Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

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eromain

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post20 Feb 2009

Hey Paul, thanks for your kind words. And thanks to Sukhi for sharing and creating a wonderful thread.

Eug
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ex-l

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post20 Feb 2009

paulkershaw wrote:Posts like this should be compiled into book form called "The Life of an ex-Yogi" and it will be a besteller.

Could I suggest ... nay, could I trademark even ... "Autobiography of an ex-Yogi"? Damn ... did I just put that out into the ether and give it all away?

Sukhi,

I am a kind of nuts and bolts person. I am more focused on the practical aspects of a problem. I like to focus on one small issue and then try and slow it right down, like a slow-motion movie.

Would I be stepping out of line to make the following suggestion? Instead of rushing towards a conclusion, there are still small steps you could take. In fact, this happened to a friend in real life. Not a post-BKs life. It was nothing to do with BK-ism and they had no BK inhibitions to stop them. But I know the women was very glad that it did and they took their time.

Its not necessary to rush right to full consummation ... this suggestion will be equally enjoyable for your husband as well. What I suggest is just going half-way to begin with. Your husband is obviously understanding and so I am sure will be able to work with this.

There is a very loving sexual position where the man lies behind the woman in what is known as "the spoons", like two spoons laying together in a drawer. The woman does not feel dominated or pinned down, the man is able to gently caress and stimulate her from behind. Its something that you probably do already before sleep (especially if you live in a cold climate now!). Its also a position where the man is able to penetrate the woman in both a gentle and shallow manner.

I was going to suggest that what you could do is just go to the next level, without going all the way. Go to playful, gentle, experimental penetration without having to go to full intercourse. Your husband can still touch you, he will get a lot of pleasure out of it. It could also lead you to greater closeness. Just lie their together, breathing, connecting but not having to move very much at all. The nice thing is, you can spend a long time like that listening to music, a raga perhaps, even chatting. If there is any embarrassment of intimacy, you do not even have to look into your partner's eyes. You are also in control and can simply move away if you wish.

This would give you a chance to see if the world WAS going to fall on her head afterwards ... I don't think it will personally. I don't go around wearing a hard hat and it has not fallen on mine yet. It is also exactly the same kind of stuff you will hear in tantra or professional sexual counselling. I do not detract from what others have written one inch ... but I am just trying to save you from the expense!

See what you think.

bansy

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post20 Feb 2009

Try your best Sukhi.

We are all oldcomers and still want help with our relationships it seems

It'll work out, stick in there and stick in here too.
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eromain

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post20 Feb 2009

I really like ex-l’s advice. For me, part of my development since the BKs, and I realize this is not true for everybody here, has been to seek to re-unify mind and body – to look at them as inseparable. So I really like ex-l’s involvement of one’s body in the process of learning to trust yourself, and learning to allow new and previously forbidden experiences. Trust can be looked at as a state of mind, or one can look at it as a verb – a thing we do and with every bit of ourselves. For me, now, I do not consider that I have learned something unless I believe it has permeated into my nervous system. Taking small steps that involve the body is really really good advice.

hugs all around!
Eug
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desi_exbk

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post20 Feb 2009

A big hug back at you, Eugene. Thanks for sharing your struggle. I am sure it will help others fight their own battles!

Can I be your literary agent? I am serious :D.
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eromain

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post20 Feb 2009

Definitely, just post me the advance.

:-)
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desi_exbk

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post20 Feb 2009

ex-l wrote:could I trademark even ... "Autobiography of an ex-Yogi"? Damn ... did I just put that out into the ether and give it all away?

"Autobiography of ex-l"? Now, that would be interesting! No doubt, a best seller among BKs - all varieties. I am sure BKWSU press would love to publish it. ;)
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tom

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post21 Feb 2009

In this nice atmosphere of friendship and solidarity amongst you folks, I want to come back to our topic and send to our dear Sukhi, and her beloved husband, my favorite love song from Leonard Cohen ... the great master, accompanied by Julie Christensen, live performance on Feb 14, 2007.


Dance Me To The End Of Love

sukhi

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post24 Feb 2009

Dear All,

I am back again, sorry I couldn't log on to internet for a while ... but, anyways, coming back to where I left.

I read all your posts, and a new post from Eromain. Thanks Eromain. It was really amazing to read your story and learn from it. It really touched my heart. Thanks for all your views about true love and suggestions ... and, also, thanks to Tom for sending me this wonderful love song, "Dance Me To The End Of Love". We really enjoyed playing it and the music is just wonderful.

Thanks again to all for helping me overcome my guilt conscious ... and I will definitely let you know when I will completely win over it. I am working on it and reading your posts is helping me a lot ... feeling much more settled, calm and light.

Meanwhile, I am also reading other posts and forums ... and will definitely stick here to learn more.

I guess I have made wonderful friends here.

Love to All, Sukhi ... :-)
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paulkershaw

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post24 Feb 2009

"Autobiography of an ex-Yogi"

Let's be clear here folks, I posted this FIRST!

