Setting Your Personal Boundaries

for concern over cult-related damage, institutional abuse & psychological problems.
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enlightened

ex-BK

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Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post03 Jul 2013

As part of my recovery from the traumas of my exposure to the Brahma Kumaris world spiritual university as a child of under 10 years old, my personal boundaries were invaded by them and their indoctrination before I even knew about my boundaries or before I was even able to develop them.

I am only just beginning to understand what has happened to me since I was exposed to the Brahma Kumaris world spiritual university or Raja Yoga meditation as it was called in those days ... and the more I am recovering, the more I am discovering ...

I am just attaching a link on setting personal boundaries, I hope it helps other ex-bks who are also on their journey of recovery ...
It would be really nice if others can share on this topic too as I believe it makes the foundation to all experiences in our lives.

Enlightened (BOY, AM I BECOMING ENLIGHTENED BY WHAT I AM LEARNING THESE DAYS. IT'S AN EYE OPENER).

ITS LIKE BEING BORN AGAIN

kmanaveen

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post04 Jul 2013

Oh Man! Love and freedom always go together and if coming out of BKism make you feel free (even if you feel free from God), be sure neither was there any love there at first place nor they have any idea of such a thing. Enjoy your freedom and feel the love of God always showering UNCONDITIONALLY!
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enlightened

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

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ex-l

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post05 Jul 2013

enlightened,

Can you quote or post the pieces of these articles which stood out for you the most ... or which you thought were most values?

I think it might help to offer a 'taster'.
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Mr Green

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post05 Jul 2013

I read it and found it useful, thanks
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enlightened

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post05 Jul 2013

ex-l wrote:Can you quote or post the pieces of these articles which stood out for you the most ... or which you thought were most values?

I think it might help to offer a 'taster'.

Ex-I

I find the whole article in both links useful. It's hard for me to separate what stands out for me as every single word stands out for me ...

I am just trying to help others in my own merry little way by posting interesting articles as I discover them. What stands out will be different for each person that reads them ... I don't see the point in quoting what might stand out for me.

Those who wish to read the link are free to do so and those who wish to skim through it are free to do so ... and those who don't want to read them are free to not read them ...

If anyone else wishes to quote what stands out for them, they are free to do so ...

enlightened
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ex-l

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post05 Jul 2013

Fair enough, you can do as you please. A brief copy and paste summary or excerpt would help me, as I only have so much time to spend.
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enlightened

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post12 Jul 2013

I would be interested to know other ex-bks experience on this subject and especially those who were exposed to the BK way of life as a baby, child as well as in adulthood.

Were you able to protect your boundaries. Are you able to cope with having boundaries after leaving the BK's?

If anyone can share their personal experiences, it would be of great help. I feel I've got a long way to go before I can create boundaries in my life to protect me.

thanks
enlightened
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ex-l

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post12 Jul 2013

One honest question for those of us who were slightly older when we became enculted into Brahma Kumarism is how much we were already "damaged" in such a way, or underdeveloped, so as to make us vulnerable to being enculted, e.g. how far had we already had our boundary broken or, as in your case, never had time (become old enough) to have our boundaries clarified and hardened enough to face life.

Pink Panther raised the issue of how many female BKs had been abused pre-BK.

It seems it's quite typical for 'cultees' to be entrapped just as they leave home for the first time, e.g. become students. Unconsciously at least, cults seem to be aware of this and target individuals at that age.

Hence, I would not say BKism is not at core about personal development ... for the leaders at least it's more about exploiting personal vulnerabilities because they certainly do not teach personal boundaries. Quite the opposite, the teach removing them (any internal obstacles or defences to their control of the individual).

I've also noticed how BKs will use other pre-existing avenues of exploitation, for example using family members, like a mother to a son, to get at other individuals and pull on their strings.

All the messages of "surrendering" are about dropping one's reasonable and natural defences and allowing the BKs to invade your mind, bodily relationships, social world ... and, of course, wallet. (I remember being corrected by my BK teachers when I said "my wallet" that I should be thinking "Baba's wallet"!)

Even after I left the BKs I remember feeling that I could not have anything or own anything ... not even friends and interests. I was completely invaded. Everything I had had to be "handed over to Baba" (e.g. within BKism everything one receives had to be offered to Baba first), and it's ultimately that kind of surrender which is encouraged and rewarded.

