A question from the wife of a BK adherent

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A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post01 May 2014

A question to the site Admin received from the wife of a BK adherent ...
****** wrote:
I would like to know how I can get my husband to know the real truth about the BK, that they are a cult and out to break his relations with his family.
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ex-l

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Re: A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post01 May 2014

Here we go again ... another case, see BKs ruin family life. And given we only see and hear of a tiny fraction, and only a fraction of Indian followers have home internet etc ... how many case happen.

One day a wife or parent, the next a husband or a child ... the BK jugannath keep rolling over families tearing away members and stealing their wealth.

Does anyone have an answer? BK is like a drug addiction once the individual becomes hooked during the "intoxication phase". They lose their rational capacities and are indoctrinated into a false world full of false logic, perpetual revisions and tricky excuses. Trying to discuss with them rationally ends up in arguments, as they play out a martyr phase ... and behind the one connected family member, there are the possessing spirits of the Seniors and centers-in-centers encouraging the new BK to do as they did with 1,000 little tricks and yuktis of how to deluded or even exploit their real family.

I wish I had an answer for these individuals. The real question is how to make the BK leadership honest and stop this cycle ... but they won't.

They live and feed off it, literally and egotistically, like spiritual parasites.

We can give the family members factual information about the lies the BK leaders tell, the failures, the abuses etc ... but, truth be, even if you showed them it happening, most enculted BKs was just glaze over it in a kind of spiritual panic at their world being dissembled and retreat into their trance state.

Perhaps the only way is to make so much trouble for them (the leaders) at the center, in person and in front of other BKs, that they will send the BK back home. The BKs don't like trouble and are not beyond chucking individuals out, even after they have made them dependent on them.

Read the facts here and base your accusations on the truth ... they don't like that either. It is against their religion.

BKs have been breaking up family for over 70 years and feeding off their wealth.
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Pink Panther

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Re: A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post02 May 2014

how I can get my husband to know the real truth about the BK, that they are a cult and out to break his relations with his family.


They are not out to break your husband’s relationship with his family. But they have no concern if that is a consequence of his involvement.

Indeed, they will try to get him to involve his family as well.

If unsuccessful with the family, they will encourage him to do whatever it takes to prioritise his continued participation as a BK, regardless of consequences for career, education, family etc.

See the link in the last post to the discussion with someone in a similar situation
BKs ruin family life and others on this forum.

Maybe you can can keep a log or diary for a few months showing how much time he spends away from family friends, work, study, interests etc - an objective set of data. If you can, keep financial records too - how much money goes to BKs or potential income that is foregone, jobs around the home not getting done etc, and most importantly any changes in communications, relationships between you and others etc

Tell him there are many other meditations and spiritual practices which allow, even encourage, personal autonomy and do not demand ”surrender” to an external organisation.
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ex-l

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Re: A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post03 May 2014

I still think human beings are human beings and they don't change that much just because they change their clothes and put on a religious costume.

I have often accused an element within Brahma Kumarism of being little different from "gold diggers". "Gold digger" is slang for a woman who only dates wealthy partners with the primary intention of exploiting his wealth.

When it comes to male adherents being encouraged to "detach" from their wives and families and "serve Baba" ... usually meaning 'serve the center-in-charge' as an unpaid driver, handyman, general laborer, servant, bodyguard etc ... how different is it really from a sort of adultery where the male adherents is encourage to transfer his emotional affections and loyalty from his wife and family to the center-in-charge or zone-in-charge and the BKWSU?

Although they may not ultimately 'put out' ... once hooked they subtly steer the adherents devotion to their Baba or Seniors ... the Sisters are sweet, coaxing and often use their femininity to attract men.

What goes on as a woman to woman level with a non-BK wife? Does not some woman to woman competitiveness to catch their man start to enter into the equation? For example, the BK center-in-charge has to secure sufficient financial support for their centre from somewhere and, for the most part, males remain the earners in India.

I think a slightly different equation exists in the Western order of the BKWSU but there is still the element of the unencumbered Brahma Kumari (no kids, no job, no family to look after etc) being able to play the role of the idea woman ... wise, serene, kind and graceful ... to attract males away from real world partners.

I personally don't believe in the BK philosophy at all and I don't even believe they do now ... they have absolutely no integrity when it comes to chipping, changing, re-writing and making it up as they go along ... I think the religion just a useful tool for them to get what they need and, largely, that is just the same real world stuff ... like property and land, income, food on the table, warmth and a few comforts to enjoy ... that any other woman in a traditional society wants and gets from males.

The Brahma Kumaris have just learn a good trick to get it not by getting everything from one man ... and having to pay the price ... but by getting lots of little bits from many men ... and never paying the price.

