Audacity and the BKWSU
Posted: 31 Oct 2009
Audacity wrote:I became a BK as a teenager and left at about age 21. I guess when I left I thought I would just try to get on with a normal life and put the BK experience behind me - go to college, get a job, meet new people etc, and that time would heal ...
However, it did not happen and I am kind of embarrassed to say that 25 years have passed and, if I am totally honest about it, I still feel that I cannot comfortably touch people, have friends, or eat normal food etc. I have been suffering alone in silence for 25 years, wondering why my life still seems to be constantly full of serious "bad luck", mental/emotional/physical pain & illness, and an inability to have happy relationships or make long term plans - despite years of therapy, positive thinking, good education and healthy living?
I discovered this site about a month ago, and the "penny finally dropped". I had no idea that so many ex-BKs existed and that the "programming" ran so deep, or that the BKWSU was, in fact, widely recognised as a destructive religious cult. I am amazed at how similar a lot of the ex-BKs stories are to my own. I am just so grateful to the people who started up this site and to ex-BKs who have been brave and kind enough to share their stories. At last I can know that I am not some kind of intrinsically defective person, but that my mind was programmed during my vulnerable teenage years with a lot of very insidious and destructive thought patterns, especially about what would happen to me if I dared to leave the cult.
Now, I hope that by talking about the BK experience and facing the lingering programming I can finally take back my life. It's never too late. I found a very helpful series of videos by an American therapist who specialises in post-cult recovery:
Best wishes to you all.