The dangers of abuse

for concern over cult-related damage, institutional abuse & psychological problems.
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Wonieka A. Meuter

  • Posts: 29
  • Joined: 28 Dec 2012
  • Location: The Netherlands

The dangers of abuse

Post04 Jan 2013

Everyone has to do with power and powerlessness. Everyone has been in a situation where they abused their power or has been abused by the power that someone or a group exercised over them.

Most people grew up with parents who interacted with them as if they knew better what is good for their children and what they need. That usually started on day one, in which it was not looking at the needs of the baby but where a schedule was followed when the child was to be fed. Most children unlearn following their own needs. A parent exercises power over a child, because they do not have the skills to deal with their children without coercion, manipulation or control. One can see that power emanates from impotence. Because the parent has not learned to recognize their own needs and to communicate, it will also exercise power over themselves in the form of suppressing their own feelings and needs. Thereby parents will rather deal with their children from standards, by making clear what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.

Most people have learned as a child that you better trust another, i.e. rather their parents or other adults than themselves. They have lost a larger or smaller part of their power. Because they often could not openly make use of their power, they are indirectly continue to exercise their power, as people they become in very different ways a stooge of others. Often this is not clearly visible because it was not accepted and certainly not like girls. We learned to suppress our own interests and needs for the benefit of others, because that was needed to survive and not to fall outside the group.

The world is populated by people who have lost the power over themselves because they are going to suppress their own needs. Often they do not feel it no longer. This also applies to secular leaders and a lot of spiritual leaders. Also, many of which are far removed from himself. To me, this seems to be more extreme in all layers of society.

As long as you are suppressing yourself, you will have less quickly have an eye on the oppression of others. As long as it is familiar to you that others decide for you what is good for you, you will easily relinquish power. Others can only scare you for the devil, Maya etc if you are afraid of the devil (or evil) in yourself. The devil or Maya is not something outside of you but in yourself. If you have faced the evil in yourself, you have nothing to fear and you can see outside yourself to others with compassion.

If you have been damaged by abuse of power in your childhood, you are vulnerable to manipulation. The desire for healing and to fulfil the needs that ever have remained unfulfilled, can make you open to ideologies that promise you a better world and for achieving happiness. This also applies to organizations that promise you wealth and prestige. In addition, some (religious or spiritual) groups say also that you are chosen, that you are very special and better than the remaining world. Finally, you will be recognized! Finally you will be seen in who you are. That can give you a great sense of power.

After some time, you have been affiliated with a group or organization where you stepped in with heart and soul because of the ideology and promises which have been made, it may be clear that it was less ideological than you thought and not free. The organizational structures may become too tight. Depending on your survival patterns you can live with or not. Some are easy going, accustomed as they are to want to prove, to be a ringleader and wanting to flatter or just to conform. If you’re not so good at, it can be difficult because you're less important. Others will exert power over you if you do not yourself.

If you decide to get out of such a group or organization it can be very difficult, because it can feel like leaving your family or that you lose your only opportunity to achieve liberation. Then you may be quite disillusioned, angry and even psychologically dislocated. You did not receive what you searched for. The unfulfilled needs are still not met. Not by others, because it could not. Once outside the group you can stay mad and continue to accuse the authorities as it were your parents who have not taken their responsibility by not fulfilling your needs.

As long as you do not know how you can take responsibility for your own needs, you will continue to put it in another, you openly or in hidden way require that others do, that others want to care for you. You will accuse others of the power they exert and meanwhile you also exercise power in a way that is not free. In any position or function that you hold you can exercise power, in which it is important to get something better for yourself. Power is largely used to be important, to be someone and exercise control. You will strengthen your own position because it is necessary for you and therefore unfree, thus always at the expense of another.

