Interview with BK Shivani

Interview with BK Shivani

Excerpts from a telephonic interview with BK Shivani by Suma Varughese, Editor in chief of Life Positive, during inauguration of Life Positive Expo , at the India Habitat Center, New Delhi.

Q. Your clarity is amazing, and yet you are so young. What has your journey been like?

A. I have been with the Brahma Kumaris for the last 15 years. My mother used to go to the center about four to five years before I joined. Gradually I started going to see what it was about. Then, after my engineering I got married ... but during this process I also began understanding these truths clearly. Till then I was not very serious about spirituality.

Q.Oh, you are married?I thought you were celibate ...
A: I am celibate but I am married. I have been married for the last 15 years and I live with my husband but we are celibate by choice.

Q: Celibacy is not a problem in the marriage?
A: Not at all. Not that it is compulsory but we do understand the benefits of it. In fact, it makes our relationship very nice. It is an illusion to believe that a physical relationship is vital in a marriage. We are the best of friends. I go to the center everyday for the daily study and I see how one can use the teachings in the field of work and in the field of relationships. I think that is how clarity has dawned.

Q: Would you say that relationships are one of the most challenging aspects of life?
A: Yes, in our show on Aastha, almost 80 to 85 percent of the questions are on relationships.

Q: Why are relationships so challenging?
A: Relationships do not work if we do not work on ourselves. The equation does not work if we are trying to care for the other without caring for ourselves. A parent is stressed and anxious, but wants to make his children happy. A spouse is unhappy but wants to make his wife happy. If every soul takes care of itself, relationships will evolve. If I cannot create my happiness, I look to my spouse or my family to give it to me and they are looking to me to give it to them. Both are demanding what they are unable to give to each other.

If a parent were at ease and comfortable with himself, a child would never know how to fear an exam. When they see our reaction to a failure, and how our faces change, they begin to believe that happiness depends on external achievements. Spirituality, on the other hand, says that I am the creator of my inner state.

Q: Despite being a gold medalist, how come you chose to put your energy here rather than going into the material world?
A: Actually it did not happen in one shot. I was staying at home and working with my husband and studying the teaching. Then I shifted from Pune to Delhi and got the opportunity to serve at the retreat centre in Gurgaon. I was also working side by side in my husband’s company, but I could choose my time since it was our own work. My first priority was always the centre. Whenever free, I would work on my husband’s office. So that is how it happened. I was tapping into a natural instinct for a human being to share something they like, even if it is a movie yousaw or a restaurant you visited.

I just like the truths I learnt at the Brahma Kumaris. I saw them working practically. I found a lot of people looking for them and I felt like telling them... it was not a pre planned decision.

Q: Has the teaching clarified the truths for you?
A: I would not call myself a teacher in the first place. I am still learning. We all have a study class seven to eight in the morning. Whatever the teaching, let us say it is“Criticism damages”, we try to apply it for the whole day. We play with it. Does it work? Does it not? How much can I use it? Let us suppose the subject is anger. How long can I survive without losing my temper? When I don’t use anger, does work get affected? Do people listen to you if you don’t get angry? Sometimes I pass the test, sometimes I fail. If you fail, you start all over. It’s like a fun game. You pick up a skill and
then you use it.

So it is simply a process of learning, applying and sharing. And because you have tried and tested it, you know how it feels. Suppose I am giving a talk to 500 people saying that everything can be done without anger. When you have the practical experience that this is possible, you know it works and can tell them what to do in certain situations. Science and spirituality are connected. Both say the same things: Don’t believe, experience.

Q: As a science student, how did you reconcile science and spirituality?
A: When I came into spirituality, I initially found it strange. How can God teach? But then I understood that even in science, you start with a hypothesis. Suppose A=B. Once you prove that this is so, you write, therefore A=B. I asked myself, why not take all they say as a hypothesis and experiment with it? That is how it is done in science. You start with a belief, experiment with it, get the results and then it becomes the truth. Let us suppose I have been taught that you are not a body; you are a soul. You start off with that belief, experiment with it and eventually you experience that you are a soul and not a body.

