Thank you Tom, that is very true.
Oh Lord. Dear Jannisder, it has been three years now!!?? Have you accepted the relationship as platonic, and even if you have, does he know of your feelings for him? Have you ever openly discussed this and, if so, what are his feelings for you?
Are you happy with the relationship that you have as it stands now?
It seems to me that Cranuta has met someone she has deep feelings for but her friend is running, the poor guy must be really freaked out, because of his fear. She is maybe less likely to get as involved as Jannisder. Hopefully, for her sake. Of course, that will be his loss.
Jannisder, if this guy has been "in Gyan" for nine years and is having a relationship with you for the past three; he, unlike Cranuta's friend, is obviously one of those people in life who are comfortable with keeping different, sometimes contradictory parts of their lives separate, while running concurrent. This can be a positive thing but it can also contain an element of deceit/self-deceit and also convenience (for him). Does it seem he is having it all his own way?
I, unfortunately, threw myself right in to the BK thing. (Thankfully, I think now, though for many years I felt I had failed because I left) I did know many others who seemed to be able to live their lives alongside it.
Does it work for you as it is? One thing in your past posts brought up a question for me?
At one point you were given an ultimatum, become a Brahmin or forget all our plans.
I would be interested to know what the plans were, not from nosiness; but I am intrigued, that he is "pukka" enough to want you to become a Brahmin; but you also had personal plans?
Or were they service plans?
I think the important thing is that you are realistic about what the relationship has to offer and if you accept that without false hope. And that there will not be future resentment. After all, you sound like a wonderful person.
Could there be someone out there who could give you more, and is your involvement with BK bro preventing that?
On the other hand, so many people in conventional relationships are miserable.
Wishing you all well.
Oh Lord. Dear Jannisder, it has been three years now!!?? Have you accepted the relationship as platonic, and even if you have, does he know of your feelings for him? Have you ever openly discussed this and, if so, what are his feelings for you?
Are you happy with the relationship that you have as it stands now?
It seems to me that Cranuta has met someone she has deep feelings for but her friend is running, the poor guy must be really freaked out, because of his fear. She is maybe less likely to get as involved as Jannisder. Hopefully, for her sake. Of course, that will be his loss.
Jannisder, if this guy has been "in Gyan" for nine years and is having a relationship with you for the past three; he, unlike Cranuta's friend, is obviously one of those people in life who are comfortable with keeping different, sometimes contradictory parts of their lives separate, while running concurrent. This can be a positive thing but it can also contain an element of deceit/self-deceit and also convenience (for him). Does it seem he is having it all his own way?
I, unfortunately, threw myself right in to the BK thing. (Thankfully, I think now, though for many years I felt I had failed because I left) I did know many others who seemed to be able to live their lives alongside it.
Does it work for you as it is? One thing in your past posts brought up a question for me?
At one point you were given an ultimatum, become a Brahmin or forget all our plans.
I would be interested to know what the plans were, not from nosiness; but I am intrigued, that he is "pukka" enough to want you to become a Brahmin; but you also had personal plans?
Or were they service plans?
I think the important thing is that you are realistic about what the relationship has to offer and if you accept that without false hope. And that there will not be future resentment. After all, you sound like a wonderful person.
Could there be someone out there who could give you more, and is your involvement with BK bro preventing that?
On the other hand, so many people in conventional relationships are miserable.
Wishing you all well.