bkti-pit wrote:To swordofjustice and clearenow:
I also thank you for winding down your PR speak. I think I understand your position better and I respect that. I was holding a similar position myself. I did it for 25 years, following all disciplines, dedicating myself totally, literally giving my bones, but allowing myself to interpret The Knowledge in a way that would make sense to me.
However, in doing so I was not following every Shrimat and thus I was not strictly following BK Raja Yoga. For each reference I could find in the Murlis to back up my interpretations I could find a bunch that would indicate otherwise but I chose to ignore them.
With time my conscience became more and more uncomfortable with many of the ways of the Yagya (lies, hypocrisy, political maneuvering, etc) and I was seriously considering walking away from it whilst maintaining the BK lifestyle. I still had the faith that it was Gos behind it all and I was thinking that he must have had his reasons why he would let his Yagya be so dishonest and so insensitive and not do or say anything about it. I was however getting closer to the point where I would rather follow my conscience than keep supporting God's Yagya.
This is where I was when I found this website. It was a big eye opener for me to find out that there was no God Shiva in the BK knowledge until 1950 whilst pretty much everything else in The Knowledge was there already (the 5000 years cycle, the five vices, Laksmi-Narayan, etc). It was God Brahma who was considered as the Seed, the Almughty, the Creator and so on, but there was no mention of what is considered to be the most important aspect of The Knowledge: unadulterated remembrance of Incorporeal God Shiva, the Purifier.
It is said in the Murli that it is Shiva who gave that name "Brahma" to Dada Lekraj. It is also said that Shiv Baba started coming in Dada's body in 1936 and that he had been teaching The Knowledge from then and that his first words were: "I am Shiva, I am Shiva..." If that was true, how come Shiv Baba would have allowed it to go on for so long before making it clear about the most important aspect? And if there is a good answer to that, why has it been hidden from us?
The only credible answer for me is that it is a big lie. All those who were there at the time must know when and how the shift from God Brahma to God Shiva happened. It would be interesting to know. Did they simply have such a faith in their God Brahma that when he changed his mind to "Oh it is God Shiva speaking through me..." they accepted it without question? In which case I guess that in their eyes rewriting their history was simply a benevolent tactic (yukti) inspired by God in order to benefit the world.
I am left with the question of what was the nature of my meditation experiences. Where they really experiences of God? I could also make a list of the personal benefits I drew from my beliefs and practices as a BK, including recovery from seriously incapacitating spine injury about which my orthopedist told me that nothing could be done, but does it prove it is God? I have been allowing myself to doubt it. I think it is the only sensible position that I can take for now and I do feel very good about it.
I also respect your position, buddy, even if it's different to my own.
You know, regarding the early history where Dada Lekhraj thinking he was God, I draw a different conclusion. I see it as he had this enormous power come into him, so he thought he was God. It took years to get to a point of the divine power correcting that. In that time, he founded this religious group, I presume took up vegetarianism, celibacy, etc based on his Hindu spiritual understanding and drawing on those traditions he had studied through his life where he took gurus, etc. He was a very religious man.
I don't view changes and developments since then as meaning the entire teaching is a lie. I do understand how changes can cause those kind of doubts but I see the changes and developments as very positive. The modern workshops on self esteem and others that tease out these concepts from the Murli teachings are very wonderful in my eyes. The main thing is whether each practitioner actually follows the essence of the teachings, and the signs of that are a calm nature, respect for others, good wishes, honesty, decency, a healthy life balance, and more. Given that, I don't believe we can expect perfection of any group of human beings no matter how spiritually minded and sincere, though. This is just the human race and so BKs, even ones in the leadership, may falter at times. My wish for all is that each one finds the deep pool of respect, good wishes and love that lies inside and can be reached through sincere meditation practice.
I am glad to hear you had good experiences in meditation. You know, there's no reason why they couldn't be connected with the higher power, even given your thoughts on the path of BK.
Anyway, you seem well and happy and I am glad for that.
I think all of us just need to remain clear, rational and keep very open eyes about whatever we choose to do in life, whether that's BK or anything else in life. You have to be happy with yourself and what you're doing.
Cheers,
Sword