Ego

I think the ego has to be rebuilt after leaving the Yagya, especially if you were surrendered, because this part of you that demands self-worth and self-appreciation is strangled by the BKs.

By "ego" you mean ... self-identity ... self-image ... identity? One's "boundaries"?

BKs use the term but as with any BK use of language, they have given it their own mean which is flexible and malleable according to demand. In a simple way to mean "egotism", an inflated sense of self-worth. In a subtle way to mean any idea, opinion, stance, opposition to what group think or the opinion of the leaders. It is meant to be the first and most difficult of vices to overcome. Something entirely BAD.

To have any "self" is to not "have Baba". Of course, for the leaders, a load of people without any "selfs" are hell of a useful mental slaves to have around to tap for money and work for free!

Ego in the real world is used, based on Freudian Psychology (Das Ich), to mean the part of the mind that contains the consciousness. A set of psychological functions such as judgment, reality-testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory. In modern English, it could mean one’s self-esteem or, philosophically, one’s self.

I mention social and psychological boundaries because I think those are entirely trashed by 'surrendered' BKWSU lifestyle. You have no self mind ... you have no privacy ... no space. You are required to put aside your own morals and intuitions and just follow instructions. "Surrender everything", 100% of the self ... to what? A constantly changing set of demands being made on you.

So, to summarise my response, I am not quite sure what "ego" means in the BK world ... what was your experience before and is your experience now?

Ego is a very healthy thing.

BK does everything to break it to make you insecure and dependent. Simple as that.

In BK world, the more “Ha Ji” (Yes, Mam) you say, the more egoless you will be treated as. It is a sign of ego if you put your opinion or go against the opinion of Seniors. I remember, even for small small things (like fixing up of nails on the wall, putting the curtains, purchasing vegetables and fruits for centre, cutting them to prepare them) we were given directions, and were not allowed to use our brain.

Now, I understand, this may be trick to capture our mind, body and soul (complete surrendered).

In BK world the more “Ha Ji” (Yes Mam) you say, the more egoless you will be treated as. It is a sign of ego if you put your opinion or go against the opinion of Seniors. I remember, even for small small things (like fixing up of nails on the wall, putting the curtains, purchasing vegetables and fruits for centre, cutting them to prepare them) we were given directions, and were not allowed to use our brain.

Now, I understand, this may be trick to capture our mind, body and soul (complete surrendered).

I was once told off for buying a pair of socks without permission, had my bank statements opened and once, having bought a pair of decent leather sandals, was ordered to take them back to the shop as our centre in charge was vegan at the time, so we all had to be as well. It can only be soul destroying behaviour like that,

And don't forget the classic of having to give any presents from lokiks to the bloomin centre!!! It was like Nazi mind control experiments. Hahahha, these presents would then be used as gifts from the centre to either BKs or prospective ones.

Yes, ex-l I do mean self aware and judging on the basis of self worth first and not others or god first,

All the five vices, the idiot BKs go on about, seem not that bad to me now. All those Maryadas and the spiritual energy generated is a hollow sham without honesty within the teachings. It's almost just a sort of twisted pleasure following them.The real Maryadas should just be 'try being open and truthfull'. But the BKs believe they don't have to be truthful with shudras and lokiks, even Bapdadi has said about being a diplomat.

This topic awakens unpleasant memories of knots in my stomach that were formed every time I received some nonsensical instruction. They throw a crazy order at you like a hot potato and you have to quickly decide what the hell am I going to do with this? Obey, even if it sounds crazy, useless, over the top, against my principles? Because very soon you learn that by not complying, you will be blacklisted, shamed, punished, not given any service to do (OMG ... I am useless, how am I going to create the very necessary SUKARMA??), like mobbing and other techniques.

But, if you survive that and stop founding your self esteem on whether you get their (sister in charge, SS) approval or not, there's a rebirth and a different type of growth.

If you don't care about name and fame, you can do subtle service, incognito, trusting that Cosmic Laws work independently from the BKs, and understanding that by being happy, we do the elevated service of spreading good vibes. You can limit the toxic contact with centers without feeling guilty or "less". Especially if the sister in charge is "sick", "bad news", angry, deluded, bossy etc. You can stay and be the one who decides in which terms and conditions, or leave.

Assertiveness - which is a king's sanskar, is not it?- and free spirit are unacceptable, therefore they get labeled as "ego".

Usually Baba speaks of both manmat and parmat as two equally wrong things. But for the Yagya, manmat is the sin, whereas parmat is a virtue, obedience to SS or Baba's instruments, however vicious or mentally disturbed they may be.

The situations described by Mr Green, are simply called abuse, in the normal world.

The alarming thing, which is probably common to all sects, is that in the name of God someone can abuse you according to their dogma (there's benefit for you, your 'ego" gets crushed!), and you gradually become subdued and accept it as if it was a valuable way to learn humility and other unbalanced qualities. I think that the whole idea of surrender and renunciation, the way the BKWSO misuses it, is: leave your belongings at the entrance of the penitentiary, that is remain deprived.

First thing they strip off from you, is your discernment, the discrimination and judging power they boast about and we should be able to develop.