Mothers in cults: influence on Mother-Child Relationships

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ex-l

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Mothers in cults: influence on Mother-Child Relationships

Post18 Nov 2014

A paper on 'Mothers in cults: The influence of cults on the relationship of mothers to their children' by Alexandra Stein. In a way, given how much Lekhraj Kirpalani leans on the symbolism of mothers and mother child relationships - whilst at the same time dividing families, stealing parents or children, and demonising the "monkey-like" female sin of "attachment" - it's a shame she did not look at the so called "feminist" Brahma Kumaris ... where children are seen as not just obstacles to spiritual progress, but "Scorpions and Snakes".

If she had, she would have found another element were women with children as seen as second class to women - virgins or those Westerner with more prior access to birth control - who did not.

An opener for discussion ...
Alexandra Stein wrote:There is a dual allegiance. It's a power relationship. Your child is powerless, and you have less power than the cult leader. Your child has no one but you to protect them ... a mother should primarily be taking care of her child. But in a cult, it's always a conflict.
A mother's position within a cult may be judges by the behavior of her children ...
A serious burden to recovery is the leader's parting curse - a frequent phenomenon in cults ... these women had to continually work through [its] weight.
The more I tell my own story, that diminishes the shame, although the regret is intact. All mothers should teach their children to think - at the risk of them disagreeing with the parent.
All the mothers interviewed for this article suffered fairly severe depress after leaving ... one women broke down, attempted suicide, and was hospitalized for an extended period.
For most of the mothers, leaving the cult was a complex process involving the following factors ... Beginning to connect a "generalise feeling of being unhappy" with an often protracted intellectual process of evaluating the group's actions ... Reaching some kind of limit in how their children were being treated ... a small break in isolation ... concern for the children's welfare.

The author also observes how ...
The mother may continue to consciously disagree with the cult practises, but will give in externally to resolve the pressure being applied on her.

... and how ...
Some mothers may resolve the conflict by a total submission to the group and its deceptions, perhaps in exchange for a degree of power.
The conflict of struggling against the cult can be so intense that giving in feels like a resolution. This feeling is analogous to that of a battered woman ... she simply 'gives in' and does what she is told. If she agrees, ... she is, at least briefly, "loved".

There is more if others care to look, share their observations, and relate it to the Brahma Kumari experience.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Mothers in cults: influence on Mother-Child Relationship

Post18 Nov 2014

Wow.
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ex-l

ex-BK

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Re: Mothers in cults: influence on Mother-Child Relationship

Post18 Nov 2014

A mother's position within a cult may be judges by the behavior of her children ...

In the BKs' case, arguably this extended to "A mother's position within a cult may be bad luck/karma of her children ... remember the child sex abuse cases where BKs conceptualised as, in essence, the child's own fault for having done negative karma in their past life ... and the mother being dragged in by association, i.e. it was *her* bad karma to have such a child.

In a celibate cult like the BKs, you then have that other thorny issue to deal with ... puberty.

quantum

Re: Mothers in cults: influence on Mother-Child Relationship

Post18 Nov 2014

it is an interesting comparison between a celibate cult like BKs, who's Seniors (Didi's & Dadi's) advise and coerce "mothers to be" into aborting their unborn child, for all the repulsive and inhuman reasons already discussed here previously. Other cults sexually abuse their children in the name of "God's wish"! ...

Either way, they are all Vile Monsters, who themselves should have been aborted in vitro, or failing that ... "shot at birth", as the old wise people used to say (for the betterment of humanity).

Powerfull stuff ex-l! ... Excellent research, thanks for sharing. It is eye opening and sad. Which just goes to demonstrate how even the very substance of life and creation, poured forth from the Heart of the Real God, (not Shiva) is easily trashed into the gutter by BK Seniors! ... They have no conscience, because they have no real human emotions, and when the core of your humanity is Dead, you no longer know right from wrong ... and their many actions demonstrate that.
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ex-l

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Re: Mothers in cults: influence on Mother-Child Relationship

Post18 Nov 2014

Active in a closely related and much needed area ... Safe Passage Foundation.

This could be a "game changer" for many ex-BK kids. Something similar is needed in India to have Kunyas and Kumaris escape and re-enter the world. Alexandra also shares a related list of books for the children of cults.
Safe Passage Foundation is a not-for-profit 501(c)3 tax-exempt organization that provides resources, support and advocacy for youth raised in restrictive, isolated or high-demand communities, often referred to as "cults" by society at large.

SPF was co-founded by the late Julia McNeil and has dedicated its scholarships to her memory.
What We Do

Safe Passage Foundation (SPF) is devoted to providing resources, support and advocacy addressing both the immediate and long-term needs of former and current children raised in cults while raising public awareness of the issues confronting them.

Scholarships

The Julia McNeil Memorial Scholarship program provides college scholarships to those who were raised in cults that denied education or routinely violated the basic human rights of children.

Advocacy

Safe Passage Foundation volunteers have attended and made presentations at various conferences including ICSA and SNAP. As part of our work to raise awareness, we also sometimes participate in media interviews and provide presentations and timely advice to government departments, NGOs, social services and educational institutions.

Financial Aid

The Emergency Aid Fund provides emergency assistance to persons raised in cults (available financial aid is limited but please contact us if you have an urgent need and we will do what we can to help).

Other Projects

Safe Passage Foundation and MadLab, LLC also sponsor online projects such as xFamily.org, an encyclopedia about The Family/Children of God, and are working on restoring the MovingOn.org and other ex-member online communities. MadLab has offered to support ex-members with free hosting and consulting for other online projects.

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