Leaving three kids

I know I said all my questions were answered but I have another one. Why are the Patel children being left ?

I was just checking out the News Section and saw this ... hell, I cannot believe it. Another BK, another country, another family of victims. Its getting to me ... it has been 70 years of this and the Brahma-Kumaris do nothing except for encourage it. From, here.

Pooja Patel Says:
April 29th, 2007 at 2:56 am

This is definitely true. My mother is willing to leave all three of us children and my Father in order to surrender herself to the BKs.

She wants money out of my dad to donate to the BKs. The BKs don’t even want to take care of her. I do not know what to do anymore. These people are brainwashing her to such an extent it’s crazy!

I wish there was something I could do about this. If anyone is willing to help e-mail me at xxxx@xxxxxxx.xxx

Why are the BKs advertising for retreats for moms, e.g. "Maya's Moms - Retreat for Upstate NY" when the Patel's mom is leaving them, for the BKs and taking the money with her?

Please, if you could, explain this to me. I don't think it's good to give parents that advice. I think that's just horrible that that mother is going to leave her three kids.

Seva

They are charging $150-200 dollars. I only get my age in allowance once a week!

I don't get it either. We told her to choose between her family or BKs and she chose BKs saying that she can never leave God.

She claims that we are being selfish people for not worrying about our next life, but I don't see the point of worrying about our next life when we still have this life to live. The BKs teach her to spread the word that the world is going to end, so my 8 year old Brother and 13 year old Sister are AFRAID at this age! By the way, I am Pooja Patel

Pooja,

Hi. I was little but just a little older than your Brother, when my family "died". I told people that, because I was little. I cannot remember much of it, maybe your Brother and Sister will forget too. My parent says it is a survival mechanism children have. Maybe I am forgetful, or maybe I don't want to remember.

Some times I would learn things but did not know I was learning things. Like the death thing too. I was told to come here for answers when I need to. When my family had trouble we couldn't and did not tell anyone. My aunts know, I told one about my parent being like a demigod. My other parent did not know.

It is hard, I love both my parents. So, I don't tell anyone outside my family about the BKs.

Having this religion is like a secret you cannot tell. Someone helped me, and spoke for me so I wasn't troubled with these things. I was lucky. I hope some one helps you too.

Seva

Seva: Are both your parents involved in this?

Pooja,

No, only one was. But, boy, was that one involved! I try not too talk about it because it is a sore point and then they argue. It is hard, especially if you love them both, even the one that had some odd ideas. I don't know if that one still does, I think not.

Seva

I see. Thanks for your help

Dear SweetSajani

Welcome, you are brave and responsible. As your Brothers and Sisters are still young, your dad has a heavy burden. If he finds trouble to speak to others about this, you could you ask him to join us in this forum? I do understand not all adults are good at speaking out or at using the computer yet hopefully he is open and humble to speak out here. Don't try to take all this on yourself. Your mother may have some sort of insecurity which the BKs are simply giving her now. Your love for your family is one of the strongest weapons to have. It is surprising that at times BKs can not see this even though they are told in Murlis that charity begins first at home.

Take care
Bansy

(Many of the members of this forum are adults and hence hesitate to interject as little in this Youth forum. Hence we'll prefer to leave this forum for your interactions with other youth members, and you know you are always open to raise threads in the rest of the website. I see you've already done so).

Hey bansy,

Thanks for your help. By the way I am 20, I just kind of clicked the wrong button saying I am under 13!

Thanks for the advice and your kind words. My Father is kind of computer illiterate but he always speaks to me and talks to me about it. I hope things become OK. If not my faith is kind of gone.

Pooja,

Maybe I can tell you who spoke for me. I had ( I can go back any time I want or need to) an advocate/counselor who only represented me. No one else, just me. I think since your mom is not getting good advice, you may need one too, for your Brother and Sister.

See, people need to know that little people have rights too. I thought it was too much religion for me, so I was lucky I had the advocate/counselor. The advocate will speak up for you without getting into trouble, they also let you know that little people have rights.

The right to be free from harm (your parents cannot hit you).
The right to be free from verbal abuse (they cannot call you names)
The right to be free from duress abuse (telling you the world is going to end or telling you stuff about food).
The right to be cared for, a home, food and school.
The right to be happy (this means if you don't want to go to the centre you don't have to).

The advocate tells your parents that if they learn they are causing you harm they will have to answer for the harm. This makes everyone really cooperative and things get better. Also, the advocate tells you to have big people that you can go to for comfort like an aunt or an uncle if you are having any problems. Some one old like fifty or maybe forty years old because the advocate is not always around and they give you phone numbers too, but I never needed them.

I know I have some old ones to talk to and one that knows about this Gyan stuff to. I can ask that old one about the Gyan stuff if I need to, only I messed up my e-mail just about two weeks ago. But I can get to him too. You can also ask your teachers for help. My teacher was really nice to me and understood.

I also, have one old one that helped me (with Gyan stuff) but I don't know who that is, I think he is really old. My parent found that one for me, but I don't know that one, my other parent does.

My advocate is very nice, you can get one too. They represent only you, only your needs, no one else and you can tell them to tell things to your parents if you are just not ready to. Your Brother and Sister shouldn't be worried or afraid and your mother should not hit you, or your dad or anyone (that is abuse). Oh, yelling is verbal abuse too . The advocate arranges family meetings too, only they have to bring one that represents them but not all the time. So, ask about an advocate and maybe they can help you too.

Bye,

Seva

Thanks seva.

Yes, thanks Seva for reminding us that we too have rights. Looking at your post gave me an insight to go and look and it turns out there is a campaign for "Portecting the Human Right to Freedom of Expression":

Global Internet Liberty Campaign, Protecting the Human Right to Freedom of Expression on the Global Internet,

Some times it takes a child's cry to wake us all up to the truth. Seva even adults need advocates.

Although this thread is 10 yrs. old, my heart aches reading and seeing it.

I have seen so much of what I thought was profound love within particular Indian families; protecting their children while all the while many were brought to the center, some under duress. I recently had a conversation with a lovely Sister who is a BK as well as her parents. We've known each other and worked together for many years. She was frustrated one day and stated that while now in her 20s, she doesn't feel what she once did and doesn't totally agree with all the teachings.

When she told her parents, they were extremely angry, telling her "Maya" etc .., that they would disown her and that if she ever questioned and /or left, she would be dead to them.

I was so appalled. She told me that she goes to a young person's retreat; she travels to Canada to visit other young people and she knows that she is not alone, which is helpful. At such a young age, she looks and sounds in despair. We talked about some options she could try, but she said I just did not understand the culture.

She said she may actually move there to be near others who feel like she does. We stay in touch, but it's heartbreaking.