Decision Making and Family

for young people from 13 to 20 involved, interested or whose families are in the BKWSU
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kajal sharma

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  • Joined: 07 Jan 2017

Decision Making and Family

Post07 Jan 2017

Om Shanti!

Firstly, I'd thank you for your enlightening videos that help us understand life and related philosophy. But, I've have a common problem that I get stuck in emotions whenever it comes to taking decisions. I start thinking for others, especially my closed ones and the impact of my decisions on their life.

I've seen two videos of yours - don't expect from others and everybody has their own perceptions. You should accept people as they are and respect their thoughts too. I got this point.

But, how to take decisions? for example, I was working in some other city since last two years. I struggles and made my career on my own and it was pretty good, suddenly my family called me back and now they're not allowing me to pursue. I know I am good at my work and can excel well in future. But my parents are more concerned about society and people's opinion. I tried making them understand. I understand their concern that I am staying alone in a different city, I am a girl ... etc. But, what about my career, my dreams, my passion? Please guide me ... how to take decisions, especially when your own people don't support you?

Guys, please enlighten me ... guide me.
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Pink Panther

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Re: Decision Making and Family

Post08 Jan 2017

Welcome to the forum Kajal.

There are many threads on this forum that cover the same types of questions and subjects.
Why not look around the forum and read whatever catches your interest , to inform yourself rather than expect to be spoon fed.

As to your parents, if they are modern and educated thinking people, if you were overly concerned with society and people's opinion they would tell you to consider education and career more - i.e. they’d see what you are ignoring and guide you to consider that, to balance your views.

If you are intelligent you will know why they think the way they do. Here’s the thing though. If you are to be independent, you need to be fully independent - financially and emotionally. Most parents are not perfect, they will do what they think is best for you but that often is mixed up with what is best for them, keeping you close to them, or believing that you should think like them. That is, they are emotionally dependant on you to reflect them back to themselves.

Whether BKs or parents or narrow society, the same - they try to make you be like them, think like them. Break the mindset of needing to be instructed or directed by others. Being independent and mature means finding your own way, being prepared to fail occasionally and learning those lessons, being prepared to displease others who love you because you know that is not best for you, being free of the need to fall back on other people’s advice and financial help, especially if its given as means to make you indebted to them or dependant on them.

If you choose to ignore this advice I have given too, that is your right as well !!!

When you are free of any dependency you will find others who are the same, and to find love and relationship with another free independent person is the best, mutually beneficial kind of love.

For a woman, financial independence is most crucial to full independence.
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ex-l

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  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: Decision Making and Family

Post08 Jan 2017

It is interesting. I think you made a Freudian slip there, Sister.

(A "Freudian slip" is an unintentional error regarded as revealing subconscious feelings).

You wrote "my closed ones" when you probably mean, 'your close ones'. Meaning your close ones, your family, are closed minded. This is probably true, although perhaps they believe they are considering your safety/your marriageability, and so on. Is that what is 'next' on their minds, e.g. get you home and then get you married?

Why should you "respect others thoughts" if they are stupid, selfish or wrong? You should see them as they are.

The bottomline is, you have legal rights now and so if you want to exercise them, you can do. You've just got to do what women pioneers have always done. Perhaps reading some of their life stories would inspire you?

On the other hand, you are also just facing what all children must face at some point or another ... standing up to their mother/parents, saying no, and drawing a line. It's your life, your decision, and will have to you accept the consequences of doing so as your own. It's all about learning to trust your own intuitions and decision making processes, learning your own lessons, and creating your own life.

They may think they know more about life because they are older ... but life has also changed since their day, so it's split.

Better to think, "What other people think, is none of your business". No need to worry about it. The BKs just say that because they want their thoughts "respected".

And which "people" ... fearful, submissive types, or people who have stood up and made a life for themselves?

It would be irresponsible of us to make a decision for you or tell you what to do. Far better to find someone you know or admire in the real world, perhaps a woman who has achieved what you want to, and ask them for advice. Someone who can sit down with you, find out more about your circumstance, and share their experiences.

But please understand what the Brahma Kumaris are. The Brahma Kumaris, and Brahma Kumarism, is really not about these kinds of problem. The Sister Shivani videos and so on are just marketing fronts. Advertisements to appeal to vulnerabile people to suck them into their cult. To make them look good and attract you.

Once you are attracted in, then the true face of BKism starts to come out.

The BKs are an End of the World cult. They believe that 7 billion people must die in a nuclear war, Indian cities and society be completely destroyed in a civil war, and all of the other continents in the world sink below the oceans, so that they can enjoy a heaven on earth with Krishna and Radhe.

They predict this will all have happened by 2036.

Of course, like other such cults, their god spirit has made many false predictions of the End of the World before now.

The videos are designed to look modern and positive but their lifestyle has very strict or orthodox disciplines. They will separate you from your friends and family, attempt to suck you in to become one of them, and control every aspect of your life. Ultimately, they will take as much money, property and free labour from you as they can. You will become their robotic, non-thinking, non-questioning servant pushing the religion on others.

They say, "everything is free" to suck you in ... but then they end up taking everything from you.

This is probably where your parents are right to be worried about you because deliberately targetting young people away from their homes or family is something they do.

I don't know where you are but perhaps you can find a proper, non-religious women's group, or a network of women in business, or perhaps you can even start one to find support.

As much as possible, the BKs will take away your time, energy and money from building up and investing in your own life. They are also anti-sex and marriage ... so no children, no procreation.

We are here to help people understand what the Brahma Kumaris are all about so they can avoid them, or at least go into with their eyes open.

In your case, you need help and encouragement ... but they are not the right people to go to. Their help is conditional. They don't want to help you live as full a life as you can, but to convert you into becoming one of them and to surrender to their god spirit.
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kajal sharma

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Re: Decision Making and Family

Post08 Jan 2017

Thanks Pink Panther and ex-l for your response. Your words made me feel that I am thinking in the right direction.

Thanks for your motivation.
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GuptaRati 6666

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Re: Decision Making and Family

Post09 Jan 2017

Hello Kajal,

Pink's and Ex-I advice are sound. I would also add that you should develop your intuition and learn to listen to your inner voice with blunt honesty.

When you intuition is well developed you will be able to make decisions that will be beneficial to you in non-selfish ways.

It is also good to have as a friend some one, male or female who can guide you from their practical experiences or wisdom. That person can be a role model or mentor. I wish to stay away from using the word guru.

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