Dear everyone,
THIS IS AN OLD LETTER I WANTED TO WRITE IN THE ex-BK CHAT BUT NEVER MANAGED TO BECAUSE I ARRIVED TOO LATE AND AS A PBK. I AM SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO READ FROM OTHERS AND SHARE. THIS WEB SITE IS GREAT NEWS! PLEASE BE FORGIVING WITH MY MISTAKES, English IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE ... AIMEE
I have wanted for a long time to share my story and spiritual discoveries that made me change so radically these last months.
I had been a BK since Christmas/New year 2000; it is a date and an event I cannot forget. Like probably all the new born BKs, I felt that was it, I found what I had looking for all my life. A treasure of love, sweetness, knowledge, filled this too empty heart, healed so many wounds, and helped me to change drastically. This time was precious, and necessary to build up a foundation on my spiritual journey.
When the period of honeymoon is gone, we usually say that is when Baba believes we are strong enough to let go of our hand. We have then to make ourselves stronger and discover our own resources. This is a period, compared to the honeymoon, which can feel more like crossing a desert. So this is supposed to happen, as a natural process. I personally was so desperate to be a good student that I relied too much on other’s opinions, and I lacked the power to discriminate between the principles taught by God and what other Brother and Sisters told me/us it was the right way to think/act. Mainly, when I was rebelling against some attitudes, or a certain order in the family relationship, I used to shut these thoughts up and think this was my ego.
I reached a point (the self had been repressed for too long) when I thought I was becoming mad, did not know what was happening, was crying every day. There were a few very sweet souls to help me, I wrote a desperate card to a Senior Sister I always admired for her humility and clarity. I said in it that I felt I was dying, but I never received any response or acknowledgment. It is at that time I got to know about Advanced Knowledge. I recognised instantly that I was reaching something crucial. Then there was a switch in my mind, a feeling of relief and freedom. I was not crazy after all, I was just a free spirit, meaning listening only to the one who can give advice, because he is beyond judgment, loving, and knows exactly what I need to hear. Because I did not depend on anyone else, I became so strong, and happy. I did not mind defamation, loosing the support of the BK family, and excommunication, because I knew I found truth.
So mainly the idea is not that on one side there are baddies (the BKs or the “Shankar Party”, according to the point of view), and the other side the good ones. Unfortunately too many Brother and Sisters, on both sides, think this is the case. We really need to try to go beyond, as Baba does. When this world starts to become a real chaos, it is time for God to act. So, as it is logical to think, God is the main Character, or better speaking, the director. He acts first through the mother, and when the task of the mother is over, when she has given her share amount of love, it is the turn for the Father to come, and give education and inheritance to the children. Krishna and Ram both have a crucial role, the hero and heroine of the world drama. I will always keep in my heart all the love Krishna gave me, and he still has a role (different) now, in the Advance Party.
I went recently to a BK public talk in town. I was happy to see again my Brother and Sisters. I appreciated the genuine warm welcome of some of them. At the end of the talk, the Sister who had presented the talk came back to close the session. She told the public that then it was up to them, they decided on the path they wanted to choose and the life they decided to lead. This message was discretely but obviously directed to me by my sweet Sister! I would like to tell her and the souls who doubt about what I am doing, that I have never felt so certain about my path, even more than when I discovered the Brahma Kumaris. The Knowledge I am studying (still the Murli but taking in consideration all what is said) is very interesting, and there is no end to it. Although I still consider dharna to be a crucial part of my life, it is The Knowledge that helps constructing me as a complete spiritual being. The Murli is the sacred Godly knowledge, and it is transgression to cut it (it used to take around 6 pages 20 years ago!), or add to it (essence, slogan, etc.) to influence the students personal churning.
I have a lot of love for my family as a whole, I feel sometimes hopeless, because this Advanced Knowledge is hidden from most of my Brother and Sisters. At least if they were given the opportunity to see and decide for themselves. Who knows that we are doing the shooting for the broad drama, and that all what is happening now within the family will happen and has happened in the outer world? The control of the church over the believers ... and the same manipulation happening in other religious branches, that is the direct influence of what is happening in the family. But this is drama ...
With love to all my Brother and Sisters, BK, PBK, ex-BK.