They are just either coquettes, if young and attractive ... who use flattery, spiritual chit-chat and religious role playing, rather than sex, to get what they want and cannot provide for themselves; or cuckoos in the nest, if fat, old and ugly ... usurping the position of wise elders in other people's families.

Correct me if I am wrong.
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Tanya

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Re: A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post04 May 2014

Here, I would like to share something I experienced (and still do, at times) when I got to know some 'harsh' realities about the BKs through this forum & decided that I would maintain a healthy distance from them. (Sorry, because I am digressing from the current point of discussion i.e. Question from the wife of....)

When I decided to kinda 'quit', a strange feeling of guilt started creeping in because of some things that they had badly filled up my mind with, like -

"There were many 'children' who came & Baba gave them so much love, care, the best of amenities, nurtured them so well and still they left Baba ! So Baba also doesn't remember those children at all & they have no place in His heart ..."

"Golden Age is only for those 'Sweet Children' who whole-heartedly follow the 'Shrimat (Godly directions)', never question anything about Baba and The Knowledge and do 'tremendous service ' (whatever that means) in the Confluence Age ..."

"Your lokik family and duties are secondary & you should fulfill your responsibilities there like a 'Trustee' completely detached ... but for the Centre you should do whatever it takes to maintain it & keep it going because actually that's like your real Home ... etc etc.

So, basically, if you try to question the activities of the Centre or try to quit, they make you feel like a 'Loser'.

At times a feeling of guilt disturbs me a lot and I find myself standing in the middle ... of nowhere :-(.
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Pink Panther

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Re: A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post04 May 2014

And that, Tanya, is what gives the lie to so many organised religions.

They do not value the good for itself, or good people for themselves. They separate and discriminate on the basis of what distinguishes the group from others - and ironically, especially those most similar! (e.g. Christian sect the "Exclusive Brethren” have [as their very name implies] isolationist ”Maryadas” not unlike the BKs, considering themselves the true holders of Christian values ... as do so many others ...).

In the case of Brahmins (BK as well as hereditary caste conscious ones), they will eat from and drink with those they consider their own caste regardless of corruption or deceit (they’ll be told to be tolerant and let Baba/karma deal with it) but will avoid eating from, drinking with or enjoying the company of the ”unclean” - regardless of how hard working, honest and kind they are to others.

When it comes down to it, just like the badges on their chest, they identify good-bad, better-worse, and others by some artificial construct rather than what is commonly good & naturally decent.
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ex-l

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Re: A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post05 May 2014

Tanya wrote:When I decided to kinda 'quit', a strange feeling of guilt started creeping in because of some things that they had badly filled up my mind with, like - "There were many 'children' who came & Baba gave them so much love, care, the best of amenities, nurtured them so well and still they left Baba ! So Baba also doesn't remember those children at all & they have no place in His heart ..."

So, basically, if you try to question the activities of the Centre or try to quit, they make you feel like a 'Loser'.

I hope you have not been on too long and the sub-conscious conditioning has not become too deep. Many for whom it has have spent years pre-varicating - stuck in the middle of staying unhappily or leaving - and unpicking it.

What made you start to doubt them ... what did you see around the centre that seemed "ungodly" or not very divine?

I remember the first time, after a 100% record, that I decide not to go to morning class. I got a letter from the center-in-charge telling me how I would "cry tears of blood" and "grind my teeth like the sound of mustard seeds being ground" come Destruction. At that time "Destruction" ... now they call it "Transformation" ... was going to be in 1986.

It was the very stuff like ... "God doesn't remember those children at all & they have no place in His heart" ... that made me start to doubt I was really dealing with any kind of god. It was clearly just Lekhraj Kirpalani, and whoever re-writes and revises the Murlis emotionally manipulating naive and gullible individuals. Do they really believe any "God" would speak and work like that?

I think even dedicated BKs realise it's not but believe it is acceptable ... projecting their own image, and mutable morals or ethics, onto god.

How many tricky cultures create tricky gods in their image? In Hinduism, with Krishna you have a perfect example ... and who is it the BKs believe Lekhraj Kirpalani is ... but the Krishna. It's an archetype, deeply embedded into Hinduism that works on individuals without them even knowing it.

When I was a BK, I suspected that a large part of the Murlis were just Lekhraj Kirpalani ... but the center-in-charge denied it. They told us we should consider all of the Murli as if it was God speaking to us. It was only many years later; when I discovered that for the first 20 years or so there was no god in their religion, no God Shiva at all, and they worshipped Lekhraj Kirpalani as their god, that it started to make sense. It was just Lekhraj Kirpalani sitting with his 70 or so uneducated, unexperienced gopis (female lovers) ... mentally and emotionally manipulating the simple souls that they were. Individuals who had basically never seen the outside world. (They had gone from the closeted existence of their families, to the even more closet world of Om Mandli).

