Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

for concern over cult-related damage, institutional abuse & psychological problems.
  • Message
  • Author
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10647
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

The BKs encourage people to meditate, literally, 24 hours a day on their Baba. To be thinking, "Baba ... Baba ... Baba" all day and even watching her thoughts during her dreams at night and checking every thought. If she has any obsessive compulsive tendencies it is a recipe for disaster. You don't mention what her symptoms are exactly, nor how committed she is as a BK.

You say she has been becoming involved for 3 years. That is quite a long time. A lot of people tend to be coming out around before that time.

She needs to realise that the world is not going to end and that life will not stop if she stops Brahma Kumarism. Once she realises that, it will be a relief to her.

If she is 'inside' the BK system, the BKs will encourage her to excess on the basis of the world coming to a end very shortly; if she is 'outside' the BK system, she will probably just be bound my friendships to individuals who she thinks are just nice people.

I am still stunned by what you have told us, e.g. the number of telephone calls and individual attention. It sounds like the center-in-charge is deeply attached to her. Have you spoken to the BK to tell them to leave her alone for a while or to allow her a break for health reasons?

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

  • Posts: 24
  • Joined: 22 Aug 2010

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

She has been diagnosed with OCD personality and behavior disorder as per psychological test done during her stay in hospital. She is also diagnosed with conversion disorder, where her brain shuts off in emotional and stress situation. She gets unconscious in these attacks.

Last 2 months she is not gone to any center, because she is under medication where driving and travelling alone is not allowed.

BK Ansula, Parla center is the problem, where she exploited her and made her puppet. I tried stopping Ansula calling and using her on regular basis which she complained back to my wife where all the major problem like 11 days hospitalization started ...

She is refused to go to Jindal Nature care, reason it will affect her BK session in morning and etc ... They have strict rules to follow which she is not ready for ...

She is not inside BK system, she is a student, she feels like and want to follow the life style of BK Sisters.

Even Dr. told me her OCD problem BK preaching is the most dangerous combination, the Psythiatrist and Psychologist says she is an extreme case for them and they can try but may not be successful ...

What do I do???? leave her or become patient ???

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

  • Posts: 24
  • Joined: 22 Aug 2010

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

ex-l wrote:She needs to realise that the world is not going to end and that life will not stop if she stops Brahma Kumarism. Once she realises that, it will be a relief to her.

How do I do that ??? All my efforts are failing. Morning 3.30 when she gets up and start her BK meditation for 1 1/2 hours. Afternoon at 4.00 PM her reading and BK video starts for 2-3-4 hours even in her current state of health and mind. How much counselling will help ?? If the input is 3-4 hours a day for BK and counseling is 1/2 hour week or so ???

Now every day she says, everyone has left her and she is living because of Baba, when he leaves she will die.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10647
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

This is terrible. The situation is completely out of control and largely because of this Ansula character.

Let me tell you this ... 'officially', according to the rules of the BKWSU, it is against them to teach or allow mentally ill people to come and study their Raja Yoga. Now, the truth is, they do regularly ignore this rule, and they are not qualified to diagnose individuals in the first place, but the rule does exist. You can remind them of it.

You might be able to use this by going above the head of Ansula to the 'zone-in-charge' and explaining to her the situation. I would say you need to go up the chain until you find someone either sensible enough, or someone who bothers about the negative PR value value if you get upset. If they have so much control and influence over her, they need to free her.

Secondly, there are a number of strange things about this case. From a BK point of view, your wife seems to be suffering from what they would call "ego" or egotism and appears to have been 'over encouraged' in her efforts.

1 1/2 hours meditation at 4am is too much and unnecessary *EVEN* if you are a top class BK. Not even the Seniors do so ... and believe me when I tell you I have seen even the top BK sleep their way through 4am meditation. Most old BKs will tell you that. They only 45 minutes as a habit, 4 am to 4.45 am.

So, on top of any potentially genuine illness (... and we do not know if it is, did she suffer at all *before* BKism?), she is doing too much.

Then she is, in essence, demanding special attention, special circumstance and her choice or pick of centers. Normally BKism does not work like that. You go to the local center, you help there, any problem you encounter are your "lessons" to overcome, you accept your position and get on with it. Normally, they do not allow for such strong 'likes and dislikes', preferences or indulgences. Especially after 3 years, a BK would be expected to be well settled in and tolerate any inconvenience. I don't know if in India this is common, or if it is just because your wife bring in money etc, but I have never heard of such behaviour. In my time it would never have been tolerated by the Seniors and is against the teachings.

Again, without wishing to cause you offence, it seems she is being spoilt about it and not actually understanding what BKism is about or gaining benefit about it. Of course, *if* she is genuinely ill I will take that back but at present I cannot tell.

I would in whatever way possible 100% suggest all BK materials were removed from her. It probably will provoke a strong reaction but you have to break that connection and stimulation.

I am not sure where the "zone-in-charge" is. Ramesh Shah is in Mumbai and he is one of the trustees of the main BK trust. I think a 'BK Santosh Bahen' is the in-charge for Maharashtra Zone and Mumbai. It might be worth speaking to them and being *very* clear what the circumstances are and what you want, e.g.; Ansula to 'cease and desist' and your wife to be officially given permission to stop for the sake of her health and all material removed. I am thinking that if they tell her she might obey ... but beware of them trying to convert you too!

I don't know what state she is in but she should focus her mind on other things; work, crafts, service of others any practical (in the West we say things like gardening etc but that may not be your culture). An occupational therapy which the BKs might could even karma Yoga and takes her mind off it.

