold down to surface. A good therapist will help to guide one so that it is not overwhelming. I have also found that creating this space enables the management of issues. In a sense, it is as if you can compartmentalize the problems rather than suppressing, or being driven mad from repetitive thoughts going round and round. You can allow it come up at an appropriate time and then, after working through it, at the right time let it go. It is very painful at times, but for me it was necessary to deal with things, as not to was completely disabling.
Eventually other issues came up in therapy, such as family dynamics, parent and sibling relationships and so forth.
The BK involvement came up at various time and although my therapist never guided me to engage that much with it in my counseling, I had the overriding sense around it of added loss and spiritual betrayal. I don't think I really examined it all that much until I came across this site last year. Then, when I saw that others had experienced the same sense of betrayal and lack of care, I suppose I felt a kinship and wanting to share.
I do not know if this is in any way helpful. I know for myself it is a great help to me when others write about their experience and I say to myself, 'yes, I know exactly that how that feels'. It takes the isolation out of it, because I have just realized that I do not discuss it with other people for the most part.