If there's going to be any royalties earned on this book, its all mine. Be assured I'll use the money in proper light though. Darn it now, where is that 'For Sale' brochure for the big castle in the German Black Forest? So I can open up a 'healing the yogi' centre ... of course ;) ... and because its Sukhi's thread, she and her husband must too be involved. The rest of ya, by invitation only, k?
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admin

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post12 Mar 2009

As referred to here, Problem with private messaging system.

The following message was received by forum moderators by Brahma Kumari user master_creator in Singapore whose account has now been terminated. Its not clear whether master_creator intended it to be received by moderators but as it was an abuse of the forum's goodwill, and seeking to undermine our current policies, it is being published here in full, to document and the orthodox, uncensored Brahma Kumari point of view.

Unfortunately, due to a lack of resources and cooperation from the BKWSU, BrahmaKumaris.Info no longer supports this type of underhand communication. Our normal policy of not publishing private messages is being suspended in this case to make an example. All other private messages will be kept confidential or removed from the public forum.

Any BKs or BK supporters wishing to post, please do so publicly.

master_creator wrote:Om Shanti.

Dear Sukhi,

How are you? Hope you are fine and enjoying life under Baba's canopy of protection.

I read your forum topic and wanted to share my view of things. I am not going to tell you what to do - whether to go for it or not as - I do not want to bind myself in any karmic account however I will advise you the way I would have advised my own sister if she was in such a situation.

Come back! Where are you going? did not you read all the responses to you on the forum topic - cannot you understand that they are not following Baba's Shrimat? The things that some of them have spoken about are so lokik and Shudra type. Don't go by their stories. Each soul has a part to play in this drama. You have your own part to play - I can think that let it happen to Sukhi whatever has to happen ... whatever has to happen will happen but even Baba doesn't stop inspiring children to make effort. Even he keeps trying inspite of knowing that the drama is pre-destined. In the same way I want to try and save you from this. Again let me remind you I am writing this keeping in mind that you are my own Sister.

Baba loves all His children - but the main thing in this last birth is to become pure. You are saying that you can do what you want and still continue to do meditation or remember Baba? Let me tell you, if you still continue to indulge in what you are indulging then you won't be able to remember Baba - slowly the connection will break with Baba and even though you sit in meditation you cannot remember Him as deep down you too know this that you cannot face Baba after indulging into the vice.

You won't even realise when the connection will break and then it would be too late ... when you are disillusioned. How much ever one tries to remember Him one cannot have that quality remembrance once they indulge in vice. You can say now that you will be able to remember Him but let me tell you that its very very difficult to get back that connection that you now have with Sweet Baba. To receive Baba's help we have to follow His Shrimat.

In this last birth the mandate given to all of us is that we have to remain pure. 63 births we were impure and now just one last birth God is asking us to remain pure - can we not do this for Him for just one birth? Whatever He is asking He is doing so for your future happiness of 21 births. But from what I read you are looking for temporary happiness of one birth.

Yes, we all have those desires and vice within us as it is an accumulated sanskar of 63 births. The main thing is that we have to transform that vice - for eg. transform lust into pure love. But you said even in Gyan you were actually supressing those feelings ... you do not have to supress ... but sublime or transform those into pure love.

See try and understand how it works - not everyone will be coming to the Golden Age and even if there are some who are going to come not all will get a high status. God is creating a pure world and for that He needs pure souls. Out of the billions of the souls only 9 lakh come at the beginning of the Golden Age. When do you want to come in The Cycle ... will be decided by you now and based on the effort one makes, they receive the status there ... low effort low status and high effort high status ... and remember its for every cycle.

Why ruin your status for every cycle? Now coming to practical suggestions, try and bring this Brother (your husband) to the centre and make him understand. Take someone's help - you can also seek your best friend's help. Tell him firmly if you have decided to follow Shrimat and if that means taking extreme steps do it. It might cause you some pain now ... but just do it ... you will not repent in future ... trust me ... The moment you wake up its the morning for you ... at least from now on be pure and walk on Baba's path fully.

Don't go by what these people say. After writing all this - I wish to highlight that the ultimate choice will be only yours and only you will be responsible for the actions that you decide to take. If its in your part that you have to come again and become pure you will and if it is otherwise, it will happen ... my part is only to show you the way where you are going ... you might not like me for giving you this advise ... but then I am doing my part as I feel its my duty to open your eyes and make you realise that where you are going ... you might not agree with what you have said b'because Maya is very very smart and royal and will make you even hate me for this advise.

See what you feel about it and then decide ... sometimes in such situation Maya breaks all positive connections and even if there are positive connections it makes us see only the negative connections ... the people whom you are calling your "wonderful friends" actually they are your "enemies" for advising you wrong things ... I am just hoping that it should not be 'too late' by the time you realise this fact as then there will be only repentence and nothing else left and I am afraid to tell this but you won't be able to do anything about it. Human being can never liberate other human beings only God can liberate us and for that one has to follow His Shrimat.

All the best Sukhi ... lastly, Sukhi please do not make yourself Dukhi by indulging into vice!

