Help!

Help! - posted by: anova on May 11, 2004

I am in a relationship with an ex-BK man. The reason I am writing is because of the profound effect his by experiences are having upon him and our relationship. I need help and advice ... badly!

I am bearing witness to a man who is being tortured by fear. The origins of this fear are from the teachings of BKs regarding the repercussions of leaving the organisation. Although the reasons for his leaving are for him to tell, if he so wishes, I can say that he also suffered from spiritual turmoil as a member of the BK ‘inner circle’, so for him, he is truly between a rock and a hard place.

He left approximately five to six years ago and has had relationships prior to ours with little challenge to his psyche. For whatever reason, ours has brought his fears to the forefront of his mind. Such is his fear, he is considering returning to the BKs, although he is trying to find a compromise.

Let me make myself clear. Were he to say that he wanted to return because it was a such a joyful experience and he yearned to be a part of it again, I would not stand in his way. I am a staunch advocate of free will and as such, although with sadness and probably a broken heart, I would leave him with my love and best wishes.

We have debated the common themes: the dinosaurs, carbon dating etc. but the tenuous explanations he has been given, for him, suffice. He believes that the BK god and his teachings are the truth and has offered examples of experiences he has had that convince him of this. I come from a Catholic background (though am now lapsed) and have illustrated to him how they believe their god is the truth. He says that he has seen the BK god and conversed with him. I recounted my devout Christian mother’s three visitations from the Virgin Mary.

I no longer worship a Catholic god but let me tell you this; neither am I some spiritual worker ant that at the end of the world will be discarded along with so much other excess fodder. I know this to be the truth. I have a soul that in God’s eyes is equal to yours - I know this to be the truth because I feel it, my essence feels it and my heart tells me it is so.

As we stand at the moment, our relationship does not have a template for the future. After all, there is no future is there? Often, and increasingly when we are together, he feels guilt. Physically, spiritually and psychologically challenged, we are together still because we are connected in a way that neither of us can quite explain. When the BKs simmer on the back burner of his mind, we have such a good time We laugh - lots, we share our lives, experience the God given gift of being what we are ... human. W talk, walk, cook each other meals. We read passages from books that we think will inspire the other, we tell each other our secrets, our hopes and our fears.

I will ask you this why is your god so ego bound that to be human is punishable? What are the magic words that will release the person I love? What can he do, I do, you do to help.