In this first post I would like to introduce myself.
I have been introduced to the Raja Yoga meditation by a friend in 1983. He simply told me about "I am a soul", which made a lot of sense to me, and we had a 30 minutes open eye meditation together. I liked everything about it but that was it. I met that friend a couple of times during that summer. Each time he would tell me a little more about his new lifestyle and we would have a meditation together. It was nice but no more.
Later that year I made my first visit to a BK center for the evening meditation. It was a powerful life changing experience. I experienced myself as a soul, I experienced the Soul World, I experienced eternity, the eternal and original nature of the soul and I experienced the Ocean of Love. I had the clear feeling of coming back to someone that I had been separated from for a long long time. In my heart, I made a life commitment to that Being of Love who I felt I had been searching since 2 to 3 thousand years. I had not been told anything yet about the Supreme Soul or The Cycle of 5000 years and did not believe in reincarnation. For the first time of my life I felt understood. I had always been so different, kind of out of sync with this world of greed and arrogance, of fake and violence. Not only did I feel understood but I felt I was very dear to this Being and that my difference and mis-adaptation to the world were something very valuable. I knew this was God.
My feelings for the BKs were mixed though. On one hand, I felt welcomed and I really felt home, despite the white sari, the incense and the Indian posters but, on the other hand, I felt that something was forced, something was fake. Nonetheless, after such an experience during the meditation I was interested to know more.
I was living hours away from the nearest BK center but I got the Correspondence Course and got more explanations from my friend whenever we would meet. I began practicing meditation, although not regularly. I was already vegetarian and thought celibacy was a great thing but it took me some time to adopt it.
Once in a while I would receive classes from Dadi Janki but it was only a couple of years later, on my first participation to a BK retreat, that I was exposed to the Murlis. I do not remember anything from the Sakar Murli but listening to the Avyakt Murli I felt that it was the same Baba that I was experiencing in my meditations who was speaking personally to me. As far as the BKs were concerned, I felt that beyond the facade and the fake, beyond the control and the ego issues, they all had some genuine experience of God and were sincere effort makers. I decided to drop my resistances and accepted to belong.
From that day, although I still had problems with the identical repetition of The Cycle, I fully adopted the BK life, started waking up for Amrit Vela every morning and was allowed to read Murlis at home. I enjoyed each Avyakt Murli but not as much the Sakar Murlis: too much Indian Bhakti stuff which I did not relate to. It took me a while to develop love for the Sakar Murlis.
I eventually moved near a center, got involved in service, became a teacher and ended up becoming the right hand of the sister-in-charge. I have now moved to a bigger regional center where I am mostly assigned to physical tasks.
I love my Brahmin life. I can say that the study and practice of Raja Yoga has helped me tremendously. It made me better. I became more loving towards all and more in tune with my conscience. It freed me from most of my guilt feelings and my fears and pains (including physical ailments). My mind is clearer and lighter, my sense of truth and my intuition sharper. I have learned a lot about honesty, humility and self-respect and I am much less susceptible to negative influences. I could go on and on ...
However, I have seen a lot in the BK world that doesn't match my understanding of the teachings, a lot of arrogance and selfishness, a lot of power struggles and bossiness, verbal and emotional abuse, a lot of lies and hypocrisy ... Here also I could go on and on!
The first time I heard that a young London Kumari had been abused in Madhuban, it was just another item to the list for me. I had seen and heard so much already. However, I was shocked by the absence of reaction from the administration of the Yagya. Not only did they not provide any help or support to the victim but she was told that it was her karma! What an unloving mis-interpretation of the spiritual knowledge received from God. It was not my first experience of lack of love and compassion from the BKs or of mis-interpretation and mis-use of The Knowledge, of attempts of cover-up, etc, in other words of lack of spirituality, but this one was beyond and above them all.
I was told I could find out more about it on the web. My search took me to this site and I read E. Romain story. When our regional senior had introduced the new child protection policy at our Center, I had sensed that there must had been some situation and that this was an emergency response to protect the Yagya from lawsuits, etc. Reading this story made it clear that I was right. I was totally disgusted. How much lower and stinkier with dishonesty and hypocrisy can we get? And I am not talking about the ordinary BK, I am talking about some of the top ones in the BK hierarchy. I went into shock ...
Now, a few years later, I have recovered from it to some extent but I am still processing ... I came back to this site from time to time, checking the news. I eventually browsed the forum and decided to join.
Let me stop here for now. In my next post I would like to share about my experience of the Forum and try to explain where I stand as a full time surrendered BK who does not want to avoid the facts about the corruption, the dishonesty and the hypocrisy in the BK world.
