My relationship with God now

for ex-BKs, exiting BKs, Friends & Family of BKs and newcomers to the forum.
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BraveAthena

ex-BK

  • Posts: 5
  • Joined: 06 Dec 2009
  • Location: New Mexico

My relationship with God now

Post06 Dec 2009

Hello everyone,

I have just found and joined this site today and have spent HOURS reading the posts. It has been comforting and enlightening to discover that I am not 'alone' in my post-BK feelings and experiences, and that my feeling of needing to be deprogrammed is not unique. I was 'in' for 10 years and have been 'out' now for 7.

When I first left, I wanted nothing to do with anything spiritual. Since I had believed so commitedly that it was God's path, I felt betrayed by God himself because of awful experiences I had with other BKs and the supposed leaders. I am just now beginning to heal completely and to seek out my spiritual power (alone!), but have trouble meditating and thinking of God in a way that is not BK. I want that relationship with God that has been important to me my whole life again, but am a bit clueless as to how to heal it, and embrace it in a new and non-BK way.

I don't know if this has been talked about in a forum before, but your experiences will be valuable and appreciated.
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gumbowumbo

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  • Joined: 11 Nov 2009

Re: My relationship with God now

Post06 Dec 2009

BraveAthena wrote:When I first left, I wanted nothing to do with anything spiritual. Since I had believed so commitedly that it was God's path, I felt betrayed by God himself because of awful experiences I had with other BKs and the supposed leaders. I am just now beginning to heal completely and to seek out my spiritual power (alone!), but have trouble meditating and thinking of God in a way that is not BK. I want that relationship with God that has been important to me my whole life again, but am a bit clueless as to how to heal it and embrace it in a new and non-BK way.

Hello BraveAthena,

I think most of Ex-Bks struggle with similar problems. I, myself, had a period of time denying my spirituality.

For me it's helpful to see Lekraj Kripalani (BrahmaBaba) in his role as jeweller. A jeweller is not the one who digs for the jewels, he is the one who buys and sells them for his living. So, in the same way, not every "jewel of knowledge" sold by BKWSU has to be false, e.g. "soul conciousness" is mentioned in Bhagavad Gita ... Mr. Kripalani found his "jewels" of different religions beliefs and sold them as knowledge to his followers.

So, I think it's up to you to decide and to search what fits and is good for you.

I keep it with Socrates words; I know that I don't know.

A second thought is that as long as one struggles with BK-beliefs, one cannot be free of them. Like supporting health is more important than fighting illness. I try to live in peace with my past. Wounds become scars. :sad: :| :D.
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BraveAthena

ex-BK

  • Posts: 5
  • Joined: 06 Dec 2009
  • Location: New Mexico

Re: My relationship with God now

Post07 Dec 2009

Thank you GumboWumbo for your 'pearls' of wisdom ...

It is true that one cannot throw it all out as false or brainwashing. As several people have told me since, this was a stepping stone to gain knowledge and spiritual experience, and now I must find my own way, which I am doing. I do feel my spirituality calling me back into the power of silence and find it easy to go there. Now, it's the moment to heal completely and remember who I am and why I am here ... One does feel, even after 7 years, a bit like a 'stranger in a strange land', but the purpose of our lives is to be revealed. I have no doubt that we ex-BKs belong to God nevertheless and maybe even in a more true way ...

However, I am still open to hearing what others have experienced and where they are now with the concept of God and meditation, and how to not think of BK when doing so ...
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ex-l

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  • Joined: 07 Apr 2006

Re: My relationship with God now

Post07 Dec 2009

BraveAthena wrote:When I first left, I wanted nothing to do with anything spiritual. Since I had believed so commitedly that it was God's path, I felt betrayed by God himself because of awful experiences I had with other BKs and the supposed leaders. I am just now beginning to heal completely and to seek out my spiritual power (alone!), but have trouble meditating and thinking of God in a way that is not BK. I want that relationship with God that has been important to me my whole life again, but am a bit clueless as to how to heal it and embrace it in a new and non-BK way.

Welcome Athena, and thank you. I think you have just put your finger on the deepest wound and the hardest one to heal.

To confuse, to make believe, that the spirit ... spirits or whatever they are ... which rule the Brahma Kumaris is "God", is the greatest spiritual crime the unaccountable and dishonest idiots running the BKWSU. If they just claimed it was some spook from a high realm, Lekhraj Kirpalani or Mama channeling messages for them, I would have no complaint about them. It is exploiting people's 'god complex', in the duplicitous way that they do, that concerns me most. The other terrible crime they commit, and it is quite intention of the spiritual guidance they have, is the separation of individuals from others and entire material environment.

I have no faith in any singular "Supreme God" any more. I understand what you feel. But, having gone through the intense cultic experience, you now can see how all religions, and other large parts of society, operate in pretty much the same way cultic manner and avoid it. However, the aloneness and separation might still remain.

I was just reading of yet another Brahma Kumaris historical revision and re-write. Old magazines from around the 60s saying very clearly that the Sangam Yug (Confluence Age) was specifically 40 years long. We are now more than 70 years.

Does a God or a Godman REALLY bullsh** and lie to his adherents? So, what is it then ... ?
gumbowumbo wrote:I think most of Ex-BKs struggle with similar problems ... For me it's helpful to see Lekraj Kripalani (BrahmaBaba) in his role as jeweller. A jeweller is not the one who digs for the jewels, he is the one who buys and sells them for his living. So, in the same way, not every "jewel of knowledge" sold by BKWSU has to be false

I keep it with Socrates words; I know that I don't know.

Congratulations, gumbo, for coming up with a new and original thought for this forum ... the 'merchant' Lekhraj Kirpalani trading his spiritual jewelry.

Of course, since dying he has gone into "wholesale" ... supplying the Brahma Kumaris ... who have gone on developing the family business. Spirituality is a marketplace with demand and supply, the Brahma Kumaris have jumped into 'new market' after 'new market' all around the world, just like their trading Sindhi forebearers did. The home market was poor and saturated with competition, and there was good money abroad, so that is where they went to find it.

I keep saying to people that to understand or de-mystify the Brahma Kumaris, you have to start by learning a little bit about the Sindhi merchant caste they came out of. Specifically, in the case of the Brahma Kumaris, they went first looking for, or piggybacking on, the moneyed Sindhi and neighbouring Gujeratis abroad, and built their business on top of them.

Westerner BKs were just naive, well meaning fools to be sucked in and USED by them. Most Indians see the Brahma Kumaris for exactly what they are (and the first criticism is generally that they are "stinking rich"). Westerners - Whites - were used, and are still used, HEAVILY to attract and impress other Indians.
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omns

ex-BK

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  • Joined: 14 Jan 2010

Re: My relationship with God now

Post15 Jan 2010

gumbowumbo wrote:A second thought is that as long as one struggles with BK-beliefs, one cannot be free of them. Like supporting health is more important than fighting illness. I try to live in peace with my past. Wounds become scars.

This is great advice :D
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alladin

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  • Joined: 27 Feb 2007

Re: My relationship with God now

Post17 Jan 2010

Hi and welcome to the newcomers.

I agree with these posts of yours. Giving a lot of our - precious - energy to something negative in order to overcome it or get rid of it, means fueling it still.

However, one thing is obsessing about something/somebody, and being haunted, that is we are not in control. Another thing is coming to terms with the past, rather than sweeping it all under the carpet, trying to make some sense into things that happened around us and to us, so that we can heal properly and the wound is completely sealed.

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