Spirituality teaches us to challenge our belief systems. In religion we got confused because we left it at the level of belief; because we never experienced the truths. So many people ask you if you believe in God. They never ask if you have experienced God. Science and spirituality are connected. Both say the same things: Don’t
believe, experience.

However, very few people apply this wisdom. Sometimes we listen to profound words and go back in awe of the words and of the person who delivered it. And that is it. We never try to apply it. I also think that it is most important to be simple. The sad part today is that everyone tries to make spirituality difficult. People assume that what is hard to get must be profound.

Q: Do you find that people are more receptive to spirituality these days?
A: Everyone is ready,even schoolchildren. I cannot tell you how many children have told me that they watch my show. When I ask them if they understand it, since it was not designed for their age, they say, “However much we understand it is good for us.”Children are having relationships in the 4th and 5th standard. They are facing rejection and hurt. If the disease is starting early, the healing must too.

Q: Are children really that precocious these days?
A: the 5th and 6th standard, they have proper girl friends and boy friends. The sad part is that children cannot talk to parents, because immediately they are told, “You are bad.” There is just so much confusion and hurt. By the time they have got out of school, they have tried everything. There is so much exposure. It is the vibration of today’s times. They need to learn how to handle rejection. They are therefore very ready to learn about spirituality. You have to just give it to them simply and practically. If they understand spirituality will help them with their anger, hurt and so on, they will take it up.

Q: What lies ahead?
A: We are going through a world transformation, not world destruction. It’s already happening.People are taking care of their health, their well-being. That is Satyug. In Satyug, people will be healthy, wealthy and wise. The key factor to bring out this change is taking responsibility for one’s own life.

Hundred per cent responsibility. No blaming anyone else. As sanskars (conditioning) change, sansar (world) will change. It will be a gradual ongoing process. We won’t ever come to know the precise moment of the shift. It is just like morning shading into afternoon, evening and night – it flows.

Q: Can you give us some tips on how to make the spiritual journey easier?
A: It is a misconception to believe that the journey is a hard one. It’s a beautiful one.Anyone who works on themselves will enjoy the benefit of the change. It is like exercising. It’s not hard, it’s just going to make my life better. Spirituality is like a way of life. Take a small thing like waking up the children. Does it have to be rough, by pulling them out of bed? Or can I do it in a different way? That is spirituality. It is nothing separate from living. It simply consists of doing everything I am presently doing, but taking care of how I aminside while doing it. Stay happy, easy, contented and now do everything. That is spirituality.

Press Interview: Dadi Hriday Mohini

During the Platinum Jubilee celebrations of the Brahma Kumaris in Chennai, India, Dadi Hridaya Mohini, Addl. Chief of the Brahma Kumaris, was interviewed by B Sivakumar of Times Of India for Speaking Tree, on how to make the mind our best friend.

How do the Brahma Kumaris view the problems the world faces today?

We believe that all problems faced by all of us can be eradicated by enhancing values that strengthen character in all people. There is a well-known saying that ‘if character is lost, everything is lost’. Hence, our organisation gives utmost importance to building strong character and to peace. We believe that if peace is lost, everything becomes meaningless.

Hence, it is important to inculcate moral and spiritual values in people.You need to realise the true Self, your inner being. You have to understand that you are a soul, an energy expressing yourself through your body, playing various roles like those of mother, wife, boss or subordinate. We ought to realise that as energy we are healthy and efficient, and we can play any role perfectly.

What is the difference between the Brahma Kumaris and other schools of faith?

Ours is not a religious organisation. We do not claim to profess any religion. Religion or dharma means a path that you have chosen to live your lifestyle. What we see in Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism and other religions is a set code of conduct or a path given by God through God-sent messengers according to the need of the time.

