Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

for concern over cult-related damage, institutional abuse & psychological problems.
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because.parmeshwar

exiting BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post18 Feb 2013

Dear Manoj,

take wise / intelligent and yuktiyukt steps as suggested on this forum to get back your partner before she is fully swallowed by the cult. Awake and aware before it is TOO LATE. Please save the most important person of your life from getting die alive.
Good luck to you
b.p

ex.brahma

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post18 Feb 2013

In Psychiatry, the expression "shut off" is quite common, and usually used to describe a particular person/ patient, whose mind is beyond reach and logical communication .

This type of single track minded people can usually be found in cults and religions, and have been well soaked in their beliefs and teachings for years, and have all symptoms of Hypnotised persons.


Manoj, exhaust all possibilities to keep your family together. For whatever happens, your conscious will remain clear, and can confidently tell your self ... I tried ..!!

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post18 Feb 2013

Hi Ex.Brahma,

I will try my best to get her out from this mess so in future my mind or my conscious is not affected. Hope slowly she will co-operate and feels that she needs me to come out of this addiction which has affecting her the most and rest of the family.

I'll also confess that I am frustrated and developed anxiety, depressed with her attitude and thoughts, behavior, and need counseling for myself as well.

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post18 Feb 2013

Today's meet with Dr., the doc said she was vulnerable and and gradually sucked into the cult of BK, she has a strong will therefore we need to be very careful. She said forget about the relationship with her, first priority is to bring her back into real world. The Dr. knowledge on BK is little but that's not important here however she said spirituality used by BK as a medium to attract followers, and slowly the real things happen.

My Sister (own, not BK) just came back from a wedding in Raipur, there in her way she saw a BK center and asked her relative whether they are attached to it ???

Surprise again, one of her daugther-in-laws are trapped, her relationship with husband and kids is not of a family member and so on ... rest, I guess, all knows.

So it's a disease spreading in the society, a parasite, sucking money and relationship.

It's a viral disease spreading across, however, in the case of BK, the followers are always blamed for their condition. As per BK the followers/student did understand their preaching correctly. Are they right in saying that is biggest question ???
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ex-l

ex-BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post18 Feb 2013

If I understand your question, yes, all blame is generally directed at the student and for "not having accurate Yoga" with their Baba. Baba is perfect, his work is perfect (I have never heard them admit either he or they were wrong even when they obviously were), the Seniors are very nearly perfect ... so if a problem emerges, it is your fault, your weakness.

How did your wife get sucked in ... a friend, a relative, Awakening with Shivani on TV, did someone take her to a public event and she had a funny experience in meditation?

Was she ever a regular student, by which I mean, did she go to 6 am class every day?

Although I am sure you are exhausted by what it happening, don't blame yourself for her turning. The only mistake you could have made was allowing her the free time and money to start attending. Within all marriages people change and issue arise but this BK one eclipses all of those. In normal breakups there is not a 3 or 4 th party behind the scenes or at the end of the telephone line interfering with the partnership (... unless you are unlucky and have a bad mother-in-law!). With a BK, you have the BK center-in-charge and system behind them as well as whatever is going on at a spiritual level whether you believe it is hypnotism or accept it is spiritualism.

I have seen people use their BK-ness to attack or push away their partners and families. It is like an infidelity ... the other partner has fallen in love with a ghost, a spirit being who is like their god Krishna.*

* (They claim their founder Lekhraj Kirpalani will become Krishna in his next birth, literally, and what you are going through is what the men of the Bhaiband in Sind went through with their wives 75 years ago. They all fell in love with him, rush to leave their homes and surrendered themselves to him. Today's BK encourage the same to happen. They now say the name of this spirit being is called Shiva, taking the name of the Hindu god and instead of Lekhraj Kirpalani, the BK say they adore their Shiva and Lekhraj Kirpalani has become some kind of idealised husband/Father figure).
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Pink Panther

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post19 Feb 2013

Today's meet with Dr.... She said forget about the relationship with her. First priority is to bring her back into real world. The Dr. knowledge on BK is little but that's not important here however she said spirituality used by BK as a medium to attract followers, and slowly the real things happen.

It is important not to misunderstand what the doctor is saying. Mental health is a major issue here too, for me personally through friends and relatives, but also in the national debate and politics. Much discussion occurs.

One of the biggest problem is that most people's only contact with a therapist is with a medical GP. They have some basic training but are far from being specialists. Psychiatrists are specialists but they come from a specifically pharmacological/neurological perspective. Then there's psychologists who come from all kinds of "schools of thought", or approaches. Sometimes it is just luck that a person finds not only the right mode of treatment but also the right therapist.

And, out of the two, I would say which mode of treatment (which school of training or philosophy of treatment) is less important than the actual therapist.

