because.parmeshwar wrote:They let me go with few comments like "weaker brick"; "low status in heaven"; "will regret in future" etc etc. I did not bother ...
Good luck to you.
Yes, good luck, be constructive, enjoy your life, and help others.
I am interested about your interpretation of their response too ... what was written on their faces.
When I first began to wobble and stopped going to daily class, I got the kind of letter Because mentioned telling me how I was going to "cry tears of blood and grind my teeth like the sound of mustard seeds when Destruction happened" (Destruction was meant to be around 1986 back in those days). It was a literal quote from the Murli. I smiled at it as I thought it was sweet and only the center-in-charge's way of showing love, but the ideas of terror, failure and repentance were drip fed into our sub-consciousness and must have had an effect upon us.
When I actually left, I just left quietly and no one came looking for me. I could have killed myself -
and a few ex-BKs have - and they would not have known or cared. As Because says, strictly speaking that would only be a sign of what a "weak brick" I was, and served as a warning to other BKs of the terrible fate that awaked BKs if they left.
It is tough for some when the BK world has become their only world, because they have cut off from the rest of their family and society, and have no friends or support networks. One's mind is made very alien and separate towards the rest of "impure and degraded" humanity.
For me, that was not the case. I really enjoyed the freedom of being able to go out, explore new opportunities, meet new people, and remake myself ... and especially rest. To sleep in at the weekends! It was like being freed from a strange prison. I was alive again and all the time and energy I was pouring into their system, I was able to invest in my own life.
My health improved greatly.
It is amazing that you can give 100% of your free life and spare money, and then afterwards ... it is all worth nothing to them. Not even a "Thank you" or going away present. It's, "We'll have all that. You'll get nothing back. Now go away and leave us, you don't exist. You have failed and are impure now!". But this was before the internet and so we were not all subject to emails and phone texts. You may find you are still on their spam lists and need to stop them sending stuff.
It concerns me that young (poor) Indian girls are trapped in the BK system simply because they have no money, no real skills, no education and no escape route.
How can they leave if they want to?
At one point I actually went back, spoke to the senior Sisters and admitted I was having relationships and so on. One's response was so serious, it was shocking. God knows why. It was as if I had admitted to killing someone or something it was that bad! So serious and condemnatory, I felt. It was weird how they felt they had such a right of judgement over my life. The other remained "loving" but was obviously a bit embarrassed by it and just smiled I thought a bit nervously.
It was a horrible experience to put myself through and I don't recommend doing so. I suppose it was their response to not have power over me.
In all the years since I have left, and before starting this website, I've only met one "live" BK and they were obviously very nervous of me as I was no longer under the influence of BKs and exploitable in any way. Sadly, despite "knowing" each other for years we could have no conversation with each other. They could only say BKisms. I was in good shape at the time. I had not died. They looked rough and as tired as ever.
The BKs tried to shut this website down and during their legal threats they also held out their usual "carrots" or bait, as in Pink Panther's case. For example, I got invitations to come to for spiritual chitchat to correct my views, to visit their luxury mansion in the country, or even go to Madhuban. But I had seen their internal emails discussing us and so I knew what they were really thinking and saying amongst themselves, and what their real attitude was.
On one hand, they believe the "vibrations" will suck you back in again and you'll come running back Baba "before the end"; on the other hand, it's their way of managing and controlling you and your opinions about them, keeping you close or "serviceable" in case you become a risk or damaging to their reputation.
Quite a few Western BKs enjoy privileged treatments and access to BK facilities and, in that way, I would argue, the BKs avoid more criticism and free and open discussion about themselves.
If they cannot have 100% of you, they'll take 90% ... 60% ... 30% ... 10% ... whatever they can get. That's what they have learned now. It my day, and I guess in some centres still, it was 100% or 0.
But it's all just more manipulation of others which they would call "service". As in 'serving their interests', not yours or societies. Their response all depends on how high up you were, and "skilful" and experienced your local centre is at people management. Now it seems that if they cannot get you as a BK, they will use you as a half-BK on some half-BK project like valve education or management training.