Again, in the West, studies have been done to prove not all people benefit from meditation and it makes some ill. That is a fact. She is definitely meditation too much and I have no idea why. We don't even know how she is meditating, she might just been sitting there talking to herself in her mind and willing herself into illness.

I hope this helps.

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

  • Posts: 24
  • Joined: 22 Aug 2010

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

Head of Parla center is BK Yogini, I went to her, she promised a lot and did nothing, zero, nil. I ve explained her everything and she promised that she will personally help her out from her problems. She did nothing at all and I think which common thing. This is their business, as of god's agent, and the Sisters are further agents to get clients. The higher the number of clients they get they move in organization and richer the better. They have managed well as a front or good PR, TV chat shows to get people into their trap. '

Once you are trapped, they will do nothing.
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10647
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

That's why I said you have to go above their head to the 'zone-in-charge' (state level) or trustee ... not the local center-in-charge.

Otherwise, you statement is correct.

dany

  • Posts: 192
  • Joined: 11 May 2012

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

After all, "Ansula character" is part of the BK cult system and structuring, and must have gone through intensive training and orientation by BK Seniors.

I would put the whole blame on BK cult teachings and ideology, which created single track minded devotees, and "shut them off" their families, community and the rest of the real world ..!!

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

  • Posts: 24
  • Joined: 22 Aug 2010

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

Absolutely correct
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10647
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

It's worse than just "shut them off". Internally they see non-BKs are something between ignorant and "devilish" or evil "Shudras", an obstacle or impediment to their aims. They're like Islamic fundamentalists in a way.

Then, externally, they have learned to say things such as "they see the divinity within each individual" etc (which means something different to BK from non-BKs) and so they learn to be two-faced, deceive and patronize.

It is useful for us here to learn how they behave in various centers so we can get an overall image of them. Did you find out what it was they said which caused your wife to faint?

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

  • Posts: 24
  • Joined: 22 Aug 2010

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post20 Feb 2013

Ansula is her god mother, Baba is god and god Father, she do not care about rest, biggest hatred is towards me since I object her views, thoughts and followings.

You said rightly they are like Muslim fundamentalist and this was the mind they create, or like terrorist training camp where they have single mind set and track.

It's not my wife, god knows how many people or families are suffering. This got to come out in media, such as TV and newspapers.

Can we do something, this platform is good but how many people want to share and knows this forum and have access to net and can write?

Last year we went to our village, it's in between Delhi and Jaipur on highway, even that place has BK center, so point is they are mushrooming across. How they are funded? Some people just go there for eating prasad.

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

  • Posts: 24
  • Joined: 22 Aug 2010

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post21 Feb 2013

Another day and night of havoc in the house, y'day again attacks, shouting at me, etc., today kids are not going to school and college.

She said there is full war against me for disturbing her involvement in BK.

manojag22

friends or family of a BK

  • Posts: 24
  • Joined: 22 Aug 2010

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post21 Feb 2013

Now feel like leaving her and house, get my life back in track since nothing much be done to her.
User avatar

Pink Panther

  • Posts: 1877
  • Joined: 14 Feb 2013

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post21 Feb 2013

manojag22 wrote:Now feel like leaving her and house, get my life back in track since nothing much be done to her.


Sad to hear how the whole household is being affected. I wasn't sure until now if she was staying at home.

Re: the Jindal place - you mentioned it twice.

I was going to send you a warning about it at your first mention because it has become popular among BKs, many Western and wealthy Indians, as a place to go to be "forced" to lose weight and get their health together (because it is cheaper than similar places in the West, and an excuse to go to India/Mt Abu in the same trip) ! There seems to have been a fair number of BKs go there over the years (which doesn't say much for the BK approach to a "yogi" lifestyle!).

In the second mention of it, you said that she did not want to go there because of their strict rules. Given the chaos at home, it may be worth putting her in a different location for a while and having something else to blame rather than yourself and the doctor. Chances are good diet, activities and health regime may help her re-balance psychologically too.

Check them out and see what their connection with BKs is. You can use the fact many BKs have been there as a"selling point" to her, BUT - ensure there are none there when she is there - they are sure to find each other!

Any alternatives to Jindal?
User avatar

ex-l

ex-BK

  • Posts: 10647
  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post21 Feb 2013

manojag22 wrote:She said there is full war against me for disturbing her involvement in BK.

That is probably the LEAST BK thing she could have said. Although it is little compensation to you, it is completely the opposite of their teachings.

Think of it as if she is possessed by an evil spirit and it is not really her talking.

I cannot predict what will happen now but what I would ask you is, if the worst comes to the worst, only agree to any transfer of property *IF* it is held in trust for your sons.

Do not give it or any money to her if you can because if you do, it will go straight to the Brahma Kumaris who have caused all this. Look after your family, not fuel the BKs to do more of this.

ex.brahma

  • Posts: 79
  • Joined: 02 Aug 2012

Re: Psychological problems after wife joins Brahma Kumaris

Post21 Feb 2013

An important lesson may be learnt from Manoj’s unpleasant experience, which I am sure there are many similar to his all over ... The lesson to be learnt is to never let things drag on and on, without taking serious and firm action.

As soon as a family member becomes sucked into certain cults, the whole family should take a firm stand against that member, and from DAY ONE. The Father or the husband, whichever the case, has special responsibility and role to play in that respect. If the sucked-in child is under legal age, authorities and even police should be approached for necessary action.

Some, would rely on time to sort things out, and bring the enculted victim back to his/her senses ... Experience has proved that such approach will be a losing gamble ..!!
PreviousNext

Return to Abuse & Recovery