These helped in sustaining values and morals which led to certain levels of peace, love, and happiness in the world. According to the Brahma Kumaris, life means expressions and experiences of the soul through the body. We believe in ahimsa parmodharma which means non-violence at the thought level and not just words and action, which is achieved when you realise that you are a soul — an embodiment of peace. Whether it is peace, love or happiness, unless we are filled with these positive energies, it will not be possible to share it with others or spread it.

How do you initiate people into your organisation?

People from all walks of life and different religions have been following the Brahma Kumari way of life. Those who wish to join us are given an hour-a-day course, which lasts for seven days, which includes The Knowledge of Self, the Supreme Soul, and the time.

Mostly, the courses are available to all without any fee. We also conduct seminars and lectures on self-management and stress-free living for multinational companies, colleges, schools and welfare organisations in India and abroad. Those who wish to know more come to the classes, meditate regularly, and adopt and imbibe the teachings based on their experience of self-transformation.

Tell us about communion with Shiva Baba?

It’s important to understand who Shiv Baba is. God is Father; He is light and is accepted in all religions. God is one and He is the same for everybody. Also we have to understand that as sentient beings, we are souls; we are a subtle, invisible energy with divine qualities. God, our Father, is also a soul, an invisible sentient energy, who is always pure and is an ocean of all divine qualities. Shiva means light; He is the bestower.

He is our Father; hence we receive and inherit His qualities without even asking for them. When I’m conscious of my existence as a soul, I can experience whatever relationship I want with the Higher Consciousness. I can look at Him as a Father, mother, companion or just friend. On the basis of this soul consciousness, I communicate with Him and experience unconditional love. It is like when we love someone we let him take over our life. Similarly, He takes over my life.

To Him, I tell all things, like we share everything with a friend, and just listen to what He has to say. I become a medium of communication for Him, so that He can share what He wants to with other children.

His love, peace, happiness, knowledge, bliss and power flows through me to others and I get benefitted first. I’m filled with these energies and hope that everyone can become as fortunate as I am.

How can I realise my inner potential?

You have to learn about your true Self. Only then, there is an access to your own strength and inner potential. So this Self-awareness is very important. For instance, a person is able to access knowledge related to medicine, and treat a disease or perform a surgery only when he is conscious that he is a doctor. With this consciousness and awareness, he can use his potential and capacity to the best of his ability. If there is memory loss, access to information is blocked; he won’t be able to help anyone, no matter how much others tell him that he is a doctor.

What is Raja Yoga and how different is it from other forms of Yoga?

In Raja Yoga, there are no physical exercises and there is no chanting. There aren’t any special asanas either. You can sit in a comfortable position. Raja Yoga is practised to channelise thoughts towards the Self and Supreme Soul. Yoga means connection; it means establishing a connection with the Self and with the Supreme Soul. By practise of this Yoga, you gain control over your senses. You become a king, hence it is called Raja Yoga.

How can we make the mind our best friend?

How do you treat your best friend? Give him time and never say that you are too busy. Very often, you drag your mind, even if it is suffering from stress and pain, because you have work to do and have to take care of others. Give your mind a few minutes, rest and let it heal itself.

Help him with the power of love from God through meditation; heal the wounds and scars by letting go of bad memories, and incidents, and people’s mistakes, by forgiving them. Don’t let what others say make you feel miserable.

Listen to your mind carefully; your inner voice can guide you, protect you from doing mistakes, nurture it with happy and positive thoughts. Good and positive information is the healthy food you give to your mind. Keep it healthy. Don’t make your mind fearful or angry with negative thoughts.

Can you suggest a few simple steps to overcome stress?

Believe in yourself; remember who you are and whose child you are. Always think that everything happens for the good. Remember, ‘This too shall pass’. Talk to the Self; invoke confidence to respond effectively. Accept everyone as they are and how they are. Read and listen to positive information.