But my point in all of this, Manojag, is I have never heard any doctor or therapist diminish the value of personal support and relations in the process of healing. Quite the opposite. So, again what is the meaning of "forget about the relationship with her. First priority is to bring her back into real world."?

Is the doctor saying not to expect her to be the same intimate, loving wife as before anytime soon? If so, yes, that's to be expected.

Is the doctor saying your lifelong relationship is not going to mean anything in the treatment? I would strongly disagree.

My brother-in-law became a BK very young. That path and timing coincided with his mental breakdown. There is a possibility this has happened with your wife too - coincidental events. His breakdown could and should have been foreseen, if public awareness then of such things was as good as it is now. The BK lifestyle and practices, in my view, were the exact opposite of what he would have needed at that time, and probably accelerated and deepened his illness, even if it was not the cause.

He was at the time living in one of the centres as a "drone" - a worker bee doing much of the manual labour. His symptoms should have been recognised by others there, they were not unintelligent or inexperienced people. But as they are preoccupied with their own navels - their focus being on glorifying themselves through glorifying their "god" (who seems to be incapable of anything much "himself") - so there is never any real compassion for those "failing" right under their noses.

As his behaviour became increasingly erratic, one day while he was at work, one of his so-called "Brothers" packed his things into a suitcase, put it at the front door and when he came back from work that evening, was told he was evicted. Not a month's notice, nor a week, nor a day, nor an hour. No time for a wash, a meal, a drink of water. Out. Into the night. And this was in a city that was not his home town. He had gone there to be the centre's labourer.

He had the personal insight that something was wrong, a week or two later he checked himself into a psychiatric institution where he stayed a month before checking himself out.

Needless to say that he has lived a precarious existence since - sometimes homeless and hungry, sometimes abusing drugs, able to work less and less over the years. But he has never raised his voice or been angry or violent at anyone (maybe a symptom in itself for he has much to be angry about). He has been on a government invalid's pension for many years now. He has always been at his best when he has resided near us and can come by regularly for company, tea or a meal. The birth of his niece and her unqualified love for her uncle, even now that she is old enough to understand his condition, along with our support, has anchored his heart in a way no drug or doctor or therapy ever could. I would also acknowledge my Sister, her husband and our mother, who had him live with them in the countryside for a year and half and kept him gainfully occupied, fed and sheltered in a good environment.

That is, professional treatment is really only an adjunct to extended family and community - the salt and pepper, not the meal.

It took many years for better diagnosis (mild schizophrenia and depression) and appropriate medication & dosage to be found. He still goes off the rails occasionally, mainly out of boredom I believe, but just their knowing there is someone there as a fallback helps them stabilise.

My friend separated from his wife with whom he had 6 children. She is also schizophrenic. They stayed together until the children were old enough for him to look after them on his own and it just was easier if she had her own place to live and be less burden to him - running a business and having a few children still living at home. One daughter who became a nurse now lives with her mother.

You need to be what is called in the modern language "an informed consumer". An easy first step is to get a second professional opinion. Doctors, even specialists, are not gods. Some are better than others for particular conditions. And all have their limits.

Never accept it when a doctor says, 'there is nothing more to be done". That is them not being humble enough to say, "I don't know what else to do - maybe someone else would be better for this". They do have a professional pride and arrogance unfortunately. Some are stuck in text book approaches, others are real human beings.

I would ask this doctor what previous similar cases they have dealt with and with what results? Handing out pills for anxiety or hyperactivity works if that is suitable, but how broad is their experience and knowledge? That's why ex-l's early suggestion, about finding a therapist with experience in "cult" exiting, is valuable. There is much on the internet internationally and some links and articles on this forum. Maybe you or your doctor could correspond with one?

There is work involved for all parties here. No quick fix, fast-food solutions. You need a therapist who will struggle to deal with the individual needs of the person presenting now, not squeezing them into a pigeon-hole.
manojag22 wrote: As per BK the followers/student did understand their preaching correctly. Are they right in saying that is biggest question ???

The BK preachings & teaching are very malleable. They are on the one hand quite clear and specific, and on the other adjusted to keep themselves above criticism, both in the eyes of the world and according to their own standards.

Basically - and this is a reason many are tormented internally (whilst still denying it) - those who can and do follow it to the letter are considered superior, of "a higher number in the divine rosary". It is proof of their spiritual status. They will often advise their students to compromise in some way or other that they themselves do not have to, due to their circumstances. That then reinforces their position because they lead a "purer" life untainted by worldly compromises, while the "compromised" go out and earn the dollars that feeds the Brahmins. Nothing has really changed in the old caste system.
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ex-l

ex-BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post19 Feb 2013

I hope that you can afford to read all of this, manojag, and that is useful for you. Think of us as a bit like 'group therapy' specialists in Brahma Kumarism! You'll get a variety of views which will build up a bigger picture.