I also remember the first days of when I decided that I was absolutely free of it all ... it took me some months to disentangle myself physically, getting out of the communal housing etc ... it felt like being reborn again, becoming one and myself again, and being able to see and explore the world afresh.

I felt really free, however, I did also feel very 'on my own' at the time ... because, of course, to defy their god and priesthood is also to lose all the nice, if a little superficial and conditional, friendships one has traded in one's old friend and family for. To be able to ditch all the convoluted and codified language, and not have to conform to their norms, was such a relief.

I don't know if you want to say how long and how deeply you were "in" for, but depending on how long, it can take some readjusting. I think the sub-conscious mental conditioning that has been done is deeper than people realise. It can entirely re-write one's basic foundations, and the effects of it come and go. For some there is a coming down after leaving, as in the end of any relationship, others face period of deep regrets and depressing for all the time they lost and how stupid they had been.

It's best to avoid those dazed, floating, trance-like states you are encourage to drift of into, and remove anything that reminds you of them, I think. Best to get involved in life again and do whatever it is that you enjoy, makes you feel alive, grow, feel strong, or at least does some good for others.

Also give up that sense of total responsibility for the world, the End of the World and all of the other "God inspire mission" the BKs fuel themselves thinking about. We are all just little ants in this world ... try just being a good, happy, helpful wise one without the immense vanity of having to believe oneself to be one of the top 108 souls in the world and a would be Golden Aged Emperor!!!

Life goes on. Things go up and down but are generally getting better for most people. There are wonderful things happening. Try and be part of it. Don't worry about stuff that is *way* beyond your own influence.

Well done, you've seen through the game of religion and gurudom, and will be immune to the attractions of them for the rest of your life!
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Tanya

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Re: A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post09 May 2014

Actually ex-I, I cannot exactly single out which incident or reason became 'my' reason to believe/conclude that BK org is nothing but a 'sham'. Rather I think it was a combination of many things like - hypocrisy, their double standards, flattery by the centre Sisters with an aim to extract everything out of you, VIP-chasing, each BK interpreting the Murli in his/her own way ... and many other things that I started observing after 9-10 months of joining. I mean I found it to be such a hierarchy-driven organisation where the junior BKs/centre Sisters are clearly instructed Not to apply their 'own minds'. Eventually they lose their identity (which would have fetched them at least something, had they remained in their 'lokik' worlds) and become nothing more than 'puppets' dancing to the tunes of Seniors. They forget that they are there to work towards promoting 'world peace' and the focus shifts towards appeasing the Seniors so that they are also able to climb up The Ladder of hierarchy.

I was also told that I ask too many questions regarding The Knowledge and that I should learn to develop faith based on other people's experiences ! I found that so weird ! Perhaps, the teachers should start applying their own minds (rather than just blabbering all that they have been told during their training sessions) if they want people to remain glued to them. Unfortunately, my sub-conscious conditioning had become quite deep during my short stint because I had joined them with a very pure and genuine intention of knowing everything about spirituality & meditation and adopting it in my daily life & relationships. I did not spend too many bucks and did not even do 'a lot of haddi sewa' but felt disheartened because it was my faith & emotions with which they played :sad:.
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Re: A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post26 May 2014

The answer to the original question is simply to have him read this forum. I have not seen anything stated here that does not reflect my own thoughts/experiences of being the "lokkic" son of a longtime member.

Sadly however, my own Father is simply too emotionally invested in the organization to ever accept the truth about it.

Which is why I am becoming active here. In hope that my words may sway someone else's family member before they become another mindless drone in the BK hive-mind. Because after they have been completely used up physically, financially, and mentally, they will be sent back to the blood relatives who actually care about them, rather than what they can do for their "spiritual family". Or if their family cannot support/care for them in their old age, they will be cast out into the street like so much rubbish.
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arvind.giri

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Re: A question from the wife of a BK adherent

Post27 May 2014

Since BKs believe very much in Murli, so one way could be to extract some points from Murli like "Kisi ko dukh nahi dena hai" means you shouldn't hurt anyone, "Rachna ki sambhal to karni hi hai" meaning one must take care of creations, or "Ye Yoga to hai hi grahsthi walo ke liye" etc etc. Make them believe that Shiv Baba doesn't want them to leave family.
Better if it can be done with the energy of acceptance because no one in the world (BK or others) likes energy of rejection.

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