Need advice for marital relationship

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upasna

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  • Joined: 04 Aug 2016

Need advice for marital relationship

Post04 Aug 2016

My Husband and I are married for 4 years now. We have a child. He is a hard working person but never succeeded to earn and lost huge amounts in his business. I am working and earning the bread for us. Till date, I tried million time to convince him for a decent job but failed. He also does not contribute for home chores and in joint family, he gets an escape. He gets up late in the morning, come late in the evening. We don't have personal chit-chat time. When I want him to improve and say it to him, He replies, "Apko mujhse kya lena hai- ap apna kam karo".

Should not I bother whatever lifestyle he lives, whatever he does. Should I just keep mute and watch him spoiling his own life?
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Pink Panther

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Re: Need advice for marital relationship

Post04 Aug 2016

This forum is not for personal relationship counselling.

I suggest you talk to some elders on his side, a Brother or uncle, Father or mother, or whomever he will respect. If they know him they will know his character and know what you are talking about, they will understand more than you can share and hopefully be willing to talk bluntly with him.

A professional relationships counsellor will only have what you share to respond to. I would suggest you go to see one if there is no family or friend who can talk to him, or if that measure fails. A family doctor might be a possible professional counsellor or may be able to refer you to one.
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upasna

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Re: Need advice for marital relationship

Post04 Aug 2016

Thanks.
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ex-l

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  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Need advice for marital relationship

Post04 Aug 2016

It's also worth saying that neither do the Brahma Kumaris really offer personal relationship counselling.

They are a celibate, 'End of the World' cult which encourage followers to at least mentally and physically divorce from their partner, if not actually lead to divorces. I know they have Sister Shivani on TV offer such general advice, but that's just a salespitch ... marketing ... to get people into the cult. It's not what they are about.

I am really sorry to read of your circumstances. It's terrible. No, you should not accept it and, no, you should not support him financially.

if he won't change, then kick him out. You already have one child to look after, you don't need a second, adult sized one.

Certainly do not feed and reward his addiction by giving him money.

You don't say where you are but may also find a women's groups near to where you live with people to support you.

The Brahma Kumaris do not offer this kind of support.

Be strong and if he is in any way abuse or violent, report it immediately to the police.

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