Because you can never be good enough.

I am writing to share some of my experiences within and without the BKWSU. 20 years ago, when I first entered the BK centre, I felt a most beautiful atmosphere and was drawn towards the people and, mostly, The Knowledge of which provided the answers to many of my searchings and longing to understand the crazy world of this day.

I was a young person and immediatley renounced the old world giving up study and worldly goals to pursue the life of a Brahmin this was a choice of my own. There were many students at this time attending morning class, 30-40 most days. I looked up to these Brothers and Sisters and they became a family for me [in order to protect my identity I shall have to leave out some elements to this post].

I was truly intoxicated and went to Madhubhan months later. I thought that the end was close and lived accordingly stocking up on food etc. I went on the service wagon and spread the good word, often a bit sad when no one new came to the centre. I found work and had a great time living in and out of bhavans and having great times with good people I had meet.

After say five years, the force of all the old things emerged a result of suppression and transferring all those old habits into the new life which is a common thing I see in a lot of BKs. I became very unsettled and hormonally charged, and became involved with a member of the opposite sex. I was never one to deny myself a chance to experience affection. Being held and close to a fellow human being is natural and important for life. The practice of celibacy is some thing I believe needs serious contemplation and I felt that there was no proper training provided to help people who made this commitment in their lives.

There seems to be an expectation that on completing the 7 Day Course the person is ready to go out and teach others. I was giving the course after the first two weeks. I wish now that there had been mature people around me who would counsel people on this aspect to BK life ... Are there lay people in this life or are all priests?

As the years went by I had the most wonderful experiences within the Yoga experience and coupled with the bad days of loneliness and feeling unmotivated because of the doom watch. There needs to be an eigth day of the course which gets people to ground themselves in the reality that LIFE GOES ON. I spent the next few years in and out of work doing crap jobs in order to get to Madhubhan and coming back broke. Please may I make the point that this is not about blame but highlighting some flaws in the practice of providing care to the people of this organisation.

I began to witness the slow decline in numbers as the gathering of people either hooked up with each other or became tired of the stupid games people would play; politics and power mostly. I managed to get my life on track getting good work and having an honest and good relationship with those around me.

Fast forwarding to today and I can say that I am a stable happy person with hobbies, girlfriend, great job and enjoy life. I still attend the local centre and have good friends around the scene. What has changed?

Firstly, I would say to anyone joining up take your time look at all the facts and ask questions. do not be afraid to be yourself. Taking this life and yourself to seriously will lead to heart ache learn to laugh at the strangness you find. No matter what you do, you will never be good enough for the Brahma Kumaris leadership so do not kill your self trying.

There are many wonderful resources out there that can be a means for you to find your truth do not discount other paths for there is truth in them to. Understand your relationship between yourself and the institution and try not to let humans get in the way of your relationship with your god. This is a journey enjoy it and know you have a long life ahead of you smile and tread lightly on the ground as you make your way through life.

I support the cause that there is a need for radical change when it comes to the Brahma Kumaris taking care of their members providing support for the long term well being of their members in the areas of life skills, mental health, and providing an environment that supports diversity and community without using, and abusing, privilege and position at the expense of the young and the old all alike.

HI Duty Bound,

interesting experiences indeed. I agree with your conclusions regarding the BKs needing to taking better care of their members.

Questions came to mind as I read your post, about the consistency of your position:

You say you are a 'reforming BK" and still attend centres etc. That would mean you consider the author of the teachings as the Supreme being then? If so, either the yugya is set up & guided by said supreme and all is as it should be, or said supreme doesn't understand human nature (and so lacking in "supremacy"), or (sorry to be blunt) you ain't good enough?

Or it ain't no supreme being.

I'd say, you are good enough, and it ain't no supreme being. How do you square it?

Hi Terry and thx for your reply.

Yes, that is a fair comment you make and, on reflection, it is in the high expectations that I fall short of so there - by not being good enough. Though these expectations are from myself and the community.

The supreme element would be OK with me as I am. There are many points in Murli that put conditions on receiving love from god, though is this poor translation or are there too many humans that the original message is filtered through The jury is out on this ...

Though the Murli has changed a lot from the early days ... less fire and brimstone I think ... fear based effort is so unhealthy. Yes, there is a lack of consistency because I am learning to separate out the human from the divine, and words will always fall short when describing the experience.

To clarify,

are you saying you believe there is a supreme Being (a singular personality, or Supreme Soul) and He is the source of the BK Gyan, and teaches directly only through the designated medium (BB & now Gulzar), as stated in the Murli, and at no other time or place? Its just that you sound a little equivocal or being a little ecumenical.