Love to all!
I have been introduced to the Raja Yoga meditation by a friend in 1983. He simply told me about "I am a soul", which made a lot of sense to me, and we had a 30 minutes open eye meditation together. I liked everything about it but that was it. I met that friend a couple of times during that summer. Each time he would tell me a little more about his new lifestyle and we would have a meditation together. It was nice but no more.
Later that year I made my first visit to a BK center for the evening meditation. It was a powerful life changing experience. I experienced myself as a soul, I experienced the Soul World, I experienced eternity, the eternal and original nature of the soul and I experienced the Ocean of Love. I had the clear feeling of coming back to someone that I had been separated from for a long long time. In my heart, I made a life commitment to that Being of Love who I felt I had been searching since 2 to 3 thousand years. I had not been told anything yet about the Supreme Soul or The Cycle of 5000 years and did not believe in reincarnation. For the first time of my life I felt understood. I had always been so different, kind of out of sync with this world of greed and arrogance, of fake and violence. Not only did I feel understood but I felt I was very dear to this Being and that my difference and mis-adaptation to the world were something very valuable. I knew this was God.
My feelings for the BKs were mixed though. On one hand, I felt welcomed and I really felt home, despite the white sari, the incense and the Indian posters but, on the other hand, I felt that something was forced, something was fake. Nonetheless, after such an experience during the meditation I was interested to know more.
I was living hours away from the nearest BK center but I got the Correspondence Course and got more explanations from my friend whenever we would meet. I began practicing meditation, although not regularly. I was already vegetarian and thought celibacy was a great thing but it took me some time to adopt it.
Once in a while I would receive classes from Dadi Janki but it was only a couple of years later, on my first participation to a BK retreat, that I was exposed to the Murlis. I do not remember anything from the Sakar Murli but listening to the Avyakt Murli I felt that it was the same Baba that I was experiencing in my meditations who was speaking personally to me. As far as the BKs were concerned, I felt that beyond the facade and the fake, beyond the control and the ego issues, they all had some genuine experience of God and were sincere effort makers. I decided to drop my resistances and accepted to belong.
From that day, although I still had problems with the identical repetition of The Cycle, I fully adopted the BK life, started waking up for Amrit Vela every morning and was allowed to read Murlis at home. I enjoyed each Avyakt Murli but not as much the Sakar Murlis: too much Indian Bhakti stuff which I did not relate to. It took me a while to develop love for the Sakar Murlis.
I eventually moved near a center, got involved in service, became a teacher and ended up becoming the right hand of the sister-in-charge. I have now moved to a bigger regional center where I am mostly assigned to physical tasks.
I love my Brahmin life. I can say that the study and practice of Raja Yoga has helped me tremendously. It made me better. I became more loving towards all and more in tune with my conscience. It freed me from most of my guilt feelings and my fears and pains (including physical ailments). My mind is clearer and lighter, my sense of truth and my intuition sharper. I have learned a lot about honesty, humility and self-respect and I am much less susceptible to negative influences. I could go on and on ...
However, I have seen a lot in the BK world that doesn't match my understanding of the teachings, a lot of arrogance and selfishness, a lot of power struggles and bossiness, verbal and emotional abuse, a lot of lies and hypocrisy ... Here also I could go on and on!
The first time I heard that a young London Kumari had been abused in Madhuban, it was just another item to the list for me. I had seen and heard so much already. However, I was shocked by the absence of reaction from the administration of the Yagya. Not only did they not provide any help or support to the victim but she was told that it was her karma! What an unloving mis-interpretation of the spiritual knowledge received from God. It was not my first experience of lack of love and compassion from the BKs or of mis-interpretation and mis-use of The Knowledge, of attempts of cover-up, etc, in other words of lack of spirituality, but this one was beyond and above them all.
I was told I could find out more about it on the web. My search took me to this site and I read E. Romain story. When our regional senior had introduced the new child protection policy at our Center, I had sensed that there must had been some situation and that this was an emergency response to protect the Yagya from lawsuits, etc. Reading this story made it clear that I was right. I was totally disgusted. How much lower and stinkier with dishonesty and hypocrisy can we get? And I am not talking about the ordinary BK, I am talking about some of the top ones in the BK hierarchy. I went into shock ...
Now, a few years later, I have recovered from it to some extent but I am still processing ... I came back to this site from time to time, checking the news. I eventually browsed the forum and decided to join.
Let me stop here for now. In my next post I would like to share about my experience of the Forum and try to explain where I stand as a full time surrendered BK who does not want to avoid the facts about the corruption, the dishonesty and the hypocrisy in the BK world.
Love to all!