Was it too late?

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ex-bk Jan

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  • Joined: 05 Jun 2014

Was it too late?

Post09 Jul 2014

Dear ex-l,
    1. When you left this BK clan, had you ever think, everything too late?
    2. How is your relationship with your family, friends and career before and after BK clan?
    3. What was happened on you? And what did BK clan caused you realised everything were not reliable?
    4. I believe many victims, anyone take legal action against this clan? (during year 2000 to current)
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ex-l

ex-BKWSU

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  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Was it too late?

Post09 Jul 2014

Sorry, can I ask, what do you mean by "everything too late"?

We were taught to believe that "everything was too late" because Destruction was going to be in 1986 ... and now it is 2014!!!

Yes, I wasted many years trapped thinking "everything too late".

In fact, they used to tell us everything would get much worse before 1986 Destruction and society would collapsed.

More later.
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ex-bk Jan

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Re: Was it too late?

Post10 Jul 2014

Dear ex-l,

For your own personnel, when you left this clan, was there any difficulty to re-build yourself and your life?

I was noted many BKs, they put a lot of time in this BK clan, and spoilt their relationship with family, friend and career, the most worse were their health, especially mental problem. When they realise the real face of this clan, I believe they might be age 50-60 years old.

This is my question, how you re-build your own life? Or everything too late, to save your relationship with your family, friends, your health? When left this clan, were they contacting you or anyone threaten you?
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Pink Panther

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Re: Was it too late?

Post10 Jul 2014

Dear ex-BK jan,

In these questions to ex-l (and he can answer for himself) what I hear is statements of your experience, that you have struggled or are still struggling. You are not alone, your experience is not unique, but it is unique to you because it is new to you.

Each person has different background and capacity to deal with the process of dis-enculting. No-one believes when they are in a cult that it is a cult. That’s "other people” and ”other groups”.

How strange do the beliefs and lifestyle of the medieval peasants appear to us today?. How strange will today’s beliefs and practices appear to people 300 years from now? Everyone believes they are normal and it’s others who are strange...

A cult is merely a small, non-majority cult-ure anyway. There is also a cult of the mainstream as well, people who do just go along and never question or examine their own lives, accept the paradigms of their parents and society and media. That may work for some and some can live quite happily in that way.

One reason many of us became ”enculted” is because we were questioning & examining ourselves and our world , and we were looking for ways to live more meaningfully. The thing that actually makes the BKs a ”cult” in the full sense of the word is the way they are not pluralistic in their view of mankind (everything is evaluated according to their doctrines, happens because of them or exists to serve them or to hinder them i.e it is all about them!).

They see a person’s freedom to do & think as they wish, finding their own path in life as independent mature adults, as being inferior to doing or thinking what they (BKs) think ”god” says everyone should do. It’s a pseudo-spiritual game of ”Simon Says” or in this case ”Baba says” - do something else without ”Baba says” and you are out! The ones who only do when ”Baba says” are the winners! A quite childish and self-centred view of the world.

True fathers, true teachers aim to assist their children & students to grow up, to graduate, to move out into the world to live independently and make their own choices,, determine their own beliefs, find their own moral core and tasks. BKs and other cults make it all about themselves, insisting the guru’s way is superior. BKs (and cults) are insular and greedy, like a tyrannical Father who takes all the child’s or wife's earnings, keeping them dependant, in the belief that his patriarchy and values trump everyone else’s right to autonomy.

It takes time. Be patient. Use ‘replacement therapy”, i.e. just as you replaced your pre-BK life with BK thoughts, actions, routines and relationships, you need to now replace all that with new thoughts, new activity, new routines and new (or revive old) relationships.

BKs make so much effort over a period of time to become good BKs and replace the supposed ”lokik sanskaras”.

Ex-BKs need to make just as much effort to erase the patterns BK life created. Keep it up. It’s good when you reach the stage where you look back laugh at yourself and the rest of us for ”Did I really do that? How dumb we were!! :-)
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ex-l

ex-BKWSU

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Re: Was it too late?

Post10 Jul 2014

A quick answer as I am chasing time today ...

I think if I was to be honest, like almost every ex-BK I have met or spoken to, there could be no blame attached or accusation of my/our real families attitude towards me/us after leaving the BKs. I have no heard of a single case yet where individuals real families did not behave in the most accepting, forgiving, tolerant manner ... they were just glad for the BK to return back to being a normal person.

Were there any difficulties? Yes, but I think this was dependent on my age on entering the BKs. I was a fairly young adult (20) and so I missed out on lots of "normal" experiences and building relationships, and I threw away or destroyed by opportunity of further education. This has caused me many obstacles and huge losses career-wise in my later life. It was idiocy to do. I will discuss these later.

I think also, when I left, we knew nothing about all the lies and falsehoods we had been told by the Brahmakumari leadership, nor all the failed predictions of Destruction. Therefore, in my case, I took these very seriously as I thought I should ... as I was being told them by "god". I think my life was stunted and 'on hold' waiting for Destruction to come, thinking how futile making effort to establish myself in real life was.

I hope new ex-BK these will be able to progress must faster at rebuilding their lives and re-aligning themselves now that so many more truths about the Brahma Kumari lies have been exposed.

Sorry, I must stop there for just now. I think today is a very different time from when I left the BKs ... to begin with, there was no internet then and it was almost impossible for ex-BKs to find each other, share information and experiences with.
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ex-bk Jan

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Re: Was it too late?

Post10 Jul 2014

Dear ex-l and pink

Thanks for your sharing. I am still young, I stuck with this clan for 9 years. After 2012, no Destruction. I start to questioned myself, what I had really learnt or Is it useful for my own?

At the end, I got an answer, I cannot help myself at all or people given feedback answer 'drama' and 'karma'. I chose to calm down for few months, I searched internet for more answer about 'çult'.

The answer was given to me, which is 80% matched with what I had joined. I observed BKs whoever around me, I got an answer, they were very 'dangerous'.

What I meant about 'dangerous' was not they will kill people, but that they had lost their own mind, some I found had 'mental problems' (most of them by forced lack of sleep).
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ex-l

ex-BKWSU

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Re: Was it too late?

Post10 Jul 2014

Another minor issues arises when you return back to the real world ... what do you tell people you have been doing? It can be hard to tell them, "I was sucked in by an End of the World Cult", so you need to decide whether just to be honest, when to be honest, or reinvent your story as many of the high ranking ex-BKs have ... the "corporate coaching" BKs.

This is not an answer to your question but It is sort of funny to see the BKs being given an award by an 'event management' corporation (see other topics) because that is one thing they do relatively well. They are always doing PR, publicity and organizing meetings!

Personally, I think it is a good thing to avoid meditation like practises and, especially, to carry on doing BK meditation after you have left. The habit to float or drift away will be strong to begin with. It's far better to get involve in practical things and become grounded however you can.

Relationships can be difficult or strange because you "don't know the rules". I know when I started again, I was very naive. I was a poor judge of character and not practise in dealing with the rough and tumble of life. But other ex-BKs dive right in and have a party ... to be honest, I think it is a good think to break all the BK taboos and face all they fear ... just to find out that none of them kill you!

Real skills and education is the most important thing to have or gain. Start thinking as if you were going to live to 100 and plan accordingly.

The BKs fill your head full of nonsense about all the terrible things that will happen if you "leave Baba". They don't. I've had a very good and interesting life with many opportunities. I cannot complain. And it was my own life ... not living their life for them.

More later.

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