And if you feel you fall short of the high expectations, well, maybe they are not so much 'high' expectations, rather they are unrealistic, suited to only certain types of people? Regarding the "original message" - I am all for going to the source of the source! But what do you take the original message to be? And what is the current one as you see it?

Both are a more than a bit skewiff to my mind these days. As I understand it ...

- the original message - the world as we know it will end due to WW2, or
- the current message - the world as we know it will not actually end, it'll just segue nastily into a idyllic paradise for 0.015% of the population?

But no worries for the 99.985% either ... everyone's immortal. It'll be a like an enema (of the soul not arsole) ... a cleansing therapy, and then they all get to go home and have a nice rest and cuppa tea with their Da'.

- the current message - the world as we know it will not actually end, it'll just segue nastily into a idyllic paradise for 0.015% of the population?

Except for us, of course, we get to do the whole "tears of blood ... gnashing of teeth ... the sound of mustard seeds being crushed etc".

I still laugh at one formerly senior Western BK and "Baba's original jewel" when asked what they were going to do to prepare for the future answered, "practise screaming ... like the rest of humanity".

Sadly, there were some great wits in the early Western BKWSU. I believe most to all of them left.

Who else remembers the sign above the toilet pan in Shanti Bhavan after too many visiting "angels" missed the toilet and left their very unspiritual scent for the rest of the bhavan?

"... Remember your aim and object"

Last Essence of Murli 30-06-09

You can never feel good enough, but what about your loved ones? Well they do not know your Godly knowledge, but what if they do??

Essence: Sweet children, this dirty world is now to be set on fire. Therefore, forget everything including your body and that which you call yours. Do not attach your heart to this world.

Question: Why does the Father inspire you to have distaste for this land of sorrow?

Answer: Because you have to go to the land of peace and the land of happiness. You no longer have to stay in this dirty world. You understand that souls will become separate from their bodies and return home. Why should you look at those bodies? Therefore, your intellect should not be drawn towards anyone’s name or form. Even by having dirty thoughts, your status will be destroyed.

Om Shanti.

To the sweetest, beloved, long-lost and now-found children, love, remembrance and good morning from the Mother, the Father, BapDada. The spiritual Father says namaste to the spiritual children.

Essence for dharna:

1. You must not remember anyone except the one Father in your final moments. In order to achieve this, do not allow your heart to become attached to anyone. Do not have love for the dirty bodies. Break your Iron-Aged bondages.
2. Make your intellect broad and become fearless. In order to become a charitable soul, do not commit any sin now. Don’t speak lies for the sake of your stomach. Use your handful of rice in a worthwhile way and accumulate a true income. Have mercy for yourself.

Blessing: May you become a master ocean of love and with the sustenance of pure love tie everyone in the thread of love. When the meeting of the Ocean of Love and the rivers full of love takes place, the rivers too become master oceans of love, the same as the Father. This is why souls of the world automatically come close with the experience of love. Pure love and sustenance from the divine family automatically brings each one close like a magnet. This Godly love makes everyone co-operative and ties them in the thread of love to make them move forward.

Slogan: Accumulate the treasures of thoughts, words, time, virtues and powers and you will continue to receive help from these.

* * * O M S H A N T I * * *

Essence: Sweet children, this dirty world is now to be set on fire. Therefore, forget everything including your body and that which you call yours. ... You no longer have to stay in this dirty world. You understand that souls will become separate from their bodies and return home. Why should you look at those bodies? Do not have love for the dirty bodies.

These are the top and bottom of the Murli (channeled message allegedly from God) sent out by the BKWSU leadership to be read, or used to indoctrinate, their adherents. It should be said that they have added by the Brahma Kumari leadership leadership and where not part of the original "mediumship" session. Therefore they reflect the opinions of the leadership. Such classes, messages and encouragement from senior adherents are repeated constantly along with tales of what superhuman efforts they claim to have made.

I can confirm that, in my experience, they are used to encourage BK adherents to neglect their physical health and bodily needs. "Sacrifice" or "make more efforts" leads BKs to pushing themselves even further neglecting sleep and so on, in order to earn this "high status" in the future.

These are the top and bottom of the Murli (channeled message allegedly from God) sent out by the BKWSU leadership to be read, or used to indoctrinate, their adherents. It should be said that they have added by the Brahma Kumari leadership and where not part of the original "mediumship" session.

Yes, to be more precise for the non-BK guests reading this forum, "Essence", "Question" and "Answer" sentences at the top of the Murli, and "Essence for Dharna", and the "Blessing" paragraphs at the end of the Murli are added from the incognito Murli editors group in Madhuban according to the politics of the BK Leadership.