There are similar stories in Hinduism for women, for fending off the unwarranted attentions of a male. In one, a young beautiful female devotee of God is pursued by a lustful fellow. The story goes that eventually she agrees to succumb to him but asks his to meet her at her home in a week times. For that week she stops eating and instead purges herself with powerful herbs, emetics; storing her sick, discharge and diarrhea in pots.
When the male arrives, filled with anticipation and desire, he castes her as aside as an ugly, sallow hag she has become demanding to drink from the essence of her once beauty. She tells him that it is in the next room and he pushes her aside in his hurry ... well, I think you get the rest. The female devotee is left along to follow her first love, for God.
I think it is actually possible to read the above quote without seeing any it as misogynist at all. There is no need to place a hardness in it. It is actually quite true ... and funnily enough, reminds me of one old lover of mine. It applies to either male or female but, as the Dalai Lama laughed in the article, "it is a book written for (male) monks". It is just one tiny application of the intellectualism, the "Buddhi"-ism, of reality.
What it is attempting to do is to discharge the Maya or illusion that builds up around sexual attraction, that is necessary for it to work. Nature's temporary insanity which it uses as a way of getting us to procreate our species and upon which multi-billion dollar industries have now been founded ... as the Beatle's once sang, "All you Need is Love (a good accountant, a lawyer and production manager)".
Traditionally, it would be used as base mental conditioning or as a cure for any young monk that is getting the hots. Even today, applied contemporaneously, it is an antidote to the effects of all the pro-sensual mental condition swilling through our society. In fact, we have all probably used similar techniques attempting to talk some friend out of a love affair that we could see was doomed or fatal. And, of course, equivalent renunciation existed through out Christianity and in the West.
In our context, the questions really are ...
a) is there a honey pot at the end of the renunciate path that makes the effects and cost of it all worth while? Is there a benefit to greater society?
b) does the path of Brahma Kumarism lead that honey pot or do they offer another crock of ****?
c) how is the tool being used?
d) is it for everyone and if not what to do with the rest?
The answer to the second question is largely a question of faith. I, personally, do not think so. At present I, personally, think that Brahma Kumarism offers an analogue for true spirituality, that is, something that appears to "The Supreme Path" and delivers some benefit to the adherent but, in fact, is not. I think the outer garb of renunciate's path is being used for other means and other gains. The type of control and manipulation you would criticise, Jan.
The answer to the last question is a strange one. To me, despite engaging in the persistent mental condition of children and adult in the manner you criticise, the Brahma Kumari leadership appear to have relaxed their attitudes towards sex amongst their followers ... at least as far as "the business" is concerned. That is privately they appear to accept sex happens but if the individuals are still useful, they will still use them. I have also heard that Janki Kripalani gives advice to married women followers in relationship with non-BKs to give their husband "a little bit of the other", to get him off their backs until his interest droops off.
I am thinking about the Relax Kids woman (I understand the child of a BK mother) who has just recently fallen in love, gotten married and we presume started rutting but yet is still allowed to use their pure, holy retreat
to promote her, and their, business. This would appear to any informed observer as even more hypocritical but what the spook or they seem to have done is used renunciation, and individual's predisposition to it as "part of the spiritual path" as a means to an end. Using its benefits, the freeing up of adherents' time, money and resources, to their Empire building advantages.
What this latest event at their most holy of venues suggests, along with other prostitution of their principles, is that even if followers do get the leg over, their time, money and resources are still accepted ... which goes against what the core teachings say.
So, in short, I wold argue that there are actually three paths at play we need to consider; the renunciate,
the householder and
the business people who use the trappings and techniques of religion to accumulate power and wealth ...