Although I believe in what I wrote about finding someone with religious fanaticism or cult experience, I am aware that it's very difficult to do so ... I am not sure even sure whether it might be harder to do so in India or easier. You might be our teacher in this area and rational Indians might have found a way to deal with such cultism already, and much better than in the West.

I only really wanted to underline how difficult dealing with Brahma Kumarism is because of its malleable deceptive nature. We seen BK leaders run rings around all kinds of professionals to carry on their business and, for them, this time is so much more of importance. Now is the time for the End of the World ... Now is the time to "create your fortune" for eternity ... Their god is the God of all ... only they are the true religion ... the BKs are more like a Christian fundamentalist group rather than a Hindu sect, in this. *Everything* is at stake and so you san expect quite a fight about it.

If all of that is injected into an individuals who already has neurotic or obsessive tendencies ... you can imagine the problem. BKism is not just another little local temple to go to.

In truth, the Brahma Kumaris do not study psychology and have little understanding of it. Yes, if their system does not work, it is the fault of the adherent and they basically only have one cure ... more BKism.
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manojag22

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post19 Feb 2013

Where is Media....?? With so many cases in today's digital world ... why have the media (Newspaper/TV) not covered anything about them rather showing their chat shows (Paid). Collectively, can we take their nuisance and effects on society to powerful media today and break this scam which is spreading, and do not know how many victims are affected with this cult and their preaching? Can we do something through this forum ??? Media also want stories.

Stories and real ones.
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ex-l

ex-BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post19 Feb 2013

Although there are many, many such cases in India going back 70 years, I don't think there is anyone centralising or focusing the attention of all the hurt and damaged individuals. Likewise, the whole truth of the BKs, as in everything from their failed predictions and historical re-writes to their outright crimes have not been made public.

The BKs invest a huge amount of time, effort and money feeding and sucking up to the media and have censored other cases in the past. There is talk of actual bribery and simple bribery like sending round sweet Sisters with prasad and to tie rakhi. Same with the police.

The more I think about the, the most I would like to start something off but I don't know were to start ... perhaps the Rationalist of Humanist societies? Are there good liberal or investigative journalists? Or are corrupt religions just not news because there are so many of them? Politicians seem to flock to the BKs and I don't know why.

What we need to do is start some kind of group that just takes reports of everything the BKs have done wrong, all the families they have broken, all the peacelessness and upset like yours they have caused.

We know some of the worst stuff, e.g. suicides in centers, the cover up of crimes and child abuse, the minor kidnapping and beatings they have done and know where to raise questions. None of that has hit the newspapers or magazine in India. The discussion needs to start.

The BKs believe that they will take over power in India. They predict the Indian government will surrender power to them just before "Destruction", and they believe they will "give courage to the scientists to use the nuclear bombs". Those are their literally beliefs. Actual words.

I think there should be some discussion of it.

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post19 Feb 2013

Hi,

There are few articles..one relates to CBI enquiry..

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes ... ana-police

From my side I've started groups in Facebook and Linkedin

http://www.facebook.com/groups/16230672 ... 3346091996

http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Brahma-K ... =&trk=tyah

Regards

Manoj

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post19 Feb 2013

Yes, I agree and seen they go to VVIP for Rakhi's etc... as a PR exercise.

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post19 Feb 2013

She has had another mild attack today, whole day was disturbed, is there any end to it soon ??
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ex-l

ex-BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post19 Feb 2013

When you say "attack" what do you mean? Becoming angry, fainting, more ...? How is she being treated at present?
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Pink Panther

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

manojag22 wrote:She has had another mild attack today, whole day was disturbed, is there any end to it soon ??

You never know with these kind of psychological things. But ...

People become obese over many years but are impatient and discouraged when they do not lose weight within weeks. Bad posture over a lifetime leads to back pain in adulthood and people think painkillers are the answer rather than correcting the cause.

Ways of thinking and feeling tend to be habitual too, and the desire for something addictive is usually stronger than the thing itself. The habit of desiring that thing needs to be changed - either to another thing (substitution and replacement), or to lessen the emptiness that the desire tries to fill. The best filler in these cases is a deep and profound experience - and that is what her BK meditation & studies etc have given her.

Learning, living, love , friendship, healthy activity and so on can fill the need -if she is open to it. That is the stage she must reach first - being open rather than being defensive and closed off.

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

Yes, I am trying to take her to Jindal Nature care in Banglore for 2 months on a condition that she will not carry any BK related stuff neither practice any BK stuff there. I do not know whether she agrees or not. Trying my best to divert her mind from her addiction and the thought process which has engulfed her.
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