Obviously, the BKs invade not only individuals' beings (cross other people's boundaries) but also families homes taking them over. People should take them seriously when they say, "conquering the world 3 square feet at a time" ... one mind at a time.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post13 Jul 2013

ex-l wrote:Pink Panther raised the issue of how many female BKs had been abused pre-BK.

It seems it's quite typical for 'cultees' to be entrapped just as they leave home for the first time, e.g. become students. Unconsciously at least, cults seem to be aware of this and target individuals at that age.

Hence, I would not say BKism is not at core about personal development ... for the leaders at least it's more about exploiting personal vulnerabilities


Many of the original Seniors were also abused or living in repressed environments. Many were also at that impressionable, idealistic adolescent stage. They were enculted and have lived within those "boundaries" since, which, for many, was preferable to their other options as they understood them at the time.

So, there is a kind of "sanctuary" or retreating to the monastery or convent, to safety, found in such a group for some.

For others there is an avenue for their idealism and even a "career path". Many adolescents become aware of the world's problems and corruption and look for a "cause" and ways to make it a better world. In the chaos of life, some find "order" as defined by others to be an easier way to live than trying to work it out for themselves is, impressed by the simplification that such dogmas provide.

That is, even the 'leaders' were once 'victims" of these dynamics. We all think that what we are doing and believing is right and others should do the same. And it reassures our ego when they do.

"Seva" is very much about replacing objective thinking and analysis with circular confirmation and affirmation through action - "making others like yourself" - to quote a baba-ism.
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enlightened

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post15 Jul 2013

Pink Panther and Ex-I, Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. it would be really good if more people are able to share on this subject if you can. I really want to have a deeper understanding on how the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University Management break into peoples personal boundaries and virtually take over peoples lives and the way they live it.

Thanks
Enlightened
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Pink Panther

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post16 Jul 2013

Enlightened,

One of the ironies of the BKs and other ideology/faith-based groups is that they are quick to point out how the mainstream deludes people and takes over their lives through consumerism, social roles and status, false idols, faddish advice on diet or health etc leading to so many social and personal ills, then, with some sleight of hand and some new packaging, offer their own form of the same - consume this, play this role, aim for this status, idolise this, eat this food not that, etc.

One of the benefits for the "once bitten" is that they are "twice shy".

Only now, after many cults and groups and -isms, does society begin to understand many of the social and personal dynamics that are involved. Most of the resources linked to or quoted in this forum, indeed this forum itself, were not available when these groups first emerged, let alone in the distant past when mainstream religions were also mere cults.

Mainstream religions are back-pedalling in the face of secular rationalism as well as revelations about corruption and abuse. Smaller groups are nimbler and find it easier to dodge the public spotlight, but the main thing I suppose is that overall, the general public's awareness is on the rise.

But ... humans are all the same and always will be. We are vulnerable, susceptible, gullible, idealistic, corruptible, vain etc etc. Fortunately we are also resilient, hopeful, compassionate, able to learn, evolve, share ...

Enlightened, your contributions here are invaluable.
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ex-l

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post16 Jul 2013

Pink Panther wrote:Enlightened, your contributions here are invaluable.

Absolutely, your sincerity ... and hard earn experiences ... add credibility not just to our work but, I hope one day, the experience of all cult damage children.

Like Pink states, we're still very much at a cutting edge of the evolution of human awareness and many of these cults operate in very primitive, tribal manners.

We still don't have the perfect antidote. Rather than an "Anti-Party" ... as the BKs like to cast us ... I'd prefer to think of us here doing our alchemy as an "Antidote-Party" and this is why I encourage you onwards. Tf you can take the poison the BKs struck you with, turn it around and transform it, you or whatever you come up with should become a very powerful healer of others too. You'll heal without even knowing you are doing so.
    If ... of course ... it does not kill you first!
This is a reference to the tradition of classical alchemy, which is worth looking at (in a metaphorical fashion) for its therapeutic value. It's something Jung and others referenced in their work. To be able to take the full strike of the serpent's venom and survive will make what ever you come back with very strong.

Once you've built up some immunity, you don't have to worry about them exploiting your personal boundaries ... you can walk into the snake pit and let them strike you time and time again without any effect ... then grab them by the tail and whack them on the ground!

fixingthevolatile_fit.jpg
from cynthialarge.com

mango

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post16 Jul 2013

Thanks I have also benefited from this article.
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enlightened

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Re: Setting Your Personal Boundaries

Post16 Jul 2013

Pink Panther wrote:Enlightened, your contributions here are invaluable.


Thank you Pink Panther. I am happy that they are of value to you. I find your posts invaluable too.
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