Hi Sarah, thank you and all for the latest posts on this topic. Briefly, the impressions I got from the mail/invitation to the open house restyled center, are the following, a mixture of my guts feelings and experience:
Maybe it's you who jumped into the BK stuff too quickly and got burnt. Or the center-in-charges were a bit too pushy from the start and now, after wondering where they went wrong, they want to apply to you a different method of indoctrination; more persuasive, offering impartial, "spiritual" chats and the rest. Teachers become breathless in trying to please higher ranks, eager and desperate (Why? Do most of them feature dysfunctional personalities?) to prove their worthiness and love for God, fidelity to the Yagya and so on by "giving the results" of service.
I don't want to imply that their love bombing and care for you was completely a pretense (again the analogy with romantic relationships could be made, and sometimes we prefer not to face the reality that someone pretended to love us and was a user!) but generally speaking, there's a big and questionable marketing operation going on in the BKWSO, which includes typical lokik strategies; benefits and losses of jobs. One of the aims is attracting and retaining customers. And, in your case, they failed. Usually orthodox BK teachers are thoroughly brainwashed people, who have lost the capacity to think and feel independently. They accepted their feelings and reasonings to be curbed and suppressed by their gurus, to whom they constantly refer for advice - "check with Seniors" - this is the rule. They've been tamed and trained and their hands are sort of tied.
Spontaneity is not the quality behind their actions. So, often when a student leaves, they will present the case to a senior who will give some smart suggestion on how to act. Ban the students, cut them out from service, try to hook them back, prompting them to attend programs or retreats ... And if you seem just confused but not too rebellious, anti or dangerous, they will stress that "the door of Baba's house is always open"...
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I find it more appealing and supportive to think, like some other poster also said, that God's heart is always open for me, and this would suffice and empower me
. If you smell danger, probably something stinks. Then, realize that some play the role of predators, and learn from the horse "Spirit"; run for your life and freedom!
A good option and protection, especially in case those center-in-charges really meant well, is that of sending them good wishes. They are convicts and therefore need them badly!!