Your Brother,
*
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tom

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post12 Mar 2009

Amazing call from the HQ of Zombieland.
the people whom you are calling your "wonderful friends" actually they are your "enemies" for advising you wrong things

Thank you Sukhi for your true friendship.

This mail to Sukhi is worth to be saved in the UN humanitarian museum for slavery.

In the HQ of Zombieland, the alarm sirens are sounding. One young lady whose transformation was not finished, escaped from the zombie campus.

She is making now friends in a forum full of former zombies who have transformed into humans. And she is about to transform her frozen feelings into passionate feelings of a human being. Her life with her husband is already filled with joy and contentment and is about to be filled with happiness.

The danger is great. This married young lady will be soon an attractive role model for others and her happiness will be a tempting factor for other young zombies to escape into human life. Then what will the Seniors of Zombieland do without any slaves? Who will serve them? From whom will they get the billions of pounds to fill their treasure stores?

So, the duty to call her back is given to one zombie in charge. And this extra large threatening mail full of all stereotyped BK sentences, aiming to trigger the embedded fear in all brainwashed BKs is sent to her. But it is too late ... The young lady has rescued herself from BK conditioning and achieved real liberation in life ;-).
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eromain

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post12 Mar 2009

Emergency translation of master_creators message:

via Eugene
Dear Sukhi,

How are you? Are you still a virgin? If you are then God really loves you. If you are not then I truly hope you are already wracked in the agony of eternal guilt. And although God loves everyone, he doesn’t love the shudras, because well they are shudras and he’s got to have some standards. He really would like to love them but you see really they need to be hated. That’s where I come in. God doesn’t hate – he might tell them to kill themselves and point out to them that they are worse than animals etc and do stuff that if anyone else did it we would have to say it was hate, but as he is God it can’t be hate. Hopefully your intellect isn’t so locked that you don’t understand. Of course, any disagreement with anything I say just means that its all too late and you are beyond saving.

Let’s face it: you have been hanging round some really bad souls and you’re kind of dripping in their parmat. If you really have gone too far and your intellect is locked then you really need to start considering how you have just ruined all your lives forever. Every cycle – wow you are bad. Just think all those cycles – you just ruined them all. You are sooooo sooooo baaaaaad! You need to feel it, bring all the guilt up, come on, you’re not trying hard enough.

I am not bad, I am good. And because I am so good I get to look down on all those dirty nasty shudras. Like you, sorry, no offence. I mean, its just karma isn’t it? It must be my karma to be an emperor and yours to be one of my subjects. Don’t worry you’ll feel alright in your trailor park, your intellect would be dazzled by my spirituality if we let you into the palace, so its really for your own good that you be down the other end of the Golden Age. It is amazing how we are all souls so we can say spiritual things about everyone, but really because we are all different I can and should secretly look down on everyone else. All I really have to do is love God and hate them and I reckon I’ll be at least in the 108.

Actually I’ve thought about it and I’m being too humble. I’m going to be in the eight. I am going to have a massive palace and seriously high status. All that gold will prove how spiritual I must really be.

I seriously doubt there’s any chance for you but if I send you this message I can probably bag you as another subject. Don’t let the really really impure ones see it, as they’ll just use it to make me look like a complete idiot. Isnt it funny how the shudras sometimes think they are better than us. Well lets just let them wait until the world starts ending. It will be any day now, Dadi told me.

The shudras really need people like Dadi and me otherwise they’ll just go on for ever mistakenly thinking they are happy, when really they need me to persuade them that they are not and really we are all better off when the world ends. I can’t wait for the bombs to start falling. God’s love will be everywhere – well not everywhere, in me I mean. All the others will be in agony. At least they will when I take their dying moments to teach them about karma.

Baba loves all his children – except for the ones he doesn’t love. The ones who for some reason do not realize that seeking high status in the Golden Age is actually very virtuous and not at all egotism gone mad. Just remember love is not to be wasted on humans – they are much to impure. Just love God, and me of course, and the Dadis.

Finally, I want to emphasize that I am not seeking to influence you in any way and any images of eternal damnation I may have inadvertently mentioned to you are only to help you feel extreme pain even just at the idea of making up your own mind. I want you to come to your own decision as long as you completely agree with me, and promise to suffer every miserable second of your dirty impure meaningless existence if you do not agree that I basically am perfect and know everything.

I trust that we will meet either in service, or perhaps during destruction: but unfortunately probably not in the Golden Age.

With Love, Purity, Light, Egolessness, Incredible Humility and all the other attributes of a Satyug Deity, Your Brother and Future Emperor
Master Creator.

Translated by Eugene :D.

sukhi

friends or family of a BK

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post13 Mar 2009

Hi Everyone,

Well, to be honest, I was first upset and disturbed reading the PM as I am still recovering but I guess feeling better now. Thanks to you all over here.

Keep posting.

diwali

ex-BK

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Re: Hi - I am a newcomer and want help with my relationship

Post13 Mar 2009

Thanks for the translation Eromain!

I really needed it! Did you use google?

Diwali
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