Dear Meghna,
You must have an iron will that you can stay two days without eating anything. And learning that you have to work as you say, it must be extremely hard for you to concentrate and to spend the necessary energy without taking any fuel for your brain and for your body.
I know that if you have so much will power to stay so long without eating anything, you have also the willpower to heal yourself and live on balanced and healthy food.
Heal yourself dear Meghna and stop this incredible torture and violence you are doing to your soul, mind and body and to your parents. The parents suffer more than their child in cases of child's anorexia and depression. You have the power to heal yourself. Sing and dance whenever you have time and heal yourself. You can start your healing process in his moment.
For help, I would advise you to visit the website of a master healer and teacher of Soul, Mind and Body Medicine, and author of many books on Soul Power, Dr. Zhi Gang Sha, (
www.DrSha.com), where you can watch and listen to Dr.Sha's videos teaching how to heal oneself with singing and soul dancing. You can also download with a small fee his powerful Soul Songs Blessings for the health of all body organs and for situations like anger, grief, depression and anxiety. Many friends and relatives of mine including myself have been healed from serious health situations by practicing his methods.
meghna wrote:So I think this (BK) is the perfect place for me.
Just the opposite dear Meghna. The BKs don't have any understanding and any empathy for their so called BK Sisters and BK Brothers with any health problems. Even they report to the Seniors if one BK can not eat some sort of food like dairy products because of allergy or other health situations, as ex-l reports today in another thread from his own experience.
ex-l wrote:I used to discover that my center-in-charge reported anything I said (or thereby 'had thought') which stood out to the Seniors. In the "worst" case, I wanted to stop eating dairy products as they made me sick, I was made to phone up the Seniors (Jayanti) in London to explain myself.
I myself have been years long serving as a BK teacher and have been in different BK centers, several times to Madhuban and Oxford Global Retreat Center, and stayed for longer periods everywhere, helping in the kitchen.
They don't like anyone in the centers without any appetite. The kitchen is considered as the heart of the center. Cooking for the Brahmins is considered as the most important service and should be done by the experienced teachers in the center. If any BK does not eat their Brahma bhojan, it is a great insult for all of them. Even BKs with diabetes have to eat their heavy food full of carbohydrates and sugar, which would mean poison for such people.
I have observed that generally most of the BKs eat too much I must say, most of the female BKs including some top Seniors like Big Mo from New York and the late Manohar Dadi for example, had eating disorders with some sort of food addictions. For BKs, too much eating is, in my opinion, a sort of compensation for all joy of life they are missing.
They don't want anyone with depression or some psychological disorders or severe health situations in the centers because they don't know how to help them. So they don't care for their so called Sisters and Brothers if they break down. The only way they know is to send them to their family home (if their family is still alive) as it happened to many important BK instrument teachers who had surrendered their lives to the BKWSU and served the BKs decades long. The best treatment(!) I witnessed was given to one of my previous instrument teachers, who was left alone to die in one of the rooms of the Global Hospital without any help and assistance to feed him, as he was not able to eat by himself any more.