Aimée
THIS IS AN OLD LETTER I WANTED TO WRITE IN THE ex-BK CHAT BUT NEVER MANAGED TO BECAUSE I ARRIVED TOO LATE AND AS A PBK. I AM SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO READ FROM OTHERS AND SHARE. THIS WEB SITE IS GREAT NEWS! PLEASE BE FORGIVING WITH MY MISTAKES, English IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE ... AIMEE
I have wanted for a long time to share my story and spiritual discoveries that made me change so radically these last months.
I had been a BK since Christmas/New year 2000; it is a date and an event I cannot forget. Like probably all the new born BKs, I felt that was it, I found what I had looking for all my life. A treasure of love, sweetness, knowledge, filled this too empty heart, healed so many wounds, and helped me to change drastically. This time was precious, and necessary to build up a foundation on my spiritual journey.
When the period of honeymoon is gone, we usually say that is when Baba believes we are strong enough to let go of our hand. We have then to make ourselves stronger and discover our own resources. This is a period, compared to the honeymoon, which can feel more like crossing a desert. So this is supposed to happen, as a natural process. I personally was so desperate to be a good student that I relied too much on other’s opinions, and I lacked the power to discriminate between the principles taught by God and what other Brother and Sisters told me/us it was the right way to think/act. Mainly, when I was rebelling against some attitudes, or a certain order in the family relationship, I used to shut these thoughts up and think this was my ego.
I reached a point (the self had been repressed for too long) when I thought I was becoming mad, did not know what was happening, was crying every day. There were a few very sweet souls to help me, I wrote a desperate card to a Senior Sister I always admired for her humility and clarity. I said in it that I felt I was dying, but I never received any response or acknowledgment. It is at that time I got to know about Advanced Knowledge. I recognised instantly that I was reaching something crucial. Then there was a switch in my mind, a feeling of relief and freedom. I was not crazy after all, I was just a free spirit, meaning listening only to the one who can give advice, because he is beyond judgment, loving, and knows exactly what I need to hear. Because I did not depend on anyone else, I became so strong, and happy. I did not mind defamation, loosing the support of the BK family, and excommunication, because I knew I found truth.
So mainly the idea is not that on one side there are baddies (the BKs or the “Shankar Party”, according to the point of view), and the other side the good ones. Unfortunately too many Brother and Sisters, on both sides, think this is the case. We really need to try to go beyond, as Baba does. When this world starts to become a real chaos, it is time for God to act. So, as it is logical to think, God is the main Character, or better speaking, the director. He acts first through the mother, and when the task of the mother is over, when she has given her share amount of love, it is the turn for the Father to come, and give education and inheritance to the children. Krishna and Ram both have a crucial role, the hero and heroine of the world drama. I will always keep in my heart all the love Krishna gave me, and he still has a role (different) now, in the Advance Party.
I went recently to a BK public talk in town. I was happy to see again my Brother and Sisters. I appreciated the genuine warm welcome of some of them. At the end of the talk, the Sister who had presented the talk came back to close the session. She told the public that then it was up to them, they decided on the path they wanted to choose and the life they decided to lead. This message was discretely but obviously directed to me by my sweet Sister! I would like to tell her and the souls who doubt about what I am doing, that I have never felt so certain about my path, even more than when I discovered the Brahma Kumaris. The Knowledge I am studying (still the Murli but taking in consideration all what is said) is very interesting, and there is no end to it. Although I still consider dharna to be a crucial part of my life, it is The Knowledge that helps constructing me as a complete spiritual being. The Murli is the sacred Godly knowledge, and it is transgression to cut it (it used to take around 6 pages 20 years ago!), or add to it (essence, slogan, etc.) to influence the students personal churning.
I have a lot of love for my family as a whole, I feel sometimes hopeless, because this Advanced Knowledge is hidden from most of my Brother and Sisters. At least if they were given the opportunity to see and decide for themselves. Who knows that we are doing the shooting for the broad drama, and that all what is happening now within the family will happen and has happened in the outer world? The control of the church over the believers ... and the same manipulation happening in other religious branches, that is the direct influence of what is happening in the family. But this is drama ...
With love to all my Brother and Sisters, BK, PBK, ex-BK.
Aimée