An observation; what we share here is without doubt coming from our real experiences but both in the public and BKWSU in-house everything that is said, taught, inculcated and broadcast asserts that Gyan delivers the very opposite of oppression, fear, negativity, depression etc. How does this work?
Was I so susceptible to the promise of "liberation and liberation-in-life", that instead of developing the skills to self-identify what I need to be liberated from, I handed myself over to the God-men?
Was my personality in such a state when I came across the BKs that I surrendered myself completely to their promises? (I think that i know the answer to that). How powerful an "opiate" is the lure that when we become BKs we are in fact reclaiming that which is our birthright? The long lost and now found fortune of self awareness and sovereignity.
For me, is it that the mere prospect of attaining liberation from my 'ills' was enough to "switch me off"? And once switched-off did I live in a such a state of anticipation of this promised liberation, while drip by drip the Murli and BK systems kept me suspended in an "altered state of mind"? Not a substance induced mind-altered state but rather a mind-altered state of mindles of idealism? Unable to see clearly that at a deep level one set of dependencies were being replaced by another? Could this be my pattern of bahaviour unless and until i manage to break out of my dependency loop.
I was sharing with a forum friend a few hours ago that, as i was tinkering around late last night, i heard me cautioning myself that i ought to go to bed soon so that I could get up on time for attending the BK centre for listening to the Murli? I was a little shocked when this background talk came to my attention, but deeper significances of this did not hit me till this morning when i roused myself from sleep at 7.00am feeling quite disappointed that another day would go by with me being marked absent when the register was called. Why do i still feel - almost instinctively it seems - that there is benefit to be had by turning up for that ritual?
And inspite of all the BK-residuals in my psyche there still seems to be "courage" enough to announce my presence here as an 'exiting-BK'. Very cloying stuff this Post-BK Quicksand is not it? What a quagmire.
Was I so susceptible to the promise of "liberation and liberation-in-life", that instead of developing the skills to self-identify what I need to be liberated from, I handed myself over to the God-men?
Was my personality in such a state when I came across the BKs that I surrendered myself completely to their promises? (I think that i know the answer to that). How powerful an "opiate" is the lure that when we become BKs we are in fact reclaiming that which is our birthright? The long lost and now found fortune of self awareness and sovereignity.
For me, is it that the mere prospect of attaining liberation from my 'ills' was enough to "switch me off"? And once switched-off did I live in a such a state of anticipation of this promised liberation, while drip by drip the Murli and BK systems kept me suspended in an "altered state of mind"? Not a substance induced mind-altered state but rather a mind-altered state of mindles of idealism? Unable to see clearly that at a deep level one set of dependencies were being replaced by another? Could this be my pattern of bahaviour unless and until i manage to break out of my dependency loop.
I was sharing with a forum friend a few hours ago that, as i was tinkering around late last night, i heard me cautioning myself that i ought to go to bed soon so that I could get up on time for attending the BK centre for listening to the Murli? I was a little shocked when this background talk came to my attention, but deeper significances of this did not hit me till this morning when i roused myself from sleep at 7.00am feeling quite disappointed that another day would go by with me being marked absent when the register was called. Why do i still feel - almost instinctively it seems - that there is benefit to be had by turning up for that ritual?
And inspite of all the BK-residuals in my psyche there still seems to be "courage" enough to announce my presence here as an 'exiting-BK'. Very cloying stuff this Post-BK Quicksand is not it? What a quagmire.