Experiences of negative psychic influence/possession for BKs
Posted: 03 Nov 2009
Hi,
as a new member here (and as a long-time ex-BK still experiencing many lingering mental/spiritual problems), I am wondering if anyone is willing to talk openly about experiences of negative psychic influence, post-hypnotic suggestions or even "possession" during or after the BKs? And, of course, methods of successfully overcoming these experiences. I am not really into the spiritual spooky stuff, and prefer a psychological approach to explain my experiences, but I am curious to hear about other's experiences and opinions.
I can clearly remember in the early 1980s, in my second or third year of my BK indoctrination, that one young female BK was deemed to be experiencing some kind of negative spiritual possession. I heard from my pukka BK Sisters that the BK center heads had had to call a Catholic priest to do an exorcism! I do remember questioning this - firstly, how and why the girl managed to get "possessed" in the first place and, secondly, why the BKs couldn't deal with it themselves? The only answer I got was that it was that soul's karma and she was obviously not practicing meditation properly, and it was OK to utilize a Catholic priest for exorcism as they were good at that kind of thing ... much like you would call in a plumber to fix a blocked drain.
Needless to say this was one factor leading to my eventual realisation that God was definitely not teaching us, and that these people running BK centers and teaching the "highest level of meditation" actually had no proper training, nor any real idea of what they were doing!
From a personal experience point of view, after leaving the BKs almost 25 years ago (after being strongly warned by the center head of my imminent rape and punishment during the 1986 Destruction), I have certainly experienced an extraordinarily long string of "Bad Karma" which I have always put down to my own mind being influenced by negative subconscious programming. But sometimes there has been some really weird stuff, that if I allow myself to feel paranoid, seems to be almost like "influence" from outside forces.
I won't go into the details here yet, other than to say that over the past 25 years an uncanny number of accidents have happened to me - always at a point in my life when I finally build up enough energy and determination to make the kind of positive lifestyle changes that would finally throw off the remnants of BK conditioning.
And the other thing that I experience is a kind of passive mental blankness that comes over me when I am trying to focus on making those positive changes that would allow me to have a normal life. That state of mental blankness is very hard to describe. I can remember noticing it first about 6 months after I left the BKs - and my sense of frustration that I wasn't able to achieve certain simple things because of it. I can actually remember asking an older non-BK acquaintance why I couldn't seem do many things that I wanted to do. He was not aware of my previous cult experience, and so his reply was that it was merely my lack of willpower as a 21-year-old.
Nowadays, people who know me consider that I have tremendous willpower, but they do mention that "I" sort of disappear every now and again.
Anyway, all constructive comments would be appreciated, as I am wondering how best to deal with all this - as I have been trying to get on with my life, make plans, undergo normal psychotherapy etc but have had little success.
Thanks
as a new member here (and as a long-time ex-BK still experiencing many lingering mental/spiritual problems), I am wondering if anyone is willing to talk openly about experiences of negative psychic influence, post-hypnotic suggestions or even "possession" during or after the BKs? And, of course, methods of successfully overcoming these experiences. I am not really into the spiritual spooky stuff, and prefer a psychological approach to explain my experiences, but I am curious to hear about other's experiences and opinions.
I can clearly remember in the early 1980s, in my second or third year of my BK indoctrination, that one young female BK was deemed to be experiencing some kind of negative spiritual possession. I heard from my pukka BK Sisters that the BK center heads had had to call a Catholic priest to do an exorcism! I do remember questioning this - firstly, how and why the girl managed to get "possessed" in the first place and, secondly, why the BKs couldn't deal with it themselves? The only answer I got was that it was that soul's karma and she was obviously not practicing meditation properly, and it was OK to utilize a Catholic priest for exorcism as they were good at that kind of thing ... much like you would call in a plumber to fix a blocked drain.
Needless to say this was one factor leading to my eventual realisation that God was definitely not teaching us, and that these people running BK centers and teaching the "highest level of meditation" actually had no proper training, nor any real idea of what they were doing!
From a personal experience point of view, after leaving the BKs almost 25 years ago (after being strongly warned by the center head of my imminent rape and punishment during the 1986 Destruction), I have certainly experienced an extraordinarily long string of "Bad Karma" which I have always put down to my own mind being influenced by negative subconscious programming. But sometimes there has been some really weird stuff, that if I allow myself to feel paranoid, seems to be almost like "influence" from outside forces.
I won't go into the details here yet, other than to say that over the past 25 years an uncanny number of accidents have happened to me - always at a point in my life when I finally build up enough energy and determination to make the kind of positive lifestyle changes that would finally throw off the remnants of BK conditioning.
And the other thing that I experience is a kind of passive mental blankness that comes over me when I am trying to focus on making those positive changes that would allow me to have a normal life. That state of mental blankness is very hard to describe. I can remember noticing it first about 6 months after I left the BKs - and my sense of frustration that I wasn't able to achieve certain simple things because of it. I can actually remember asking an older non-BK acquaintance why I couldn't seem do many things that I wanted to do. He was not aware of my previous cult experience, and so his reply was that it was merely my lack of willpower as a 21-year-old.
Nowadays, people who know me consider that I have tremendous willpower, but they do mention that "I" sort of disappear every now and again.
Anyway, all constructive comments would be appreciated, as I am wondering how best to deal with all this - as I have been trying to get on with my life, make plans, undergo normal psychotherapy etc but have had little success.
Thanks