If you want a different world then you can only change your own world, by becoming aware of your needs and take responsibility for them. If you want a peaceful world it is important that you are no longer practicing violence to yourself and your body, and you stop to suppress yourself. If you are free in expressing your feelings and emotions, you can also let free another. If you are so free that you can fully live your power and light, then you unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

© Wonieka A. Meuter

I made an English translation for this blog, I have written it on 04-01-13 at http://ont-wikkelennaarheel-zijn.wordpress.com I am not very good in English, so excuse for the insufficient translation.
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howiemac

ex-BK

  • Posts: 215
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  • Location: Scotland

Re: The dangers of abuse

Post06 Jan 2013

Thanks for translating this into English. Your English is better than that of many native speakers. I recognised aspects of my own journey in what you wrote, and so it rings true for me. Yes, it is so vital to retain (or regain) self-sovereignty. And, only through transforming ourselves can we transform others.

I understand that top (as in effective, not famous) psychiatrists recognise that the vast majority of the human race are clinically pathological - unable to "be themselves", or even to recognise this failure - and instead act out their lives according to the very small restricted worldview that their parents (and society of that time) programmed them with in their formative years (which in turn was handed down from previous generations). They are completely caged and programmed, and cannot break out of this (and cannot be helped to do so even by professional analysts) unless they themselves recognise that there is a need for change - and most are not capable of recognising this. My own parents and family are like this, and I recognised the same traits in most BKs.

Those of us who have retained, or regained, the facility to think for ourselves, are the very fortunate minority - and we are persecuted for it by the masses with their consensus tiny worldview.

This problem has ushered in the end of our "civilisation": it is irretrievably broken, with most people no better than zombie drones, doing exactly what they are told (consume, work, consume), by an elite of controllers, who themselves are also zombie.

Thankfully the reboot is now in progress - the age of control has passed, and the systems of control are now breaking.

We can look forward to a happier future, as we continue to work on eliminating the toxic vestiges of our own pre-programming.

Wonieka A. Meuter

  • Posts: 29
  • Joined: 28 Dec 2012
  • Location: The Netherlands

Re: The dangers of abuse

Post06 Jan 2013

I am very glad of your writing. As though I therefore can breathe a bit easily. A sort of sigh of relief.

I've met a few people understand it this way. On the way you bring it into words. As you wrote:
They are completely caged and programmed, and cannot break out of this (and cannot be helped to do so even by professional analysts) unless they themselves recognise that there is a need for change - and most are not capable of recognising this.
And even if you recognize, it is not easy to practice. It can be very anxious to get to the bottom of your fears. As you only can come from a vortex by go along to the end of the drain, instead of fighting.

Those of us who have retained, or regained, the facility to think for ourselves, are the very fortunate minority - and we are persecuted for it by the masses with their consensus tiny worldview.
So true and recognizable!


Thank you very well for this writing and also for your compliment about my English. I do a lot of work for it together with a translate robot to make myself understandable. I have no one to correct.

With love, Wonieka

dany

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Re: The dangers of abuse

Post07 Jan 2013

Well written and expressed howiemac. Absolutely right, even professional analysts can not help those programmed and trapped inside the cage.

Howevwer, in your opinion, what triggers a particular victim to disengage and break free from the cage ... ?
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howiemac

ex-BK

  • Posts: 215
  • Joined: 08 Apr 2006
  • Location: Scotland

Re: The dangers of abuse

Post07 Jan 2013

Wonieka: thanks for your feedback:) I am very glad you found my musings of help. I found the following book very helpful in dealing with this subject matter, and I recommend you read it if you have not before: it is inspiring and educational, and an easy read:

"The Road Less Travelled" by M Scott Peck
dany wrote:in your opinion, what triggers a particular victim to disengage and break free from the cage ...

I have no idea, other than it has to come from them, a desire to change themselves, presumably triggered by some catastrophe or major "wake up call" in their life circumstances.

In my own case, I rebelled against the manipulations of my parents when I was in my mid 20's: it took a failed marriage, after a period of depression (the worst in my life) during a time of great material success (exactly what my parents wanted and respected). In other words, I was on my knees emotionally, and suddenly took control of my own life. I left my wife, chucked the lucrative job, moved to a cheap rented cottage in beautiful countryside, grew my hair long, and started writing computer games for a living on a self-employed basis. I really started enjoying life again. My parents were horrified, so I simply froze them out of my life, considering them to be a bad influence. What made them happy made me want to kill myself. What made me happy made them worried and antagonistic! I had to leave them to their own misery. My only regret was that I hadn't done it 10 years earlier!

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